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Tuck It Away -*- Copyright 2007 by Ellen Hayes.

Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual
persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when
used for satirical purposes.

This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and
possibly sex.  If you are legally not allowed to read materials
containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading
this.  I am not responsible.
Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it
in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally
allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish,
state, and country.

All rights reserved.  See the bottom for distribution rights.


Tuck It Away


***
21:08 12 Nov

     "Have you-" Mom started, then restarted, "Maybe you should think
about quitting your job, babysitting."
     "What?"
     "You're so tired all the time, and so busy-"
     "I need the money!"
     "For what?"
     "Fines, for one thing," I sighed, and she frowned.  "Mom, I don't
want to- I mean, I like the money, and I like the pay I get there,
better than here remember?  And it's really not that hard, and I can do
other things there, like- like homework."  I'd almost said 'laundry'
which I didn't want to mention because of where she'd go with that.
     "You're almost never home any more, except on Sundays," she accused
me.
     "I know, but I have to keep going to school, and then the JOB I
actually LIKE-"
     "You could do homeschooling!" she pointed out, a bit late; I'd
forgotten about that option, and I guess she had too.  "We said we'd do
that for you!"
     "Yeah, but you wouldn't- I mean, you couldn't make all my friends'
parents agree to it, could you?  And nothing's really happened to THEM
since I got back."
     "And you think you're the reason for that?" she said skeptically.
     "I think it helps!  I think if something DOES happen I'd want to be
there instead of somewhere else!"
     "But what can you do if something happens?"
     "A lot!"
     I was about to move past her on the bed to remind her about body
armor - I wasn't sure whether I should mention the ASPs or not; she'd
always complained and lectured about me carrying weapon-like things to
school - when she shook her head and pushed me a little.  "No, Eugene,"
she said softly, "Just rest tonight.  We can talk about it later."
     I didn't want to talk about it later; I didn't want to talk about
it.  Of course, if we didn't talk about it now, later might not happen,
at least for this one.
     "And," she mentioned, "you have an appointment with Dana tomorrow,
remember?  And X-rays before that."
     "Ohhhhh..."  Now I remembered.  "Yeah.  Do you know how long it's
gonna take?"
     She shook her head.  "Just don't miss it, okay?"
     "I won't!"
     "Okay, well..."  I think she was torn between doing one Mom thing
and letting me rest, and doing another Mom thing and lecturing me on
something or another.  I think she was starting to realize that Brian
just wasn't enough of an outlet for her, and she wanted to start on me
again.  "Sleep well, alright?  And don't stay up reading," she told me
as she got up.
     "I won't... I'm going to sleep," I lied.  I wasn't as sleepy as I
had been.

***
03:17 13 Nov

     I'd slept almost six hours, instead of four, but it had ended as
badly as they usually did lately.
     *Hey,* I realized, *if sleeping with the girls, or Jill, make me
actually SLEEP, maybe that sleepover in a week or whatever is a GOOD
idea.  Except,* I remembered, *they don't want to SLEEP at a sleepover,
they want to talk.  Aw sh- but they let me sleep late one time, I
think.*  I wasn't quite sure when, but I remembered something like that.
Like they'd all left when I woke up, 'cause it had been REALLY late.
     Also, sleeping with the girls didn't leave me feeling fucked up and
sedated, like the alprazolam did.  Had.

***
06:02 13 Nov

     "Damnit!"  I really didn't want to go to school right NOW; I was
about 90% done with a mix with some added synth I really liked, and I'd
been working on it for an hour.
     *Well, fuck, it's not like I'll get the other ten percent done any
time soon...*  The first 90% of a project took the first 90% of the
time, and the last 10% of a project took the other 90% of the time.
     Still, the concept of 'homeschooling' looked AWFULLY attractive at
this moment.

***
06:57 13 Nov

     Jill asked, "What kind of doctor?"
     "Oh, my doctor... pediatrician.  And radi- X-rays," I translated.
"And I need to get another allergy shot, I think," I remembered.
     "How's everything healing?" Kim asked.  Before I could answer, she
added, "Or is that what the appointment is for, to see how everything's
healing?"
     "Well, yeah, that's it.  Oh hey," I said to Nicole.
     "Oh hey, howzit goin'?" she said distractedly.
     "Jeez, I swear, Tuck, you could've waited before I broke up with
you before you started hitting up on other girls," Jill complained.  I
was going to have a fit on her ass but I saw her grinning when my head
snapped around to aim at her.
     "Bitch!  You're just jealous, anyway," I sneered, and stuck my
tongue out at her.
     "Would you two just fucking STOP?!" Kim demanded, out of the blue.
     I stopped, walking even.  She didn't, just kept going into the
classroom.  Jill shrugged at me.  I didn't have anything else to say
either, so I restarted myself and in we went.

***
07:58 13 Nov

     Getting out of the school parking lot, while everyone was trying to
get in, was definitely a pain in the ass.  Also, I HATED losing my
parking spot, because I knew I'd end up parking in BFE when I got back.
     "And I have to go back later today, to catch lunch if I can," I
reminded myself.  It was a hard temptation, not to come back at all.

***
08:53 13 Nov

     Traffic at this time of the morning was probably why my appointment
had been made for 0900, but it was still a huge pain in the ass.  Both
the traffic getting here and then the wait I was gonna have.
     The receptionist finally stopped bullshitting with the nurse and
came over and sat down.  "Eugene Tucker, nine o'clock," I told her.
     "Please sign the clipboard and-"
     "There isn't one."  I'd thought about signing my name on the
countertop, under the sign that told me what to do with the nonexistent
clipboard, but I'd managed to hold the urge in.  Don't piss off people
with radiation guns, I thought.

***
09:12 13 Nov

     You had to wonder why they even bothered making appointments, if
they couldn't even stick to them this early in the day.  I did.  I did
not come up with a solution, or even a half-decent rationalization.

***
09:16 13 Nov

     "Hey whoa," I said, realizing quite late, though not too late, that
I did not want my laptop irradiated, no matter what they said about how
safe it was.  I didn't want me irradiated either, but I didn't think I
could avoid that at this point.  Well, I could've, but I'd have gotten
in trouble for it.  "Can I put this behind the shield or something?
It's a laptop," I said, "and I don't want to expose it any more than
necessary."
     "Oh, uh, sure, I guess," said the tech, not looking sure about it
at all.  "Just, um..."
     I really did not feel confident about this any more.

***
09:58 13 Nov

     "Hello," smiled Doc Treble's receptionist who was fairly familiar -
too familiar - but whose name I didn't remember.  At least she had a
clue, though.  "All by yourself this time?"
     "Since I got my license, Mom's been real fond of me going by
myself," I told her.
     She chuckled and nodded, and buzzed me into the back so I could
wait in the 'teen waiting area'.  I thought of it more like an oasis of
sanity, because I was away from the screaming babies and the screaming
or happily-shrieking toddlers and their dripping snot and their dripping
diapers and their dripping virii and all the rest of it.  Dealing with
one or two teenagers, sometimes their parents too, was a piece of cake
comparatively.
     Strangely, I'd never had any problems with anyone here.  That
probably deserved some thought, which I wasn't going to give it at the
moment.

***
10:23 13 Nov

     "Hey, sorry I'm late," Doc Treble said; and I believed her because
she often wasn't, not this early in the day.  "Did you get the-" and
stopped as I waved an envelope at her.  I was glad she had set it up so
I could take the films with me; I thought the tech was going to die of
epilepsy when I said _I_ needed to have my own X-rays to take with me.
I think she'd have been less terrified and confused if I'd talked about
torturing her.
     "You don't look well, though," she said.  "Have you been sleeping?"
     "Every day," I smiled.
     It didn't work.

***
10:48 13 Nov

     "Anything else?"
     "Yeah..."  If I could just remember what it was.  "Um...  Oh!
Allergy shot."
     Doc Treble nodded, then asked, "What about testosterone shots?"
     "Um... not today.  I've got too much going on right now, I don't
want to deal with hormones too."  I didn't want another shot, mostly.
My arm already ached from the one I was going to get.
     She snorted.  "Eugene, you're a teenager; you're SUPPOSED to be
dealing with hormones."
     "I don't have the bloody time at the moment.  Later?"
     She thought about it.  "Maybe in a couple of weeks?  You wanna come
in after school or something?"
     That would be bad, with the babysitting.  "I dunno.  I'll think
about it and leave a message on your machine, okay?"  The machine in
question was a nice voicemail system that Dad and I had cooked up; it
worked a lot better than a tape.

***
11:31 13 Nov

     "Tuck!"
     "You can't prove that," I shot back, and Mike grinned.
     "How'd it go?"
     "How'd what go?" Sabrina demanded.  "Where were you today?"
     She sounded really upset or something.  "Did I miss something?" I
asked Mike.
     Sabrina answered, sounding a little calmer, "I was-  With the way
you looked last night, and then you not showing up, I was worried about
you?"  'Duh?' she didn't actually say, but it was there.
     "Just a checkup, to make sure I'm doing alright.  Fucking rad
tech," I remembered.  "Stupid ditz at the radiology place, I wasn't sure
if she knew what the hell she was doing," I told Mike.
     "Dosimeter?"
     I had to shake my head in disgust.  "Ours don't work well with X-
rays, and we can't read film badges."
     "What are you geeking about now?" Amanda grinned at me and Mike.
     "But are you OKAY?" Sabrina demanded.
     "Yeah, pretty much," I admitted.  "Skull's mostly healed, she said,
and the ribs are knitting pretty well."  I just had to hope I wouldn't
develop brain cancer.  I hated being irradiated.
     She nodded.  "Good."  Amanda nodded to that, and then so did Mike,
and I felt a need to do so myself.
     I managed to stop nodding by mentioning, "Hey, did Sabrina tell you
how well she's doing on math lately?"
     "No?" Mike asked, as he looked over at her.
     "It's not-"
     "She said she was making nineties on the tests lately," I said,
smiling again.
     "Cool!" Amanda commented.
     "Tuck's dad," Mike said with another head nod.  "Good deal," he
said to Sabrina.
     "That's really great!" Amanda enthused, apparently warming up.
     "No, it's, I mean, it's not that hard once he explains it..."
     Mike and I looked at each other and nodded, even though my neck was
beginning to get tired.  We'd always thought that 'girls are bad at
math' actually meant 'girls stop paying attention in math class once
they discover boys and makeup, or when they start outpacing the stupid
but popular girls'.  Not that the teachers were good either, not
compared to Dad.
     Amanda and Sabrina started to peel off one direction as we went the
other, but I remembered I wanted to talk to Pam for a second.  "Mike?  I
wanna talk to Pam, ask her about the accident yesterday.  Can you wait
about sixty or ninety seconds?"
     "Yeah, sure," he groaned as he took the handle of my cart and went
to our table.
     "Thanks!" I called at him, before going over to the Pack.
     "Hey, not geeking out today?" Sabrina asked in surprise.
     "I wanted to see how Pam was doing," I said.
     "Oh, she's okay, I think..."
     "Really bummed about the car, though.  And I think her parents were
giving her shit about it," Amanda added.
     "What happened?"
     She shrugged.  "Some fuckhead just pulled out in front of her, she
said she didn't even have time to THINK about putting the brakes on
before she ran into her and someone else was running into her from
behind.  REALLY big mess," she nodded.
     "Would you shut UP about it?!" Pam demanded.
     "Uh," I said, but nobody paid any attention, so I stopped.
     "I was just telling her about it so you wouldn't have to!" Amanda
protested.  "Oh shit."
     "What?"  I shook my head and ignored her.  "Anyway, um."  I told
Pam, "I wanted to find out more, and, um, hope you were okay and
everything."
     "Yeah, I'm okay, if my parents don't kill me," she said, starting
with a smile but fading.  "They're really upset.  I'm trying to talk
them into- I mean, my mother was saying maybe I shouldn't be driving at
all!"
     "What?  Because of-"  She was nodding.  "That's stupid!  How are
you supposed to get any good at it if you don't do it?"
     "What?"
     "You need-"  My chest started buzzing, which startled me until I
realized it was my cellphone.  And before I got it halfway out of the
carrier, I realized it had to be Mike signalling me that I needed to get
back.  "Uh, look, can I call you tonight?  About four?"
     "Sure," she agreed, smiling at me again.
     "Hokay... gotta go geek," I grinned at Sabrina, who mimed - I think
she was miming - putting a finger down her throat.

***
11:37 13 Nov

     "What happened to your arm?" George asked as he pointed.
     "Oh, allergy shot today," I sighed; it hadn't really been hurting
until he reminded me of it.  I shouldn't have taken off my coat.  "I
hate those."
     "You hate everything about modern medicine," George remembered.
     "Except I hate primitive medicine worse," I reminded him.
     "Well don't go off on fucking radiation again, so I don't have to
beat you."
     "What?!  It's-"  He slugged me in the arm.  "Ow!  Bitch!"
     "CHILDREN!" Mike bellowed, which paused George long enough for me
to dodge and sit down away from him.  At least it hadn't been the arm
with the allergy shot in it.
     "He started it!" I whined.
     "Didnotdidnotdidnotdid-"
     Mike dinged the play bell, which shut George up.  "AND!  You're in
the office building, and it smells funny, George, l-"
     "What kind of funny?"
     "I was getting to that," Mike said patiently.  "Don't spazz."
     "We've been getting our asses blown up about twice a week, don't
fucking tell me not to spazz!  What does it smell like?  I'm using my
Sense The Unnatural and then Heightened Senses."
     "Roll 'em," Mike directed, and George did terribly well on the
first and okay on the second.  "Okay, you get a faint, like old, trace
of Wyrm, but it's more than a week old.  And, like, paper, computers,
humans, air conditioning, that kind of office building smell when they
can't open the windows, et cetera et cetera.  And..."  Mike rolled some
dice of his own.  "Damnit, stop cheating with my dice, George," he
complained.  George just chortled, as Mike contemplated.  "'Hanging on
in quiet desperation is the English way,'" he quoted, "but this is worse
than usual.  It's like...
     "Oh, like-"
     "Shut up Kelly," Mike ordered.  Kelly looked vexed but shut up.
"It's worse than usual, way worse.  They've been des- the people here
have been desperate and afraid for a long time, but not like combat,
more like, uh, a drought or something.  Like their environment is
changing but they can't leave the area and migrate someplace else."
     "Monkeys!" George snorted, imitating exasperation.
     "Can I pick up anything?" James asked, and Mike rolled some dice.
He'd taken over Amanda's character when she bailed, and he was getting
good at it.  Proving that it wasn't entirely Star Trek in his brain.  Or
maybe we were corrupting him.

***
12:06 13 Nov

     "Kelly?" Mike cued.
     "Uh, me?"
     "No the other Kelly that's playing," George smarted off.
     "Paul," Mike ordered with a finger flick, and Paul tried to punch
George a couple of times.  "Good minion," Mike approved, even though it
didn't work.  "Kelly, there's a bunch of, well, THINGS, standing in
front of you, stooped over because they are too tall to fit under the
ceiling.  They have tools and things on harnesses.  Do you do anything?"


***
12:14 13 Nov

     Well, it had been sort of obvious since we found Kelly locked in a
closet, but we had to play like we didn't know about Jill or why she was
coming in with a couple of her weirder friends, like Matt, to try and
find Kelly and rescue her from 'whatever'.
     "Vampires are spawn of the Wyrm!" George yelled.
     Which was gonna be the 'fun' part.
     "Interrupt!  Mike, I know what I need to do here, in game, but I
can't do it in five minutes," which was all we had left for lunch, "so
can we do it tomorrow?"
     "Um, sure," he decided, and rang the play bell.  I took the
opportunity to make some notes about what I was going to do the next
time I played.

***
12:21 13 Nov

     "So what happened to Pam?" I asked Kathy when I remembered.
"Anything new, I mean?"
     "Not really.  She said she was gonna try that line you gave her,
about practicing driving and when's she supposed to do it, on her
parents tonight."
     *I said what?  That wasn't me...*
     Then I had the stunning realization that I MUST have nearly walked
into Debbie at some point over there, and I HADN'T REALIZED IT.
     "What?"
     "Nothing," I shook my head.
     "So what happened to you this morning?  Mike said you were going to
the doctor's office?"
     "What?  When?"
     "Aerobics class?  First thing in the morning," she grinned.
     "Mike in..."
     "I KNOW someone told you about this," she assured me.
     "Uh, yeah."  Someone probably had; I was having problems writing
and reading data over the last two months.  I'd have been worried, but
the math and physics were being absorbed just fine; it was the social
and calendar events I wasn't doing well with.
     "So what's up?"

***
15:06 13 Nov

     "We get to go bowling tomorrow!" Ricky told me first thing as he
got into my car.
     "Oh...  Yeah," I forced a smile.  "Tomorrow night."
     "Are you gonna cook first?"
     "Um."  That was a good question.  *First...*  There was something
else I had to do first... "Laundry."  Right, pick up the two dresses
from the cleaners today.  *Do I have enough money?*  I thought I should,
since I hadn't really spent any in the last couple of days.
     "You did laundry yesterday!"
     "Cleaners," I told him just before I started my car.

***
15:19 13 Nov

     "Oh g-  Hold on," I said, and dug in my purse for my wallet.
Obviously, THIS was why nobody did this all the time with their
clothing.

***
15:21 13 Nov

     Putting the two dresses into my car in such a fashion that they
wouldn't get wrinkled or anything, reminded me of doing such chores with
Mike, when his dad had made him church out.  Which reminded me about
wearing suits, which reminded me that I needed to wear one this weekend,
for the ballet thing with Julia.
     *It's not gonna fit,* I realized, *not well.*  The pants, at least,
would be a definite problem.  My ass was definitely overgrown lately.
And I HATED the shoes; my parents had decided that if I wanted decent
dress shoes I could buy them with MY money, or else I could use the
cheapo ones.  Having much better things to spend money on, and
considering how often I didn't wear dress shoes, it hadn't been a hard
decision.  But, then, they sucked when I had to wear them.  They had the
last time I wore them... which was the DJ thing-  *No it wasn't, I had
Mike's tanker boots.*  And someone would complain if I tried to wear
those to ballet.  Mike, maybe.  *It was... when I went out with Julia
that time, to that recital.*  That had worked out very... oddly.
     I was about to shut the door, when it caught me.  *I don't actually
have to wear a SUIT, do I?*  I was, in fact, staring at a nice dress I'd
worn recently, though not for something as formal as a performance; and
the last time, with Julia, I'd been mistaken for a girl anyway.  And a
dyke at that.
     Pause.
     "What?" Ricky complained.
     *I am gonna have to think about this...*
     But I also had to get moving.

***
15:39 13 Nov

     "Hello, Beth Parker."
     "Miz Parker, it's Valerie," I said.  "Everything's fine," which was
always a good thing to say early during an unexpected call, "but Ricky
brought up an interesting question today in the car.  Do you want me to
cook tomorrow night?  'Cause by the time everyone eats it'll be like
eight o'clock, and I don't know what time the bowling place closes.  And
I need to know, 'cause if I am gonna cook I don't want to make it too
heavy if we're gonna be going out after that."
     "Oh," she said.  "Um...  Can we talk about it when I get home?"
     "Oh, sure, no problem.  I just figured, the earlier everyone starts
thinking about it the better, you know?"
     "Oh, yes, definitely," she agreed, which I liked.  "We'll talk
about it when I get home, okay?"
     "Okay bye," I said, because it seemed obvious that she wanted to
get off the phone ASAP.

***
16:02 13 Nov

     I was beginning to realize this would be so much easier if I had a
mask over my mouth, to block Stella's comments.  Or a throat mike might
work, but those were a little hard for other people to get used to.
     "Yeah," Pam continued, and then I lost the rest of it as Stella
squealed again.
     "Let me get rid of the baby and call you back," I said 'blind'
before I hung up.  "Maybe I could tie you to the dog and get rid of both
of you."
     Stella discussed the idea in great detail.

***
16:07 13 Nov

     "Playpen... we have got to get her a playpen," I said to myself as
I looked around the living room.
     "Mom keeps it in the basement," Ricky commented from the
television.

***
16:34 13 Nov

     It had been too much of a hassle to put the playpen up in the front
room, and Ricky had sworn he'd die if I did it too.  So I'd tried
feeding her instead, which had worked okay, and now she was having a bit
of a nap in her crate.  No wonder kids nowadays were fat; their parents
were sedating them with food from the beginning.  I considered feeling
bad about this until I remembered the many times I'd wondered if my ears
were bleeding.
     Alas, this had sort of reminded me I had to start cooking for the
people with teeth.  And I was kind of running low on time, so I had to
start something now, before I called Pam back.

***
16:47 13 Nov

     "Oh you did?" Pam said.  "Great!  I really appreciate it."  She
ought to, with what it cost to get the dress cleaned.  Then again, she
probably knew what it cost.  "So, um, you wanted to go to the ballet
with Julia?"
     "Well, she called and asked me, and said she'd asked you and you
wanted to go, so..."  I shrugged.  "I really ought to be sleeping, but
whattah- um, something like that."  I didn't quite want to say 'want'
about this, but I HAD agreed to go.  "You're going though?"
     "Yeah," she said, sounding... odd.
     "Problem?"
     Pause.
     "It sort of hurts, to see it," she said.  "Like, I could be up
there if I was just dedicated enough, if I-"
     "Wasn't it- I mean, weren't you sort of passing out regularly from
anorexia?  And malnourished?"
     "Well, yeah..."  She didn't sound right when she said that; she
sounded kind of wistful, like she was remembering the good old days.
     "But you look so much better now," I said.
     "Yeah, people say that," she said, as I tried to remember if I'd
even seen her before high school.  I didn't think I had.  "But...  I
mean, I'm working on it still, and, you know, I mean, _I_ know my mental
image of myself is kind of messed up, but..."
     "What?  Like, messed up how?"

***
16:52 13 Nov

     "Anyway, um...  Would you mind if I, um..."  How to say this with
Ricky hanging around...   "If I wore a nice dress, to the ballet?"
     "A nice...  Oh!  Valerie?"
     "Yeah, that's what I was thinking," I said, smiling because she'd
caught it.
     "Are you babysitting?" she guessed.  "Like, right now?"
     "Oh, every day," I sighed.  "Weekday," I corrected.
     "I could tell," she smiled, "by the way you were talking around
things.  I hate that part about babysitting."
     "Yeah, me too."
     "Um, sure, it's fine with me...  Why, though?"
     "Um, it's kind of hard to explain right now..."
     "Call me when you get home?"
     "Uh-"
     "Just for a few minutes," she assured me.  I was sure it was a lie,
but it sounded reassuring.

***
16:59 13 Nov

     "So I was-"
     "Mom's home!" Ricky shouted as he took off.
     "Um, Pam?"
     "The boss is home and you gotta go?"
     "And I gotta go," I agreed.  "Call you about nine tonight?"
     "Okay, bye!"  And she hung up before I could.

***
17:07 13 Nov

     "Well, we could eat out, like afterwards," Miz Parker suggested.
We were ignoring Stella's running commentary, and Ricky was keeping
Hangover occupied by brushing him.
     "Oh, but..."
     "What?"
     "Are you sure Ricky could survive that long?  I guess," I realized,
"I could do something small for him before we go, though."
     "No, wait, I could go out!" Ricky claimed.
     "I couldn't," I told him.  "I got starving real quick, an- when I
was your age, I mean.  And that's like a couple hours past your normal
meal time."
     "But I wanna go out to eat!" he whined.
     "Um-  Hey, could Mister Parker get off work early tomorrow?  That
would solve everything, if he could get out earlier; we could eat first
and then go, or go early before it crowds up," because it was a Friday
night and cheap and so it had to be full of people, "and then eat
afterwards."
     "Well..."
     "It was an idea," I said, though it didn't look like it was a good
one.
     "Ask him!  Ask him!" Ricky demanded.

***
19:07 13 Nov

     Mr. Parker thought about it for a while, then said, "Sure, why
not?"
     I could think of several theoretical and personal reasons why not,
but I kept them to myself.  I didn't especially want to go out to eat,
because I didn't want to spend the money, because I didn't have enough
to meet my fines yet; but that was the plan they'd come up with.  And I
wasn't clever enough, or socially dextrous enough, to figure out a way
to get out of it without hurting someone's feelings.
     And if I did that too much, I'd get fired.
     I was now really beginning to grok why Dad did not like working for
anyone else on a regular basis, no matter what they paid.

***
19:41 13 Nov

     "Oh, no, I think the tickets cost like a bundle," Rachel said.
     "Oh.  I didn't think of that," I admitted.
     "Yeah," she nodded.  "I mean, I'd sort of like to go, but I don't
really have a lot of money to spare right now, and I don't even know if
I could get tickets this late."
     "Maybe you could find a scalper?" I suggested, carefully keeping a
straight face.
     "No, I mean, they'd charge even more," she said, like I'd been
serious.  The idea of a ticket scalper for the ballet was funny, I'd
thought.  Maybe I was wrong.

***
20:58 13 Nov

     "No, it's funny," Sabrina assured me.  She'd stopped a little early
to come talk.  "So... you and the ballet."
     "Just 'cause Julia, you know, she asked me to go," I said.  "Oh,
and, um..."  I needed to call Pam and explain...  "Hey, c'mere a
minute."

***
21:02 13 Nov

     Sabrina was dubious about using a headset, but the wimp phone
worked just fine for her; not surprising, considering how much she used
her own.  And I could use my normal headset and the pickle, like I was
doing.
     "So, I was looking at your dress- oh, which is in my car, hanging
up," I told her.  "And-"
     "Oh, okay.  Sabrina?  Could-"
     "Take you home tomorrow and get it from Tuck?"  At least, that's
what I think Sabrina said; the two of them were duplexing at each other,
and I still wasn't good enough to follow both of them at the same time.
"I mean, tonight?"
     "Yeah."
     "Sure."
     Pause.  I tried to figure out what each of them had actually said,
because it didn't make sense-
     "Val?" Pam said.
     "Uh?  What-"
     "You were looking at my dress," she prompted.
     "Oh, right.  And then I was thinking, hey, the last time I went out
to something like this, was with Julia, and a lot of people were calling
me 'ma'am' and things, and so I was thinking, you know, I could go as
Valerie instead.  And then I'd have better shoes, maybe, and they don't
hurt as much-"
     "What?!" they both complained.
     "Maybe these are too small," I admitted.  "It's been a while since
I got them."
     "Jeez," Sabrina complained, "I mean, you want to wear heels instead
because they're MORE comfortable..."
     "And-  I mean, have you ever worn a tie?"
     "No," Sabrina stated, like she knew she'd never sink so low.
     "Not- I mean," Pam answered, "not like a guy would wear it, tight
against the neck or anything.  I've done a scarf like that though, like
for a 50s costume?"
     "Oh yeah," Sabrina remembered.
     Pam asserted, "That wasn't too bad."
     "Ties are worse, I think," I put in.  "Anyway, but, I wasn't sure
what I should wear, you know?  Guys wear suits and that does it for
everything except a wedding or a prom or someth-  I mean, GETTING
married, you can go to someone else's wedding in a suit.  But, like-"
     "Oh, right," Pam said.  "So like just how formal is it?" she asked
me.
     "That's what I-"
     "Little black dress," Sabrina said with authority.  "That'd work."
     "Do you have one?  Val?"
     "I think so..."  I wasn't sure; I'd have to look.
     "Want me to pick something out?  Val?" Sabrina asked me.  "Just in
case you can't find something?"
     "Oh jeez, would you?"
     "Are you sure it'd fit her?  Val, what size are you right now?" Pam
interjected.
     "What?  I don't know!  I think I'm gaining weight, th-"
     "How much?"

***
21:06 13 Nov

     "One hund-"
     "Oh!  Uh, how much?" Sabrina asked, not quick enough to keep me
from getting suspicious about what she'd been talking about when I was
out of the room.
     But I decided to let it go.  "Um, one hundred and twelve pounds," I
sighed.  I'd thought I was doing better than-  "Hey, I need to eat."
     "No shit," Sabrina said like that was completely obvious.  "Did-"
     "I think Mom saved me a plate..."  Maybe.  *Is she still doing
that?*  I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten at home...
     "Well go get it!" she insisted.

***
21:10 13 Nov

     Mom had saved me something from tonight, but there were other
plates in there, and I felt bad.  Twice, because I was going to have to
get rid of dead food if I didn't eat them all, and there was no way I
could eat like four meals at once.

***
21:14 13 Nov

     "No, I eat before I come over here," Sabrina said, smiling at me.
I KNEW she was up to something, and paranoia said it was about me and I
wouldn't like it, but I really couldn't prove that.  I wished like hell
I'd somehow set the phone up to record onto disk...
     "Eat!" she pointed.
     "Wh-  Oh, right."  That's why I was holding a tray of food things.
     "Anyway, I've gotta get going...  Hey, get some sleep, right?"
     "Before or after I eat?" I joked.  "I will!  I will!"  I'd always
thought 'Jewish mothering' involved more whining and guilt than looking
like she was about to throw something or kick me or something.
     But she smiled at me.  Then she frowned.  "Actually, wait a minute,
and come get the dress out of your car."
     "Oh, right.  Can I give you two?" I realized.

***
03:39 14 Nov

     "Jeezus."  I'd forgotten or missed or whatever, that Thanksgiving
was coming.  Next week.  Which meant that all of Mom's relatives were
coming, next week.  And staying at our house.  Which meant, Mom was
about ready to go into a complete cleaning fit, and we'd be doing things
like wiping dust off the tops of the doors.  And, later in the week,
cooking like madmen.  With an overcrowded kitchen.
     At least I had some warning, via email.  I wished I'd had more, so
I could run away for a month, but I'd bet that was why they didn't.
     "Ahhhhman!"  And, apparently, _I_ was going to be thrown into the
maelstrom this year, too.  Again.  "DAMNIT."  The atmosphere got Really
Tense in there at times, what with old stuff, cramped quarters, and hot
things.
     "Oh, hey..."  If Mom wanted me to make a pie or six this year,
which the email said she did, then maybe I ought to practice a few
times.  Mike and them could dispose of a pie or three on Sunday,
especially if I warned them to bring their own Tupperware, but I could
also do it at the Parkers, and get some brownie points.
     "Heh."  That was kind of funny.
     And I was kind of tired.  But I was NOT going back to sleep.

***
06:56 14 Nov

     "Oh, just the usual...  Plus I ate breakfast today."  I HAD to get
rid of some of those plates in the refrigerator, and if I ate them (or
the food thereupon, really), Mom wouldn't be so pissed or upset or
whatever it was when she got all over my ass about eating.
     "Bowling tonight, right?" Jill asked.
     "Wh-  Is it Friday already?  Damn..."  I thought I'd have more time
than that.  And I sure as hell wouldn't be able to... well, maybe I
could.  No, I couldn't; the Parkers would NOT have the ingredients, and
I couldn't go grocery shopping and then cook and THEN go out to eat, all
by the time Mr. Parker was supposed to get home tomorrow.
     Today.
     "Are you coming?" Kim complained.
     "Yeah... Oh, hey, I need to beg off Sunday breakfast," I
remembered, as I started walking.  "Julia got me to go with her to the
ballet, Saturday night, and I'm cooking Sunday... and I've got therapy,"
I said after checking to make sure there wasn't anyone close enough to
hear, "because of all the makeup nail stuff I'm doing Saturdays.  So I
was kind of hoping to get some extra sleep in."
     "Did you still want to do a sleepover on Thanksgiving weekend?"
     "What?"  *Was it-*  "Oh shit, no," I realized.  "Our house is gonna
be like FULL of relatives.  Sleeping there.  There is NO WAY..."
     Kim nodded.  "Yeah, I thought so... Amanda's kind of a dumbass
about holidays sometimes, since it's just her and her mother."
     "Aw man!" I said enviously, about the time Jill said something else
for the same reason.
     "Hey, like tell me about it, I've got my sister, AND her 'fiance'
coming this year..."  Kim sounded utterly disgusted, which was about how
I felt.  Mom's relatives were not nearly as cool as Dad's; I thought it
might have something to do with the relative skin colors.

***
07:58 14 Nov

     "So, like, I was thinking of practicing some, wi-"
     "Pies?"  George had apparently woken up.  I guess the talk of pies
stimulated his hindbrain into stimulating his cerebrum.  Such as it was,
anyway.
     "Bring like Tupperware or something and you can take some home.  No
container, no takeout," I warned.  Pies were a mess to transport, and
conversely Mom was spastic about our house's Tuppers.  They had a
regrettable tendency not to come back in a timely fashion.  "But I
should make plenty."
     "Like how many?" Mike asked, right before George did.  Dan didn't,
but he WAS paying attention.
     "Four?"
     "Six," Mike said, almost instantly.
     "I can't-"
     "It won't take any more time, an-"
     "Yes it will!"
     "I'm sure you can get some helpers, though," Mike nodded as he
tried to grab George, which didn't work.
     "I don't know if that works with pies, though," I thought.  "The
crust is the hard part, not the filling.  Besides," I remembered with a
sigh, "we gotta do cleaning.  I may not have time Sunday," I realized.
     "We could help some other way," Mike offered.  "For pies."
     "Yeah," Dan agreed, and nodded at me.
     *Oh.*
  
***
10:43 14 Nov

     "So you're going to the ballet tomorrow night?" Amanda confirmed
as we clotted temporarily in the halls.
     "Huh?  Oh yeah, tomor-"  I turned to Sabrina.  "Did you give Pam,
uh-"
     "This afternoon.  And I picked out a dress, I think.  Are you
okay?"
     "Uh... I think there's more going on than I can keep track of, and
so it all gets jumbled up.  Or the days are going by quicker than they
used to, like during summer."
     She nodded.
     "Oh, hey, Amanda?"  She stopped talking with Mike and looked over.
"Um, sleepover?"
     "Oh, yeah, I was gonna say something about that.  I didn't think it
was Thanksgiving weekend, and so..."  I was nodding, and she started
nodding as she stopped talking.  "Yeah," she said with finality, like
we'd actually had the discussion.  "What about the weekend after?"
     "Sure," I agreed.  It was going to happen despite anything I
could do to try and stop it; I could admit that now.
     "But you're still making pies Sunday, right?" Mike worried.
     "Pies?" "What?" the two girls asked.  "Like what kind of pie?"
Sabrine asked.
     "Uh... what kind would you like?  Although, I might not have time,
we gotta clean and stuff...  George said he'd help clean, though, if he
could get some pie out of it.  And if I can spend all my time on Sunday
baking, then I could make a lot of pies.  Um, so, what kind did you
want?"  I felt guilty and soiled for using Debbie-fu on them like this,
but it was too good an opportunity to pass up.
     The bell rang before she could answer, but she nodded at me like
she was going to think about it.

***
11:35 14 Nov

     After the bell rang, and we started putting stuff together, Mike
said, "Hey, Tuck, remember you were going to do something, gaming,
yesterday?"
     "Wh-  Oh, yeah..."  And I'd taken notes on it too, but they were on
the laptop, which I'd just closed.
     "Look at it when you get there, okay?  Hey, you know, maybe you
should get a Palm Pilot like your dad or something, to keep track of
your life."
     "Oh ghu, like I need MORE personal electronics?"
     "You need to figure out a way to combine everything," he grinned at
me.
     "Oh, sure, in my copious free time," I groused.  "Come up with a
new consumer grade electronic device, find someone to manufacture it,
then-"
     "Get Debbie to do the hard part," Mike suggested.  "All you'd have
to do is the hardware and software."
     "Hrm.  Except for the Debbie part, you have a point," I had to
admit.
     "She's good at that-"
     "But I don't want to deal with her.  Not that close, that long."
It would be long...  "And that assumes that there won't be any must-
have gadgets developed in the meantime," I realized.

***
11:41 14 Nov

     I had just sat down and started to unpack again - this was a real
pain; why couldn't they move the teachers and other stuff around while
we sat in our desks the whole time? - when Julia and Pam came over.
     "Hey Tuck," Julia said, and Pam waved, but she didn't look happy.
     "'Sup?"
     "C'mere for a minute," Julia beckoned.  I sighed, and got up, which
took a while, and went over.  *I don't know why everyone wants to make
this hard... maybe I'm not complaining enough or something?*  Maybe I
should've asked Doc Treble to give me a wheelchair license.
     "I had a favor to ask you?" Pam asked, or pre-asked.  "Um...."
     "She wanted to-"
     "I can ask!"
     "-if she could come over to your house Saturday night, after
ballet."
     Pam huffed at Julia, but explained, "I am sick of my parents right
now, and Jill said your folks were okay with one girl spending the
night?"
     "Uh... I think that was for something else..."
     "And we didn't want George to hear this," Julia said, wrinkling her
nose.
     "Oh god!" Pam exclaimed as she crossed herself.
     "He's not... never mind."  He wouldn't actually DO anything
severely antisocial, but he'd blather about it until you wished he would
do something, ANYTHING, and just shut UP.
     Julia nodded grimly at me.
     "Would it be okay?  I just, I mean-"
     "She needs some time away from them.  And my parents don't like
people spending the night," Julia said.
     "Hum.  Okay, I guess...  I've got the bunk bed, but you'll have to
sleep on the top.  Or sleep with me," I warned.  "I'm better but I still
need the bottom one in case I have an asthma attack or something."  Plus
the alarm and everyth-  "Oh hey," I remembered, "I was planning to
practice making pies on Sunday, afternoon, so-"
     "Oh really?"  They both looked kind of interested at that.
     "Yeah, but with Thanksgiving coming, I've got so many chores..."
     "What kind of pie were you thinking about?" Julia asked.
     *Maybe I won't have to do ANY cleaning this year...*

***
11:52 14 Nov

     Fuck, I was tired of arguing.  George was taking the not-entirely-
unreasonable tack that Vampires Were Of The Wyrm, and therefore they
should be killed whenever we found one.  Or three or four at once.
However, on the one hand it was obvious Mike had worked to fuse both
groups together, and on the other hand we, vampires and werewolves both,
DID have some reason to hate Pentex and the rest, and on the gripping
hand we, werewolves, needed all the friends, allies, contacts, favors,
and acquaintances we could rack up, because we were getting very alone
here.
     Of course, it was possible that Mike was setting us up, with
something like a Wyrm-friendly deal with Jill, that he'd arranged out of
our sight.  But I didn't think so... and I sort of had the feeling that
wasn't the story Mike was telling anyway.
     Now 'all' I had to do, was to convince, not just George, but
George's character.  And George LIKED arguing in situations like this.
     "Uh, guys?" Mike said, and I stopped.  Thankfully, so did George.
"Remember your totem?"
     "Aw, man!" George complained.
     Mike was nodding.  "She appears to you, and nods in the direction
of Kelly, and then fades away.  Seems to you like she didn't have much
in the way of energy or time, maybe that's because you're in a Wyrm
lair, but she-"
     "She manifested?  In here?" Book asked, but I think it was
rhetorical.  Mike nodded anyway.  "My friend," he said to George, "if
the totem of our pack, Blessed Danaa, uh, went to the trouble of forcing
her way in here, can I say that better?" he asked Mike.
     "Uh.  Assume you did," Mike nodded.
     Book turned back to George.  "Then it must be important, and she
must know something about these vampires that we do not.  She would not
mislead us!"
     Since Book was sort of the shaman of the group, and George's
character had a sort of superstitious dread of shamans - or maybe they
were one of the few things that could still yell at him and make him
feel like a puppy again - he was going to have to listen.
     His semi-panicked argument showed he was listening even though he
didn't want to.  Or maybe he was just afraid the arguing was going to
stop.
     *That was unkind,* I realized, a while later.  *Still could be
true, but unkind.*  I debated caring about this issue, and decided not
to.

***
12:17 14 Nov

     Mike rang the play bell, and I moaned in relief.  And almost put my
forehead into my laptop, because I REALLY wanted a nap.
     "Hey, Tuck?"
     I just groaned at him.
     "I had a thought-"
     "Nooooooooo!"
     He slapped me in the head, but lightly.  "Shut up."  As I sat up,
and shut up too I guess, he was shaking his head.  "Never mind.  Pack
up...  And is tonight still on?"
     "Toni-  Oh, yeah, I think so.  S'far as _I_ know."
     He nodded.  "Good."
     I could argue the point, but I was too tired.  George had worn me
out.

***
13:11 14 Nov

     When Paul hooked up with me in the hall - I had to admit, this
mutual-protection thing seemed to be working - he asked me, "Were you
serious about cook- I mean, baking pies?"
     I managed not to dance with joy, or shriek in excitement - Stella
influence - that he was interested.  "Yeah, but, you know how it is when
the relatives come over, and they are definitely coming over for Thanks-
giving," I carefully sighed.  "I don't know if I'll have time to cook
AND clean.  Mom goes nuts when family's coming, about the house."
     "Oh."
     "Yeah, but... I was thinking- George said he could help with some
of the chores, at my place, and if enough of 'em get done maybe I could
get free for a few hours?"  That was an incredible lie, but I didn't
think he knew George well enough to figure that out.

***
15:05 14 Nov

     "Bowling!"
     "Hey yeah," I smiled.  I was feeling so good about getting the
chores done with food-enslaved labor, that I could even withstand the
bowling thing.  Or at least I didn't want to cry just thinking about it.

***
15:39 14 Nov

     "Because you just have to take H- the dog out for- so he can use
the bathroom."  The inexplicably bad traffic on the way home had rattled
me more than I thought it had, I guess.  "He needs to go, and we're not
going to be home later tonight, remember?"  *Happy, happy... think of it
like a company Christmas party.*
     *No, don't,* I realized, because it made me feel all resentful,
like having to deal with the crap I'd have to deal with this coming
weekend and week because of another holiday 'party'.

***
15:48 14 Nov

     "Valerie?"
     "We're here!" I called back, as Ricky yelled, "Mom!"
     Now, we just had to wait for Mr. Parker, and we'd be 'all set'.  I
still wasn't sure why I was being made to go out to eat... unless they
had thought I might take the opportunity to 'get lost' or something and
not show up for bowling.
     *You're being too paranoid about this,* Mike said in my head.
     Which reminded me, I needed to call him to see if he was going to
come out to eat with us first, and pick Jill up after that; or something
else.
     "Hello," Miz Parker said, rather formally.
     "Oh hey, almost all ready... did you want to feed Stella, or did
you want me to do it?" I asked.
     "Oh, I can feed her," she said, smiling at Stella.
     Stella began to wail.

***


"It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence
every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget
children is a natural urge."  -- Phyllis Diller


Distribution:
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+ @>--,--'-----   Ellen Hayes   o===[--------      __      vicki .sig  +
                  -=[1990]=-                       \/      virus 13.4
+      http://www.barkingduck.net/ehayes     PGP key: EFC9 5D55 (1996) +



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