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Tucker To The Ballet -*- Copyright 2007 by Ellen Hayes.

Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual
persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when
used for satirical purposes.

This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and
possibly sex.  If you are legally not allowed to read materials
containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading
this.  I am not responsible.
Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it
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All rights reserved.  See the bottom for distribution rights.


Tucker To The Ballet


***
08:39 15 Nov

     "Well I CAN'T just tell him I LIKE him!" Nicole complained, like
that was sensible.
     "Why not?" I asked.
     She gave me a rich, Lisa-like, 'What, are you stupid or something?
Or is that a trick question?' look.  "Be-CAUSE," she emphasized.
     I thought maybe I was being dumb, somehow, and missing something
obvious, so I thought about it.  "Ummm...  Okay, so you like him, and
you hang out with him- I mean, it's sort of your friends and his
friends, right?"  She nodded.  "They all hang together."  She kept
nodding.  "And he talks to you, and you like it, and you like the same
music and stuff..."
     "Yeah," she admitted softly as she looked away, and then giggled
madly in embarrassment.
     "So just ask him out."
     "I can't!"
     I sighed, and changed the subject.  "Okay, so you can't..."  I
couldn't find another subject quickly.  "What about the last guy you
dated?"
     "Ugh," she made a face.
     "Yeah but WHY 'ugh'?"
     That made her laugh, and then I had to laugh too, because it did
sound pretty stupid if you just listened to what I'd said.

***
08:46 15 Nov

     Not like Nicole could leave off talking about the guy she wanted to
date.  I supposed it was inevitable, or an XX thing, or something.
     She nodded again.  "So, like, how would- I mean, what..."  She
huffed in annoyance.  "You're a guy, what kind of signal or something-"
     "Aw, man, _I_ am like the WRONG person to ask," I told her.  "All
the girls _I_ ever asked out or anything like that, none of them went
out with me twice.  And the girls that DID go out with me more than
once, like you could consider like we were actually dating, THEY asked
ME out."  Even Tina The Whore had asked me out.
     "Like who?"
     "Um...  Jill, for one.  And," much as I hated to admit it, "Debbie
Carstairs, last year...  There-"
     "You dated HER?" she asked incredulously.
     "Yeah, I gues-  No, I mean, we were dating for like almost a year,"
I sighed.  "August or so, to just after the end of school last year."
     "I wondered, about her," she said as she turned back to practicing
nail-painting.
     "What, like..."  There were too many things an innocent bystander
could possibly wonder about Debbie; I didn't dare guess one out loud.
     "I dunno, she's just weird, kind of.  Like...  I dunno.  Like she's
always working or something, she never has time to like stop and talk
unless it's business or something.  I talked to her a few times... which
is kind of weird," she noticed, "because we're not like in the same year
or the same classes or anything.  I've got a couple of classes with
Karen Stockman, though, maybe that's it."
     "Karen Stockman?"
     "Yah, her little sister?"
     *Debbie doesn-  Oh, right.*

***
09:02 15 Nov

     "So, like, what should I do?"
     "Um..."  I HAD discussed this with Mike, and even a bit with George
and Dan.  George was great for limiting your social options; he thought
of so many things you shouldn't ever do.  He should write a book, we'd
thought - How Not To Date And Other Social Blunders - but he didn't like
the idea, unless he put our names on it instead of his.  "Really,
just... ask him, like, if he wants to see a movie.  If he does, you got
it.  If he does but he invites anyone else, or everyone else, then... he
missed the clue again, but you didn't lose anything.  Don't get all
huffy if he's dumb about it, though," I warned her.  "It's hard for
guys."
     "What?!  Like HOW," she challenged.
     "The problem is, how do you tell the difference from a girl who
might want to be friends, a girl who is friends and DOESN'T want
anything more than that, and a girl who DOES want more than that?  I
always figured, girls don't like me, so I just took what I could get,
like talking to them at all about anything.  Books or something."
     She made a face at the idea of books.
     "Or whatEVER.  A-  One friend of mine, she likes dolls, a-  She's
older than you, by the way," I lied with deflection aforethought.  "So
like, she likes dolls, so if I liked dolls, I could talk to her about
them.  We DID talk about them; she knows a lot about the different ones
she has, like what era it's from, the clothing, and what company made
it, and why it's a good doll or why it isn't, and things like that.
Anyway, it was a lot more interesting than my sister ever was with HER
dolls..."  *Where was I?  Talking to girls, right.*  "But, like, y'know,
if I was gonna ask her out, that might ruin that, like we wouldn't be
friends, you know?"
     "Oh, yeah, kind of," she nodded.
     "And then, like," as I remembered my point, "is she talking to me
about dolls because she wants to go out with me, or because she's into
dolls and wants to talk about them?  I dunno, and I don't want to screw
things up, so I don't try to push things like asking her out.  I don't
even THINK about it; it's not safe, and I might screw it up and then she
wouldn't want to be friends any more."
     "So, but, what about you and Jill?  Last weekend you said you were
dating someone but you wouldn't say who, and then last week in class you
were joking with her about how she split up with you or something?"
     "Well, she made the move on me," I said.  "And... well, when she
decided she didn't quite want to date- like, DATE-date me, any more,
then we sort of..."  I shook my head.  "This is where it gets hard.
Hard to explain.  We're still fr-friends," I managed to say, "but the
dating and, uh, kissing and things like that, that's sort of out... but
it's hard in a way, because, it's like, once you break up with someone,
you're-"
     "Girls," Miz Singley called at us.  "More practice and less chat."
     Nicole started sniggering into her hands, as did the other two
girls who were there doing hair.
     "Girls and boys," she amended, far too late, and then I started
sniggering myself.  "Get to work," she ordered, but I could hear her
smiling uncontrollably too, and then I laughed out loud a split second
before Nicole did.

***
09:48 15 Nov

     "I thought you were going to wear a green dress," Nicole smirked at
me.
     "What?"
     "The polish?"
     I looked at the bottle in my hand, of pale green.  After several
seconds, I said, "Oh, right.  I'm not a redhead, remember?"
     "What?"
     "Didn't I say that?  A redhead, in a dress kind of this color," I
shook the bottle at her.  She shook her head back at me.  "I thought I
did..."
     "No, you said it should match, like a green dress like that color,"
she corrected.
     "Oh.  Well, yeah, I guess it should... or it could."
     "So where's your dress?"
     I opened my mouth to say something then changed my mind.  "YOU were
the one that was supposed to get the dress, remember?"
     She started giggling at that, and while I had the chance I opened
the bottle and locked it into place before Miz Singley could say
something else about us talking and not working.  "I think you'd look
good in a dress this color, though," I mentioned.  "Maybe for Kevin?"
     "NO!" she shrieked, which got everyone's attention, and then she
slapped my shoulder.
     "Nothing," I called in the hopes that would stop anything else from
anyone else.  "And then you could dye your hair red."
     She was giggling too hard to say anything.
     "No, really, you'd look good," I said, actually thinking about it
now.  She would, too, I thought.

***
10:11 15 Nov

     "Henna," said one of the hair girls.  "It's like a vegetable dye,
it doesn't strip- I mean, you don't have to strip the existing color
with bleach first.  Henna just sort of coats the hair shaft and colors
it."
     "Oh yeah," one of the other hair girls agreed half-heartedly.
     I commented, "So, I mean, she looks good in the red, though,
right?"
     "Yeah, I think so," said the first one as they turned her by
pulling her shoulders.  "Except like henna would make it darker."  The
wig, old and tired and one of a bunch used for demonstration purposes of
what different colors and styles looked like on faces - you had to
wonder where they'd gotten all of them, but I was scared to ask - was I
thought a nice color, kind of cinnamon.
     The other hair girl pulled the wig off Nicole's head and replaced
it with another one, which set Nicole's giggles off again.  "Shut up a
minute and be still," the other girl bitched mildly as she carefully
adjusted the placement.  "See, kind of more like that," she said as she
turned Nicole back to the mirror.  "Darker."
     "Oh yeah," I agreed.  I liked the color of the other one better,
but this one looked more natural with Nicole's face.
     She liked it too, judging from the way she kept giggling but also
kept looking at herself.
     "Miz Singley?" one of the girls called.  "Could you come over here
and check something?  We thought this would look kind of good in her
hair, or like henna?"

***
11:02 15 Nov

     "Wha?"
     "I think your vibrator went off," Nicole said, as I figured out
what it was, and then spazzed herself in hilarity.
     "Ha ha," I mentioned as I got up, kicked her lightly in the leg,
and went to find someplace quiet.  *Damn I wish this thing had Caller
ID...*  "Hello?"
     "Val, it's Debbie."  I was about to scream 'HOW DID YOU GET MY
NUMBER?!' but maybe she knew I was going to do that because she didn't
even slow down, she just kept talking.  "Jill's got enough for her
motorcycle but not enough for like a helmet or a jacket or anything."
     "Oh-"
     "And she shouldn't ride without one, I mean one of each, right?"
     "Yeah-"
     "So I was calling to ask if you wanted to contribute anything, like
twenty dollars or something, I'm gonna call all her friends and ask them
too, so we can get her a helmet and stuff?"
     "Um... I think I can do forty," I said, pressed for time.  "And-
but, I mean, that's her Christmas and birthday presents combined, for
like this year- I mean, the next year.  Hold on a sec."  I had to think
a second.  *Would Mom want me to mention her?*  Mom had told us about
motorcycles; and I didn't like the thought of some of Mom's stories
about why you should wear motorcycle armor applied to the body of
someone I liked.  *But does Mom like Jill enough?*
     *Have Debbie ask her,* I realized.  Mom was a big girl; she could
decide for herself.  "Call my mother," I told her.  "Tell her what you
just told me, and ask.  Can you get the stuff and everyone pays you
back?  I don't want her riding at ALL without armor, not even today
once."
     "Me neither; that's what I was doing.  Forty?  You sure?"
     "Yah... but don't call Dan or George or them, I'll ask them."
Forty was kind of a lot... and while I wanted Jill to be well-protected,
I also didn't want to bankrupt myself; it wasn't MY cycle, after all.
     "Okaybye-"#click#.

***
11:56 15 Nov

     "So, like, were you going to lunch?" Nicole asked, I think
hopefully, as she quickly but carefully stretched her knitted hat with
the fingers of both hands and then placed it over her hair and the wig
she was still wearing; it looked like she'd practiced putting on hats
that way for a long time.
     Luckily, I'd been prepared for her to ask exactly this, so I hadn't
brought my own lunch.  Instead, I'd eaten all the breakfast I could
manage without having to go back to bed immediately thereafter.  And
pizza for breakfast was GOOD.

***
12:01 15 Nov

     "You still didn't get rid of the diaper box," Nicole pointed out.
     "Wh-  Oh."  I hadn't.  I looked around, and of course there was
nothing like a trash can anywhere close to where I was parked.  "Remind
me at the lunch pla-  Oh, hey, were did you want to go anyway?  Wendy's
again?"
     She wrinkled her nose at me.  "Could we go to Long John Silver's
instead?  My stepdad hates the place and we never go."
     I thought about fried sorta-fish, and it wasn't that bad.  "Yeah
okay."
     "Oh great!" she smiled.
     Besides, the grease would do me good; my joints felt stiff.

***
12:07 15 Nov

     "So like where's Jennie?" I asked.  "Did she make all her hours up
already?"
     "Yah, I thin- no, she's got more she has to do, but she had
something this weekend, like a wedding or something," Nicole explained.
     "Isn't she a little young?"
     Short pause, before Nicole protested, "NO!  Not HER you dork!" and
we both laughed.  "I think it's like a cousin or something, she was like
complaining she had to be in the wedding party, Jennie was.  And her
cousin, the one that's getting married, is being like a TOTAL bitch
about the entire thing."
     "What?"  I'd been under the impression that the point of a 'wedding
party' was to take all the shit off the bride's and groom's shoulders.
     "Yeah, like- I mean, just the flowers for her bouquet.  It's like
NOVEMBER, right?"  I had to nod in agreement, but she wasn't paying
attention.  "So like she wants some kind of stuff that doesn't bloom
until spring, and like a SANE person would go like, 'Oh, either I don't
get the flowers I want OR I have the wedding when they're in bloom,'
right?"
     "Uh oh yeah," I definitely agreed.
     "Oh no," Nicole stated.  "SHE's got to have them NOW, and so she's
like been bitching for people to call like every florist and greenhouse
in like five states to try and find someone stupid enough to be growing
them.  She's not doing it herself, she's bitching at other people to do
it.  Okay?"
     "Uhuh."  I was glad I wasn't involved with the wedding.
     "So, she FINDS them.  Or someone does.  But-  Hey, could I like
have a cigarette before we go in?"
     "Uh..."  I checked my watch.  "If you can eat fast, yeah; we gotta
be back by one, you know.  But wait 'til we stop; you CAN'T have one in
the car," I added, because it looked like she was going to fire one up
right here.  "So go on about the flowers?"
     "Oh, right, so like she FINDS someone who's growing them, and she
has ONE fit about the PRICES, and then when she gets done with THAT, she
has a completely NEW fit because they don't have like the EXACT COLORS
that she wanted.  And that's just for her like bouquet!  She's gonna
hold it for like what, five minutes?"

***
12:19 15 Nov

     The cashier quickly intoned, "Thank you ma'am it'll be right out,"
as she handed me my change.  I took it and sorted the change and bills
into the appropriate compartments in my wallet - I really ought to get
another wallet or something, one that was a little more bisexual, so to
speak - and turned to find Nicole reddened and holding her mouth shut
with both hands.
     "What?" I asked as I moved away from the counter.
     Nicole let her fingers loose enough to choke out, "She called you a
girl!" in a half-strangled near-whisper.  "You left your nails paint-!"
got out before she grabbed again and shut herself off manually.
     I didn't even need to look, for once, because I knew I had.
Calculated risk, I'd thought; the incessant cycle of paint-strip-paint-
strip had left me with a choice of going out with my nails painted or
cutting into my lunch hour, and even then I'd have to do a good job
because 'half-assed job of nail polish removal' would be as bad as
having the polish on.  Miz Singley always scheduled the normal classes
with five minutes of clean-up time, but not the weekends. "You're still
wearing that wig," I mentioned.
     "WHAT?!  OH my god," she spazzed as her hands flew up, letting her
mouth loose for a few syllables.  "Oh my g-!"
     "Chill, it looks good on you, remember?"
     Then she had the giggle fit I was half-expecting.

***
12:27 15 Nov

     "She called you a girl!" Nicole reminded me as we sat down at a far
table, that I'd picked because I was afraid she was going to do exactly
this.
     "Yeah?  And what the hell should I do about it?" I asked her.  "I
mean, do I have a fit over her?  Why?  It's not like she's doing it to
be mean," probably.  I didn't recognize the cashier, not even faintly,
so it was unlikely; and I was trying as a general rule to avoid useless
paranoid thinking.  And save it for when I needed it.
     "But doesn't it bug you?"
     What really bugged me was everyone asking me incredulously 'But
doesn't it bug you?'  I decided not to mention this, however, and
instead said, "No.  Why should it?  I don't care, it's not like I'm
going to be seeing her again or anything.  She just made a mistake, and
I know it's one people make with me 'cause she's not the first one."
     I shrugged at her, and put some vinegar on my fried pseudo-fish.
     "Oh you like vinegar too?" she asked.
     "Yeah... something different.  You ever, I mean, do you ever get
tired of all the sweet stuff you get in like fast food, or even prepared
food like in the store?  They don't put sugar in the vinegar, at least."
Thank Ghu.  I really did get tired of everything tasting just that bit
sweet.  Probably why people were so fat and why there was so much
diabetes in the US.
     She was nodding as she ripped open one of the little packets
herself and started drenching her pseudo-fish.  "Yah, I mean sometimes
it's okay, but not like all the time you know?"  I nodded agreement.

***
12:49 15 Nov

     "What, you want another one?"
     "Well I can't do it at school!" she complained at me.
     "Even on the weekends?  I mean like what happens on the weekend?"
     She shook her head.  "It's still, I mean, I can get like Saturday
detentions and stuff for it.  I dunno, I forget."  I had no idea, since
it wasn't something I ever had to worry about, of course.  Smoking with
asthma seemed about as wise as knifing yourself when you had hemophilia.
Not to mention the other stupidities involved.
     Speaking of which, "My mom said, the sooner you quit the easier it
is.  She had to quit when I was little, because of my asthma, and she
said it was the hardest thing she ever had to do, 'cause she'd done it
since she was in high school."
     Nicole exhaled a translucent cloud and breathed, "Fuck off."
     I waved the insult away; she was, thankfully, standing downwind.
"Well, thanks for standing downwind," I said, in the hopes of positively
reinforcing that behaviour in the future.  She waved that away.  "So," I
said, to change the subject, "if Jennie's at the wedding now, and all
that shit's been going on, do you think she'll be coming back to school
Monday, or is she going into a mental home for a few years to recover?"
     "God I swear!" Nicole agreed.  "I hope I don't get like that.  When
I get married."  Inhalation, pause, another plume.  "If."
     "Oh f- I hope my SISTER doesn't get like that," I realized.  "Oh
shit."
     "That'd be worse, 'cause she's like your sister," Nicole pointed
out, which I'd already realized.
     "And she DOES shit like- well, she used to," I said, having to be
fair.  "She got better once she left home for college."
     Nicole snorted, which looked kind of interesting because you could
see where the snort went, so to speak.  "Yeah, I mean, if my MOM left
for college I bet she'd be a lot better too!"
     "There is that," I agreed.  "But it's like, she's on downers or
something, because she's a LOT nicer and calmer than she used to be.  I
dunno what the hell happened..."  I shook my head; it was still sort of
incomprehensible.  "But I'm glad it DID happen, whatever it was."
     She nodded absently as she concentrated on her drug inhalation.
     A burp made me think, *Food was good, though not like last night...
Mike sure liked it. I think it filled him up.  Wait...*  There was
something about Mike and eating, and-  *Right, gotta eat like Mike
lately.*  Though I had been, at least the last twenty-four hours.  *That
means I have to figure out tonight.  Pam and Julia,* I remembered. "Hey,
do you mind if I make a couple of phone calls?"
     "Nah, s'okay," Nicole allowed.
     "Cool," I said, and found my cellphone in the med bag and dialed
Pam.  *Wonder if she's home, or- no, that's Sunday and this isn't.
Still, is she off do-*
     "Hello?"
     "Pam?  Tuck.  I got the thing for tonight, thanks, but-"
     "Oh, you're welcome.  Did you try it on?  And Sabrina said you had
shoes for it right?"
     I just remembered I'd left the bag at home.  "Uh, yeah, I think-"
     "I can bring some," she assured me.  "I wasn't sure what I was
gonna be wearing, but I got that sorted out so I can bring some for
you."
     "Oh good."  Not like I thought I needed them...  "But what I was
calling about was, what do you want to do for like supper tonight?  Do
you know when it starts?"
     "Oh, uh, Julia said it starts at eight but we want to be there
early if possible, like seven-thirty, if we want to park without having
to pay for valet parking."  I did not want to pay for valet parking.
"And you don't want to walk a long way in the street or whatever with
nice shoes, it messes 'em up."
     "Sidewalks?"
     "Yeah, them too, sometimes.  Dress shoes just don't live as long as
normal shoes, y'know?"
     I had to pull the phone away from my mouth so I could laugh without
deafening Pam.
     When I got done, I asked, "So, like, what are we doing?"
     "I dunno.  I think I need-  Can y-  Where are you?"
     "At school, making up cos- class hours."  I was very tired of the
'make up cosmetology' joke.
     "Oh, um... are you going home after that?"
     "Yeah, I need to."  I'd forgotten the stupid dress.  I couldn't
believe I'd forgotten to bring the stupid dress.  It was that damned
pizza-
     "Okay," she said decisively, "lemme call her and figure it out and
then call you back, or you call me right when you get home okay?  What
time do you think you'll get home?"
     "Uh, after five, like five thirty?"
     "Okay call me, okay?"
     "Okay, bye."  I hung up - the cellphone had an actual 'end call'
button, which was a good idea except it was a little too easy to press
accidentally.  Maybe.
     "Man, I GOT to get one of those," Nicole mentioned as I slipped the
cellphone back into the case on my medpack.  "How much do they cost?"
     "Uh.  I don't know... too much, I know that," I realized, too late;
Dad was gonna start billing me, with some kind of disgusting profit
margin like 10%, if I kept up using the stupid thing.  "And it's like
per minute of call, and of course they round up..."

***
13:03 15 Nov

     I'd worried a lot and complained a little about being late getting
back, but I shouldn't have; even Miz Singley wasn't back yet, and we had
the whole classroom to ourselves.
     "See I told you," Nicole sneered as she took off her coat, exposing
the black sweater she was wearing over the light blue turtleneck visible
in the V of the sweater's neckline.  *Man, I wish I'd worn something
like that...*  My layered pants were fine in here and outside; normally
my ski jacket would've been enough, but apparently they didn't turn the
heaters on during the weekend, and I hadn't known or remembered this,
and so I wasn't wearing enough on my arms.  The armor kept my torso warm
at least...  Still, she looked good AND comfortable.
     Then it caught me.  "Are you going out after this?" I asked her.
     "What?  Oh yeah, me and Sherry and some other girls and like some
guys are-"
     "Is Kevin one of the guys?"
     "Man, shut up!" she spasmed as she started to giggle.

***
13:05 15 Nov

     "But you look really good," I told her.
     "Yeah, so good it took you like FIVE hours to notice," she sneered.
     "Hey, I told you I was a straight male," I lied; I don't think I'd
actually told her that, though I'd hinted and insinuated when I could
remember to do it.
     She boggled for a while, then almost fell down laughing.
Apparently heels were kind of dangerous in this sort of situation, even
the sort of chunky ones her boots had.

***
16:54 15 Nov

     "You sure?"
     "I'm SURE!" I repeated.  Her nails did look good, and mine were
dry.
     "'Cause I don't want to mess 'em up," she repeated for the fourth
or fifth time.
     "Nicole, they're dry, they're fine, they look good, I'm going home
now," I told her, and got ready to sling the tank and leave.  Shane and
Lila had already left, and Miz Singley was sort of waiting impatiently
at her desk.
     "Wait!  What about yours?"
     "What about 'em?" I smirked.  I'd done them in the same color as
she- well, she'd done mine and I'd done hers, but in the same color.  I
don't know why she picked a deep red, with what she had on, but she'd
assured me that that's what she wanted; and I knew it'd look good on me
with the black dress.
     "Aren't you going to take the polish off yours?"
     "Heh.  No, I'm going out to dinner with a couple of friends, and I
want to see how long it takes 'em to notice."  That was a lie I'd
thought of earlier, when I'd decided to have Nicole do mine for tonight.
"Besides, the first thing I'm gonna do when I leave is get some of my
own acetone."
     "A-  Oh right.  And cotton balls."
     "Oh, right."  Toilet paper was a bad substitute.  Miz Singley had
mentioned that, way back at the beginning of the year.
     "You SURE you want to do that?" Nicole warned me.
     "Nah, it's cool," I assured her.  "Or if you really want, you can
come with me and go in and get the stuff for me."
     "No, my mom's coming to pick me up," she said, which I already
knew.  Heh.  Not like I'd been serious.  "You sure you'll be okay?"
     "I'm sure!  If there's any problems, I'll call YOU, okay?" I
grinned.
     She shook her head at me, but started out the door.  I folded my
fingers in - the stupid paint was amazingly sensitive to hard impacts
even when the surface was nominally dry, and anything like a slight tap
would leave 'permanent' marks - and wriggled into my tank harness and
started out the door myself.  "Hey, don't stay too late," I reminded Miz
Singley.  "You get to go home until Monday morning, remember?"
     She smiled at me as she looked up, and raised a hand, so I waved a
bit to her as I took off.

***
16:57 15 Nov

     When I got outside, Nicole was just about to get into some car, but
she stopped and waved at me and yelled, "Be careful!"  Before I could do
anything else, she dropped into the car and slammed the door, and the
car started off.  I waved anyway.

***
17:08 15 Nov

     Not being stupidly insane, I had remembered to get the gloves out of
my jacket and put them on before going home.  It was almost cold enough
to justify them, too, even inside the car.  Or maybe that was the polish
evaporating.
     *Nah.*  Not enough of it there to cool the rest of my hands.  It
was just cold.  With snow, yet.  *I swear, winter starts earlier every
year...*

***
17:16 15 Nov

     "Mom!"  *So much for sneaking past her...*
     "Eugene, what are you doing back?  I thought you were going out
right after the makeup work."  I waited for her to make the connection
and then the 'joke', but she didn't; and I belatedly realized she wanted
a hug instead.  She did remember to go to my left side, at least.
     When she let go, I told her, "Oh, I need to get directions where to
pick one of the girls up, and then refresh where the other one is.  But
we are going out to eat," which seemed like a damned shame at the
moment, because whatever she was fixing smelled terribly good, even
though it was just a single wok-load.  "And I dunno when we're getting
back."
     "You could use some extra sleep, Eugene," commented Mom, feeling it
necessary to state the obvious.  "Why don't you come home after the
thing's over?"
     "Well, I dunno what they want to do."  I had a vague sense of Julia
going out after a concert, which firmed up when I concentrated on it.
"We might go out for kiddie-cocktails or pastries or something
afterwards.  Um, don't save me a plate," I was forced to say.
     "You've got four in the refrigerator," she told me.
     "Ohhhhh..."  And I was going out to spend my own money on food
tonight.  "Yeah, I know...  I'll see if I can eat a couple tomorrow.  Or
at least one," I changed as I remembered that I'd be cooking.
     "And that girl Jill is coming over tonight?"
     "What?  No, Pam; totally different one.  Pam's the taller skinny
one."  Mom frowned.  "What?"
     "Why-  Er, why is Pam spending the night?"
     "Didn't I-  Oh, no I didn't," I remembered; I'd meant to, but
forgot during the crucial seconds in between saying what Pam would be
doing and sending the email, and then it was too late and I had other
things I wanted to do.  "Um, she got in a car wreck, um..."  *Last
week?*
     "Oh no!  Is she okay?"
     "Oh, yeah, she's okay, but the car's trashed.  Some dolt pulled out
in front of her from a parking lot, and she didn't even have time to
blink before the collision."  I was sort of embellishing a bit, because
I didn't want Mom thinking it was Pam's fault.  *Though she could've
been biased...*  On the gripping hand, Pam drove better than most of the
girls did.  "Uh, anyway, her parents are on her case about it, and she
wanted to get away for a night.  The o- uh, the girls are busy or
something tonight..."  I'd almost said 'other girls', which, when
combined with the coat I was still wearing to give me an excuse to be
wearing gloves, started me sweating.  "And Jill stayed here last week,
and she knew about that, and so she asked if she could stay over tonight
and get away from her parents."
     Mom nodded like that made perfect sense, which astounded me,
because it made perfect sense and Mom didn't usually go for that.
     "Anyway, though, I gotta get ready, okay?  So if I don't see you
again tonight," I hoped, and gave her another hug.

***
17:19 15 Nov

     "Pam?"
     "Oh hey Val," she said.  "How about you come- I mean, Julia said
you've been to her house a couple of times?  Do you know- I mean,
remember where it is?"
     "Um..."  I thought about it.  "Not sure.  Can-"
     "Then how about you pick me up instead, if I have to give you
directions?  Remember you said I could stay over tonight?"
     "Oh yeah.  That's all set up," I told her, not mentioning that I
had to change the bedsheets.  That'd be quick though.
     "So that way, you could just take us home whenever, right?"
     "Right.  And what about supper?"  I knew we were going, I just
didn't know where yet.  Luckily, for planning-complexity purposes, all I
required was 'no-smoking section and does not require special tolerance
to certain bacteria'.
     "Oh, right, Julia said she knows this place that's pretty good and
not too expensive if you like Chinese food?  Like a buffet?"
     "I love it.  What about you?"
     "Oh yeah, I mean, haven't you seen me eating at your place?  You
even cook it!" she giggled at me, which I noticed sounded nicer than
Nicole's giggling for some reason.  Maybe it was the phone and its
volume and frequency limitations.
     "Well, true," I admitted, to gain some time to think-  "Hey, did
Debbie call you today?"
     "Yeah, and I gave like twenty- I mean, I pledged twenty.  Debbie
said she got her a really good helmet, like top quality, and a decent
jacket- not just like a stylish one but like a good one."
     "Not that Jill would know stylish if it bit her," I mentioned.
     "Hey!  Well, true," she snickered, "but it was DEBBIE buying it
so...  But Debbie said she went for less style and more protection, you
know?"
     "Yeah.  Good deal."  I was definitely pleased.  "So, um,
directions?  And what time do I pick you up?  Not too soon, though..."
     "Why not?"
     I sighed.  "'Cause I didn't bring the dress stuff to school today,
I left it at home like an idiot.  So I had to come back home, get it,
then go to Rachel's to change and stuff, then I can get you..."
     "Uhhhhhboy okay.  Get going, see ya, bye!"#click#.

***
17:29 15 Nov

     *I am beginning to think that paint- well, I had to do that, but
LEAVING my nails painted was a stupid idea.*  I'd had to sneak out of my
own room to get to the bathroom - at least Brian wasn't here; he'd gone
out with some of his dork friends, and nobody cared when he was supposed
to get back because he knew how to ride a bus.  And I was going to have
to sneak back to my room to dress in enough to stay warm to Rachel's,
and then sort of sneak out of the house with a bag of dress and jewelry
and things.  Plus the nails.
     *You're an idiot.*
     I couldn't deny the charge.  It had SEEMED like a good idea at the
time... but I hadn't asked Mike about it.  That seemed to weed out a lot
of stupidities, when I did it.
     Plus I'd left the stupid bagful of dress and et cetera here this
morning.
     At least I didn't have to wash my hair; but I did have to shave my
legs, which were getting sort of gruesome hairwise.  *And this is the
last blade too...*  I could, theoretically, dip into the trade goods
stock and abscond with a unit of razor blades, but now that I thought
about it I wasn't sure the mountings were compatible.  Single-edged
blades were a lot more generally useful than the wuss disposable double-
bladed cartridge types; so I bet we had single-edged in stock and not
these.
     *Damnit.  What good is survivalism if you can't use it?*  But I
knew the answer to that one.
     I spat heartily several times to get rid of the toothpaste, and
grinned insanely at myself in the mirror, then stuck out my tongue to
check that too.  *Good enough.*

***
17:37 15 Nov

     "Ah, Bri-  You're not Brian," Dad told me.
     "I know that."
     He frowned, which did not make me feel good.  "You're going to the
ballet like that?"
     "Uh, well..."  I hadn't really thought about it until now, but I
hadn't worn anything 'special' to go to Rachel's to change, because I
was just going to wear this to Rachel's to change, and then from
Rachel's back home later.  So it was a couple of plaid shirts and some
pants plus long underwear.
     Dad twitched at something, then ordered, "Come outside."
     I followed him out the front door - I was wishing I'd gone out the
back even though Mom was there - and I shut the door behind me as he
stopped on the porch and turned around.
     "Are you going to that place to change into women's clothes, to go
to the ballet?"
     "Ert."
     Pause, as I tried to think of something to say.
     "Why?"
     Pause, as I tried to catch my breath.  I kept expecting something
to go horribly bad, somehow, but it kept not happening, until I was
finally caught up.  And then it still didn't happen.
     He still hadn't said anything.  I risked a look at him, and he was
just standing there, waiting for me to answer the question.
     I took one last breath, then said, "Dad, I thought about it, and...
the dress shoes I have suck, I don't want to pay for new ones, I HATE
wearing a tie - you know how much of a pain that is - and...  I thought
about it, and the last- or one of the last times I went out with Julia,
to like a recital or something she wanted to go to, everyone thought I
was a dyke on a date ANYWAY."
     "How do you know they thought that?"
     I bugged my eyes out like a few people had done.  "They were doing
that to us.  And I got called 'ma'am' several times.  WHILE I was IN a
suit.  So it didn't help.  And what I thought was..."  He was NOT going
to like this, I could tell.  "Um...  If I was, uh, gonna be taken for a
uh girl anyway, I'd be, um, more comfortable in- in, uh, in like a dress
and stuff."
     I had to catch my breath again, so I stopped talking for a while.
     I tensed up as Dad started to speak, but what came out was, "Need
an inhaler?"
     "Uh..."  That wasn't a bad idea, so I scrabbled in the bag until I
got it and took a hit.
     "Don't talk," he said.  "So...  You're going out to change, into
girls'- women's clothes?"  I nodded.  *One thousand four, one thousand
five-*  "And you're going out with a pair of girls who KNOW you're doing
this?"  His voice was unreasonably steady, almost like Mike's would've
been.  Except Mike wouldn't have been asking questions like this unless
he was going to yell at me for something, and he wouldn't have yelled at
me for this.  Not now.  (Maybe for going out at all tonight, but not for
doing it in girl's clothes)  "And," he continued calmly, "they're fine
with this?"  I nodded again.  "And you're doing this, not because you
have to, or-  Not because they asked you?"  I nodded.  "Or be-  Or doing
it because they asked you to do so?"
     I held up my hand, because I was getting confused at the yes/no
thing and felt it would be better to actually speak, and I was almost
done.
     "Huhhhhhh," I said.  "Um...  No, they didn't ask me, and no I don't
have to."
     "Okay.  So you're doing this because you thought about it, and
you'd be more comfortable in women's clothing?"
     I couldn't answer that, because my throat choked shut, so I just
eventually nodded.
     "In public."
     I nodded.
     "Around all those people."
     I nodded again.
     "Are you going out to eat?"
     "Yeah.  That too.  I just have to be careful with my table
manners," I feebly joked.  "S'not my dress."
     "Sabrina brought you a dress for this," he stated, not asking.
     "Yeah.  I- we weren't sure if I had a nice one, for the ballet,
so... she offered.  And, uh, another girl is going to let me borrow nice
shoes if I need 'em."
     Pause.
     "Eugene," Dad finally said, "do you SWEAR that everything you said
out here is true?"
     "I- uh- I THINK so," I admitted, with shame.
     "What about the thinking about it?"
     "No, I mean, I did that, I really did!" I insisted.  "And nobody
even suggested it this time, it was my idea."
     Dad sighed, and turned away.
     "Dad, I mean..."  I didn't know what I meant, I just didn't want
him to...
     He turned back around, and he looked in such pain I didn't want him
to say anything.  "Eugene, I don't...  I don't approve of this..." he
said hesitantly, thinking very hard.  "But I can't see a reason to
demand that you stop.  You ARE going to be careful, about your safety?"
I nodded, glad I didn't have to try to talk past the lump in my throat.
"Then...  You seem to know what you're... doing," he said after the
pause.  "You do," he said firmer.  "And you... decided to do this
tonight."  He sighed.  "I still don't understand this."
     I managed to choke out, "Dad..."
     He shook his head a bit.  "Eugene...  You're not in trouble, and
I'm not going to tell you not to go tonight, or not to... not to wear
women's clothes," he said, and it seemed to cost him an effort.  It cost
me, twice; once hearing it and once watching him say it.  "Um... you'll
be back at the expected time?"
     I nodded.
     "And, uh, with that girl... Pam?"  I nodded again.  "Is she going
to the ballet with you tonight?"  I had to admit she was, with the
direct question.  He shook his head a bit.  "And you WERE going to
change again before you came home?"
     "Oh yeah," I agreed.
     He nodded agreement.
     Pause.
     "Have fun and be careful," he nodded.
     "Dad..."
     He wrapped me in a hug, which made me tear up like a baby, but I
felt kind of like a baby at the moment.

***
17:51 15 Nov

     "Oh hell."  With the sun sinking, and the snow sticking, driving
was going to turn to shit real soon.  And I did NOT have snow tires.  I
did have chains in the car, but those were iffy... and putting them on
would be a severe pain in the ass.  Worse if me and Pam were dressed
nice.  "Oh fuck."

***
18:04 15 Nov

     "Oh hey," Dave said as I came in, proudly bearing my paper bag of
dress and jewelry.  I was proud because I hadn't forgotten it even a few
steps worth.  *THIS time.*
     *Shut up,* I told myself as I forced a smile at Dave and waved.
'Talking' with Dad had made me later than I wanted, and I needed to
hustle.  Also it had disturbed me a lot, but I did not have time to deal
with it.

***
18:06 15 Nov

     "Oh hey," Rachel said as she looked up from her book.  "I was just
studying for a bit before we went out."
     "Uh, 'we'?"
     "Me and Teri."  She frowned a bit.  "Dave's fun to go out with, but
if you're looking for guys, all you get is gay ones who aren't
interested in girls.  Oh, you're going to the ballet tonight, right?"
     "Yeah-"
     "Do you need me to leave or something?"
     "No, if I can change..."

***
18:18 15 Nov

     "Oh yeah, that looks good," Rachel nodded at me in the mirror.  I
checked, and she was nodding in this plane too, which was good.  Never
hurt to check.
     I turned back to staring at my mirror image.  "You think?"
     "Yeah."
     "Do you think I need blusher or something?  Someone said something
about how I should use it when I'm really dressing nice, like this."
     "Ummm," she considered, staring at me directly.  "I dunno.  You
could, I guess..."
     "But SHOULD I?"

***
18:22 15 Nov

     My black shoes had not been very good with this dress, but Rachel
loaned me a pair of heeled pumps that looked really good.  And a black
coat to go with it, because she was wearing the brown one tonight
because it was bigger.  Sabrina had included a full-length black slip
that fit undetectably under the dress, so I was going to be warmer than
I'd thought, even without my long underwear.  The dress was solid, not
something like gauze, and I hadn't noticed the sort of swirl in the
fabric, which Rachel called 'mwah'.  Had to be French.  And it did have
sleeves of a sort, which she'd called 'cap' sleeves; they were just
enough to cover my shoulders.  She'd loaned me a black sort of gothy
neckband in satin that mostly matched the dress, if you didn't stare at
it from a foot away like I was doing.  Sabrina's earrings worked really
well, though.  And Rachel had also loaned me a matching black satin
purse, which I'd loaded with the bare essentials, like lipstick, powder,
tissues, wallet contents including money, inhaler, the small 7x35 binocs
(on the outside), my G-Shock watch (on the outside), Swiss Army knife,
and keys.  The rest of my usual purse kit would be riding in my usual
purse, which could stay in my car, as could the med bag.
     I stepped back, and looked again, and I thought I looked pretty
damn good.
     And I really needed to get the fuck out of here.

***
18:49 15 Nov

     Pam was waiting outside for me when I pulled up to what I now knew
was the correct address.  Calling her on the cell when I got close had
been a minor stroke of genius, because I didn't have to go meet her
parents, or take the time to do so.
     "Sorry I'm late," I said as she opened the door and got in.  "I
totally fucking forgot to put the dress in the car this morning, so I
had to go home and get it, and then I showered..."
     "So like go already?"
     I did.
     "I know, it like takes forEVER to get ready for something like this
though.  I called her and said you were running a little late, so we're
going to meet her at Jack in the Box.  We do NOT have time to sit down
and eat, even at a buffet.  And they have like finger food, so it won't
drip and mess the clothes up."
     "Oh, okay-  Damn!"  The flash of color from the tips of my fingers
reminded me that I had to go to a store to get some remover.  "Is there
a store around here?  For nail polish remover?"

***
18:54 15 Nov

     I hadn't noticed the store when I drove past, but I'd been busy
concentrating on avoiding mutilation and death, which I thought was a
better thing to do while driving.  "You don't have to come in," I told
Pam as she got out of my car.
     "Yeah but I know where everything is!  C'mon!"
     She trotted faster than I could, but she stopped at the door so I
wouldn't lose her, before going inside.
     And she did know exactly where she was going, because I saw the
makeup aisle first and started to go for that, thinking that's where the
nail stuff would be, but she ignored that and went to the next one and
turned, and went almost all the way to the back wall before stopping and
asking, "So what kind of razor do you use?"
     "Um..."  I was staring and trying to remember.  They didn't label
the packages well.  And this was a different store than Mom had gotten
the previous generic blades at.  "Um... Trac II?"
     "You sure?  You don't want to get the wrong ones," she informed me
like I didn't know that already.
     "Um, yeah, pretty sure..."  I was kind of sure.  I got a pack,
winced at the price - *Maybe I SHOULD go to the single blade version,* I
thought - and stared until I was pretty sure it was a match.  This one
said it was for Trac II, and I was pretty sure that's what the other one
had said, and the dimensions seemed to match.  "Yeah okay..."
     "Okay, let's go..."  She trailed off as she looped around the back
end of the aisle, exposing the meat and dairy section, into the makeup
aisle I'd spotted earlier.  "Cotton balls and acetone, right?"
     And I'd thought she hadn't known the word.  "Right!"
     She snagged a bottle with a quick stoop-and-snatch, but didn't
really slow down, and didn't even do that to get a package of cotton
balls.  "Anything else?"
     "Not tonight," I called, because she was getting ahead of me.
"Wait up!"
     She waited, radiating impatience, until I got closer, and then spun
on her heel and took off again.  I noticed, as I tried to increase my
pace, that we were making a LOT of shoe noise, and I felt kind of self-
conscious about that, because people were looking at us, and most of
them were not dressed nearly as nicely as we were.  Which made sense, it
being Saturday evening and all; if you were Going Out you probably
weren't going grocery shopping first.
     She aimed for a ten-or-less register and slid in ahead of someone
else, and I sort of slid in behind her.  Then my optical recognition
caught up, and I turned around.
     It was, in fact, my therapist Sheila, and she was giving me the
eye.  "Oh hey," I said, feeling self-conscious several different ways.
"We're running late, and I needed to pick up a couple of things tonight
before it got any later, um."
     "Oh that's fine," Sheila smiled.  "We just had to get a couple of
things to go with dinner."  *We?*  I looked past her, and there was a
sort of nondescript guy in nondescript clothes, about ten years older
than me I guessed, holding a grocery basket, who looked sort of mildly
annoyed at having to be in a grocery store at seven o'clock on a
Saturday night.  Or something.  Maybe it was having to hold the basket.
     "You look really nice," Sheila said to me.
     "Huh?  Oh..."  I hadn't secured the coat, and it had a tendency to
swing open, exposing the dress.  "Yeah, a friend of ours invited us to
the ballet tonight, so- and she said we should dress up for it, so..."
     "Oh okay," Sheila said, not saying anything else.  I knew, though,
that she would be saying plenty about it tomorrow, even though she was
smiling now.  "It looks really good.  Do you know what ballet it is?"
     "Uh, no..."  I turned around to ask Pam.
     "It's 'Swan Lake'," Pam told us.  "First ballet of the season.  I'm
Pam, one of Valerie's friends," she said to Sheila.
     "Sheila, and this is Jeff," she said, using a slight turn and a
raised hand to indicate the guy, if we couldn't guess.  Jeff nodded at
each of us, not smiling but at least he didn't look annoyed any more.
     "I'm hoping it'll be good," Pam remarked, "but it's the Cincinnati
Ballet, so it ought to be.  They're pretty good."
     "Oh?  Do you go often?"
     Pam's expression kind of lurched, if you knew what to look for in
her face.  "No..."
     I nudged her to move towards the cashier, then turned back to
Sheila.  "Um, so, like, tomorrow?" I said lamely, looking for a way to
end this conversation before someone got hurt.  Or hurt worse.
     "Uh huh," Sheila agreed brightly, then turned to say something to
Jeff, so I turned to Pam and hoped Sheila would take a hint.  And picked
up Pam's hand, which she grabbed and squeezed.  I managed not to
complain as the pain lanced my wrist, but if Sheila was saying anything
I was gonna miss it.

***
19:01 15 Nov

     "You know," I said to Pam before she could speed out of range, "you
do look really nice tonight."
     That did stop her, and make her turn back.  "So do you!  I love
that dress.  It's Sabrina's, right?"
     "Yeah.  I don't have anything this nice."
     "We ought to take you shopping again soon," she said.
     "Jeez, I don't think I could afford something like this though."
     She shook her head in agreement.  "No- I mean, you could, but it
would hurt; but like Sabrina's dad and like the rest of her relatives
give her a lot, either directly or like money for clothes.  That's why
she gives some to the rest of us; she said if she didn't do that then
she'd just have to give it to a resale shop or something."
     "But wouldn't she get money for that?"
     "Yeah, but then she couldn't get anything back in case like she
made a mistake or she needed it for her grandmother coming or
something," she grinned.
     "Ah so," I agreed.  I'd be happy to give her anything back she
asked for, as long as I wasn't wearing it at the time.  Even that could
be negotiated, I decided.
     Pam continued, "But still, she can get some nice stuff, her and
Debbie..."
     "Um.  I don't think I'm ready to go shopping with Debbie yet."
     "But she could tell you- or us, where to go to get the good deals
though," Pam pointed out.
     "Yeah...  Hey, do you think this'll be okay in the car?"
     "What, the-"
     "The acetone."  I had no idea of its freezing point or if there
were other ingredients that were temperature sensitive.
     "Oh yeah, it'll be fine," she said confidently as we went around to
the passenger side of my car, so I could be polite and unlock her door
first.

***
19:13 15 Nov

     "There's her car," I said as I opened the door for both of us.
     "And there she is," Pam said from behind me.  "Let's order first,
though," she said.
     'Duh,' I didn't say.  At least the lines weren't too long.

***
19:19 15 Nov

     "Jeez, I thought you'd never get here," Julia remarked as she stood
up.  She'd already started, and half finished by the look of it.
     "Me neither!" Pam agreed as she set her tray down and took off her
coat.  I hadn't noticed, with her wearing a coat, but she had very long
black gloves on, nearly up to her shoulder.  "The roads are getting icy,
though."
     I wasn't the only one to catch the gloves, though; Julia said,
"Jeez, it's just the ballet, not Prom."
     "If I can't dance I want to look really good at least," Pam said,
unusually fiercely.
     "You do," Julia stated, very regally, which seemed to deflate Pam
completely.  "But are you going to take them off, to eat, or..."
     "No, they've got..."  Pam demonstrated the opening on the bottom of
the wrist, by unbuttoning the slit, pulling on the glove's fingers, and
then removing her hand through the slit.
     "Oh that's what that's for!"  I'd thought they were just some kind
of fashion stupidity, to show that you could afford help in dressing
because there was no way you could do the buttons yourself.  I'd tried
once in a store, and given up and gotten another type.
     Pam and Julia chuckled at me, but Julia nodded.  "It's glove
etiquette not to have them on when you're eating, but that's what
someone came up with so you don't have to take them off entirely," she
explained, nodding at Pam.  "How can you do them back up, though?"
     She got a mildly distressed look on her face and said, "Uh..."  Now
I got to chuckle back at her.

***
19:49 15 Nov

     We'd eaten lightly and quickly - and without drinking hardly
anything; I'd been warned from both sides of the table about the
bathroom situation.  I'd suggested extra salt...  But we were still
really late, so I sighed and mentally resolved myself to pay for valet
parking.  Again.  The resolution didn't seem to be sticking.
     And while Pam and I looked pretty good, I thought, even comparable
to what I could see other women wearing, the car definitely did not.

***
19:55 15 Nov

     We did look good, compared to other women.  We didn't have as much
flashing gems going as some of them did, or pearls, but we looked
better, I thought, than many.  More 'classic' and less flashy.
     "I didn't mention, but you look really good too," I told Julia as
we waited to file into the seating area.  "VERY, um, adult, if that's
okay?"  She had a long black dress on - which seemed smarter than the
shorter skirts Pam and I had - and lots of chunky silver jewelry on,
which would have made me look African tribal but worked well with her
larger frame and size.  "Not like some freshthing girl at Homecoming
Dance, I mean.  Like you know what you're doing when you dress up
formal."
     She chuckled at me.  "That's fine," she agreed.
     "What did you put in your hair?" Pam asked her.  "It looks really
good."
     "Oh, one is this silver washed torque," she said, which I didn't
think could be right, but Pam didn't object.  "And the other is this
piece I got at a street faire, um...  Anyway, that's a hair- like
spikes?  And then two matching hair clips, which I got two of because I
wanted a replacement in case one broke."  Whatever the pieces were,
she'd somehow made her hair stand up several inches and then put the
metal into it, so it really looked elaborate, almost royal.  And VERY
classy.
     I determined that would be a good thing to say, so I said it.
Julia laughed and blushed and looked away, as Pam nodded, and then
changed the subject.  "Thanks for coming, or I wouldn't have gotten to
come."
     "What's up with that?" I asked.
     "Oh, Dad somehow managed to slip and break his leg last weekend,
and he's not gonna mess up a pair of dress pants by cutting them up to
fit the cast, so he couldn't come.  And Mom didn't want to come without
him.  So..."
     "We really appreciate you calling us," Pam inserted before I could.
All I could do was nod.
     "It's nice to find people who appreciate the arts," Julia smiled.

***
21:31 15 Nov

     "You're not asleep," Pam startled me even though she was
whispering, "are you?"
     I leaned back over on her, and she moved with me, so I could
whisper back in her ear, "Listening to the music."  I watched when I
could remember, and that was kind of neat; but sometimes I wanted to
hear better, and stopping the video related processing allowed more CPU
for audio.  If I'd had a crossbow, with something like curare-injecting
darts for an instant stop if I didn't hit their alleged brains, I'd have
killed several people by now, but even their continued life and
noisemaking wasn't enough to ruin the ballet for me.

***
23:35 15 Nov

     "Julia..."  She turned to face me before I had quite figured out
what I wanted to say.  "That was really...  Really fucking tremendous.
Thank you so much for asking me."
     "Us," Pam amended as she nodded at Julia.
     "Us."
     Julia smiled, and she was radiantly beautiful.

***


"At the ballet, you really feel like you're in the presence of something
outside the rest of your life.  Higher than the rest of your life."
 -- Robert Caro


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+ @>--,--'-----   Ellen Hayes   o===[--------      __      vicki .sig  +
                  -=[1990]=-                       \/      virus 13.4
+      http://www.barkingduck.net/ehayes     PGP key: EFC9 5D55 (1996) +



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