-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- Situation Normal - All Tucked Up Copyright 1997 by Ellen Hayes. No part of this work may be distributed as an original work by another person or group. Permission is given to redistribute this by electronic means, as long as the entirety of the work is distributed, and credit is given to the original author, me. Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when used for satirical purposes. All rights reserved. Furthermore, This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and possibly sex. If you are legally not allowed to read materials containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading this. I am not responsible. Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish, state, and country. Situation Normal - All Tucked Up *** 11:38 23 Jan It was weird having lunch with the Pack, and listening them talk about boys and stuff like that. I didn't have much to say, but they didn't tease me as much as they used to. I guess I'd gotten something like diplomatic immunity or something. What was also cool was, a boyfriend or someone would come up to talk to one of them, and they'd see me, right in the middle of everything, and they'd give kind of this double take, and then whoever they had come over to see would pull them away so the two of them could talk. And there I'd be, right in the middle of things still. It was sort of like having half a dozen girlfriends at one time. *** 11:34 27 Jan "Tuck! Tucker!" Debbie sounded really upset. I turned around, and she was running towards me. "What's up, Deb?" She looked _really_ upset as she ran up and grabbed me by the arms. "Come on, we need you, you gotta help us out-" "Wait, what-" "Tucker, please!" she begged me. "Just come on!" *** 11:37 27 Jan It was cold outside, but private. I huddled inside my jacket and waited for the explanation. *** 11:38 27 Jan "He _raped_ her?" Debbie nodded, looking sick. "That's why she's in the hospital. She tried to kill herself, sliced her wrists all to shit. They're trying to fix the damage to the tendons, that's why she's in there." "Well, what do you want us to do?" asked Kathy. Debbie stopped agitating, and stated, "We gotta make him pay." She looked like she was about ready to assassinate him. I'd never seen Debbie like this. Someone was gonna get hurt. "So what do we do?" asked Kathy again. "We need to figure out how to hurt him, 'cause the motherfucker is never gonna make it a to trial, and since Ellen was on antidepressants before, they'd just say it was delusions and shit, so he'll get off." She slammed her fist into her hand. "I've _seen_ this crap, they'll rip her to pieces if it went to a trial, and she's already tried to... end it, once, she can't handle going to court, so nothing's gonna happen to him. Except, he's _not_ gonna get away with this shit," she said in this ominous low voice. *** 11:40 27 Jan Ellen was an okay girl, I guess. She'd gone out with me a couple of times, and while there hadn't been any, well, sparkle, we'd been friendly enough since then. She was sweet, she just needed someone more normal than a geek. The thought of some guy... it made me sick, is what it did. And mad. Real mad. As mad as Debbie. And I hated Frank's guts all on my own. Of course, he'd only beaten me up a lot. It wasn't quite the same. *** 11:41 27 Jan "Wait, are you serious about _hurting_ him?" I asked. Everyone turned on me like I thought they would, and I shouted back, "WAIT! If you are, I know how to do it!" "How?" asked Jill, a dangerous look in her eye. "I can't get anyone to beat the shit out of him," I said, "but what would hurt him the most, more than a beating, is if you killed his car." They all looked at that, tasted it, found it edible enough to listen. "It's about thirty thousand dollars, and you can see how he keeps it clean and waxed and shit, custom stereo, the works. Nail that, and he will _know_ he's been hit." Frank was the unfortunate offspring of parents who had too much money and too much concern for appearances. He was handsome and charming enough to lure suckers in, just smart enough not to get caught, and rich enough to buy silence. Most of the time. Debbie thought about it for a minute, and got the nastiest grin I had _ever_ seen on her face. "Do you have any ideas about how to do this?" "Yeah." A theoretical discussion I'd had with Mike and Dan was fresh in my mind. "I do." *** 15:12 27 Jan It was gonna take some work, but I bet I could do it. *Thank God my dad's a geek too,* I thought, as I stole about ten thousand dollars worth of electronics out of our basement. *I'd never be able to pull this off otherwise.* *** 16:03 27 Jan "So?" She was skeptical. "So hit the button, and keep hitting it until I tell you to stop, okay?" The first step was in cracking the alarm system. It was one of those factory radio-controlled jobs. Luckily, I knew some people who I probably shouldn't. Geek people. And Debbie knew someone who had the same kind of car. I saw a hit on the 'scope. "Wait, stop. Okay, do it again now." She did it again. Same blip. "Okay, lemme write this down...." *** 16:29 27 Jan I met Brian right at the door as I came in. "Remember, you said you'd keep your mouth shut." He rubbed his fingers together, and I handed him a ten. "So," he said casually, "taking a study break?" He could be an asshole, but he also knew which side his bread was buttered on. Mine. If I paid him. *** 22:18 27 Jan Time to start burning the midnight oil. This was what Dad called "crunch time," and I was going to be crunching a lot. *** 04:09 29 Jan It worked, finally. "Oh, God," I moaned, as I looked at the clock and it hit me like a hammer. "I gotta get some sleeeeeeep." Two days worth of this was just about to kill me. *** 15:18 29 Jan "Drive around and look for another one." I swigged some more Dew, which was the only thing keeping me upright today. "Tuck, don't you think security will notice?" as she drove. "They never notice shit unless they're right there. Security guards are about as dumb as sheep. Sometimes dumber." Not that I knew that from experience. Haha. *** 15:26 29 Jan The flashing red light went out inside the car. I looked around, really carefully, then leaned against the front fender, and shook the car with my body. Nothing. Debbie leaned up against the other side, and we made it almost dance. Utter silence. She looked at me, wide-eyed, and I gave her one of her grins back. "Let's go put this stuff back in your car," I said, rubbing my hands. "Wouldn't want it to get stolen..." *** 15:34 29 Jan "Ellen?" Oh, God, she looked awful. The worst part was, they had her arms strapped to the rails, in casts. When she looked up at us, I almost cried myself. Debbie saved me the trouble. "Tucker?" Ellen whispered. "Debbie? Oh, no.... go away... please..." *** 16:22 29 Jan "So?" Brian was a leech. I dropped another ten into his hot sweaty little hand. "Didn't know you were home," he said casually as he made the ten-spot disappear. *** 04:31 31 Jan The flash of the phone woke me up. "H'lluh?" "Tuck?" It was Debbie. That woke me up. "Yuuhhheah? What's up?" "It worked." She sounded very happy. "Wha- oh. Ohhh...." I chuckled. "I got pictures, I'll show 'em to you tomorrow before I trash 'em." "Cool. Miss you." "Me too. Anyway, I gotta go, so see you tomorrow? Kisskiss." "Bye." She hung up, and I went back to sleep very very happy. *** 15:18 31 Jan "Ellen?" She was more awake than last time. "Wassup?" Not much more, though. They had her pretty well doped out. Debbie walked up to the bed while I kept watch on the door. She said quietly, "We thought you might like to see these..." and pulled out the Polaroids of Frank's car, being pulled out of the old quarry. Her mom had gotten her copies. "Nobody can figure out who would have done something like this," Debbie said innocently. "I mean, he had a car alarm and everything. It's just really strange." "It would have taken a professional to break the alarm," I added, "but then why wouldn't he have stolen the car?" I shook my head. "Very strange." "And then they set it on fire, too," Debbie mentioned. "Very sad." "Very sad," I echoed. I felt very very good. *** 07:56 3 Feb "Hey, Tuck, you hate Frank Donner, right?" Mike asked me. "Uh, why?" I dodged. "Somehow, he ended up getting the hell beaten out of him and handcuffed to a jungle gym totally stark naked. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" "No," I said honestly, "this is the first thing I've heard about it. Though it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Heheh. Heheheheh BWAHAHahaahaha!!!" I hoped Debbie had pictures of _that_. *** 08:04 6 Feb Mike said, "We were gonna start a game at lunch, if you wanted to play." "Oh yeah, that'd be cool." I hadn't been adventuring in a long time. "Why at lunch?" "'Cause somebody got your ass grounded-" "That was _not_ my fault-" "Hey, chill out, okay? I said SOMEONE got your ass grounded, not who it was. Anyway, make up a character tonight, and I'll look over it tomorrow, okay?" "Fantasy? Magic? What?" "125 points, 40 disads, tech three, magic but no psionics, and any race you come up with, I'm gonna pre-approve." That meant he'd check it over first, darnit. "Okay. When are we playing?" "Tuesdays and Thursdays at lunch. I _think_ we have a place set up we can get away from everybody. Maybe." *** 11:42 6 Feb "...So I'm going to be busy at lunch Tuesdays and Thursdays." I felt sort of bad telling them this. "Like all the time?" Kim asked sadly. Debbie and Kathy made faces. Now I definitely felt bad. "Well, I mean, they're my friends too, and I don't want to give them up just because I got all of you." "Well, but..." Kim got lost in thought. "What's this stuff like?" Kathy asked. I looked at her, and she was curious, not like she was gonna make fun of me. "Well, it's-" I started. Sabrina interrupted, "Oh, come _on_, you're not gonna go play with those _geeks_, are you?" Sabrina was, in general, allergic to geeks. I was surprised that I hadn't made her break out in hives yet. Kathy shrugged. "Why not? I can always quit, and it might, just _might_ be fun, or something." She looked at me. "Unless your little geek buddies have a problem with girls playing?" she challenged me. I felt sort of mad for an instant, I mean, where did she get off? But then I realized she hadn't included me in that, so it was like my friends that might be uncool, and not me. Which was kind of a weird compliment. So I said, "I'll make sure they don't. If you want to play, I mean." Kathy shrugged. "Like I said, whatthehell." "Could I play too?" Kim asked. *** 11:53 6 Feb Mike looked at us. "How many of you want to play?" he finally managed to ask. "Everyone except Debbie and Amanda," I said, sort of being the ambassador. "They've got too much to do over lunch to make a commitment, but they said they might be interested in helping out in the roleplaying, like for adversaries or something. And Sabrina just wants to watch." "Just how geeky is this?" Sabrina asked suspiciously. "Ever play pretend?" Mike asked back, preparing to launch one of the standard explanations at her. "This is pretend with rules. As few rules as possible, but without all the arguing that you used to do as kids." They seemed to get the point. *** 11:42 11 Feb Mike rung the little desk bell which said, Play time! "Okay, did you all read your background sheets?" Everyone had, so he went on, "Okay, after the Red Lightning mercenary company disbanded due to lack of funds, you guys decided to stick together. Having made it this far, you've been hanging out at this tavern, trying to find work which has been too scarce for words, when someone comes in, smelling of money." "I like money," George mentioned, and we all nodded. *** 12:15 11 Feb Mike's watch alarm went off, and he said, "Well, that's it, we gotta put it on hold for the day. We gotta gets books and stuff." The girls complained, even Sabrina, a little. *** 15:03 12 Feb "Well?" She opened the trunk of her car, and showed me what she'd gotten me. It was still in the box, otherwise I would have had no idea what it was. "A rope ladder?" She leaned towards me and explained what good a rope ladder was. *** 17:22 12 Feb I'd just about finished rearranging my room when my mom got home. *Oh thank God,* I thought as I collapsed on the bed. I needed the break, and this was something I didn't want them hearing me doing. They might ask why. *** 22:47 14 Feb "Hello?" "Hi, lover," Debbie said over the phone. "Hey, whatsup?" "Ready?" "Almost... how long'll you be?" "Maybe ten minutes. I'm up here at the corner store. Want anything?" "Only you." She giggled. "Be there in a few, then. Kisskiss." And she hung up. *** 23:02 14 Feb I was glad I'd thought to pad the window area with blankets and pillows, so I could keep the sound down. She was heavier than my arms could handle, impending romance notwithstanding. "Come on, just a little..." She took a breath, then grabbed my hands as I braced against the wall, and slithered through the window into my room. When we got up, she dusted herself off as I hauled the rope ladder in as quietly as I could, and shut the window. When I turned around, she gave me a kiss. "Hi, lover," she said seductively. "Happy Valentine's Day!" *** 02:13 15 Feb "No, sweetheart, you can't take a shower at this time of night. My parents would figure something was up." "But I'm all sticky," she whispered into my ear. "And I smell." "Delightful!" I tacked on. She gave me a kiss that would have gotten me up if there was any up left in my body at all, which there wasn't. *** 02:19 15 Feb "Do you have any shampoo?" she whispered into my ear as she soaped my back. "Just cheap stuff," I whispered back. "I guess I can skip it, then." I just hoped my parents wouldn't wake up, or that they would believe that I'd had a sweaty nightmare if they did wake up. *** 07:56 17 Feb "Hey, Tuck," Debbie asked, "you're paroled tomorrow, right?" "Yesssss," I sighed. "Finally." "Wanna go out Friday night?" "Love to," I leered. *** 16:01 20 Feb "Good afternoon," said Debbie in a very professional sounding voice, "and thank you for coming!" "Now," she continued, walking around a little, "I know that Mary Kay is sort of a big joke to everybody, but they really do produce some superior products, in my opinion. And I brought my boyfriend here to prove it!" She flourished a hand at me, and I smiled. On cue. Everyone laughed. On cue. *Well,* I thought, *at least I'll have some money for Friday night.* Rachel waved to me from the audience, and I waved back. *** 16:42 20 Feb "Hey, how's it going?" Rachel asked as I took down her order. "Oh, you know, the usual." I looked up at her. "Sorry I haven't called, but I've been grounded for a month." She whistled. "Yeah, Debbie said you had, when I called her to see if you two wanted to do lunch or something, but she wouldn't say why. She said I had to ask you." I sighed, leaned back, and stretched. "Well, I sort of ended up staying out all weekend, almost." Rachel raised her eyebrows, and pointed at Debbie. "Yeah, and then we went clothes shopping, ugh, and then we went to a party at a friend's house, and then it was Sunday and I was hosed." "Oh, man, bad deal. Oh, who do I make the check out to again?" "D and E Personal Services," I told her. "So how's Valerie doing?" she asked as she wrote, and I almost freaked until I realized that it sounded like a normal kind of question. "Ah, well, um, she's mostly why I stayed out so late. She and Debbie's friends got along real well." Rachel nodded. "So how have you been?" I asked. *** 17:45 20 Feb "Tuck!" Debbie called. "Could you start packing up the stuff, hon?" "Yeah, no problem." I was getting a little more enthusiastic about doing this once I realized how little money I was getting without Mary Kay supplementing my income. Rachel asked, "So, anyway, what else can it do?" "Well, they got me one with drum pads..." I could talk about my music stuff all day. *** 18:03 20 Feb "Oh, man, I'd love to do supper, but I promised I'd be home this time," I explained. "My mom is like having a shitfit, she thinks I'm gonna run off to Costa Rica or California or something now that I'm not grounded any more." Mom was strange. "Well, let's call her," Debbie suggested. "Why?" Not like I was suspicious or anything. Haha. *** 18:07 20 Feb "Well, she said it would be fine with her," Debbie remarked as she hung up the phone. I was becoming convinced that Debbie could sell ice to Inuit. *** 18:22 20 Feb "So what did you get?" "You mean, what did I buy, or what did I end up with? Sabrina cleaned out her closet on us," I explained, "and some of the stuff got traded around and stuff. Tell the truth, I have no idea what half of it is." We all leaned right then left as Debbie zoomed around a Cadillac. "We got a couple of big trash bags full of decent stuff," Debbie added. "I'm still trying to sort it out." *** 18:34 20 Feb "Hi folks!" I said like I meant it as we came in. "Mom, Dad, this is Rachel, and you know Debbie. Rachel, these are my folks, Mister and Missus Tucker." "Call me Bill," my dad said, and stuck out his hand. *** 18:40 20 Feb "Oh, wow, this is fantastic!" Rachel gushed as she heaped green beans on her plate. I was glad someone was hungry tonight. Maybe it would keep Mom off my case. *** 18:45 20 Feb My dad asked, "So how did you three meet, anyway?" Rachel and I both stared at Debbie. "Well," Debbie started, "what happened was..." I paid real close attention, in case I was quizzed on it later. *** 19:08 20 Feb "No, I'd love to help with the dishes," Rachel said. "You have," she confided to my mom, "no idea how much I missed having a home cooked meal, living in the dorms. That stuff is _nasty_." *** 19:16 20 Feb "So how much did you pay to have her come over?" Brian asked me nastily. Unfortunately for him, Debbie heard him, and just whacked him on the head. "Hey!" he interjected (shows excitement, or emotion, hallelujah...), but Debbie just hissed at him to shut his filthy mouth or she'd rip his face completely off. I was frightened, and I knew she'd never do something that crude; it wasn't her style. She scared Brian so bad he shut up. This was, in my experience, unique. *** 19:40 20 Feb "Well, I haveta get going." Rachel made a face. "Anthro homework. But thank you both, so very much, for dinner. It was wonderful." Mom and Dad didn't know what to do with that, especially when Debbie turned on her charm too. Brian made gagging motions, but I kicked him enough to make him stop. *** 07:58 21 Feb "So what's up this weekend?" Mike asked me. "Goin' out with Debbie," I said. And grinned. He gave me a look. "You're not...." "She hasn't said anything about... that, yet, so I'm gonna assume no." *I hope,* I prayed. He shook his head. "A wise man would be prepared, Tucker. She's had a month to think about it." I took a deep breath. "Anyway, you gonna be able to make the game on Sunday?" "I am gonna, if I have to hitchhike the whole way to your house from wherever." We high-fived. "The Red Hand Band!" "Ho-o-o-o!" yodelled George when he heard me. "Gentlemen!" complained Mr. Dobson. *** 11:32 21 Feb Debbie said, "So anyway, I figured picking you up about five, okay?" "That'd be great!" Especially since it wouldn't leave any time for her to change me into a girl again. "Make sure you wash behind your ears, too." She nibbled on one to remind me. *** 15:18 21 Feb "Nu neh-nu neh-nu-neh-nu," I mumbled to myself as I got into the shower. Life was gonna be good, now that I wasn't grounded any more. *** 17:04 21 Feb The doorbell strobed red, and I was gonna yell at whoever it was for disturbing me again, when I saw the clock. *Oooh, must be Debbie!* I unplugged myself, draped the headset on the mannequin head, and got up to unlock the door. "Debbie!" She looked dressed to kill. "Hey, just let me shut the stuff down and I'll be right out, okay?" "Okay," she said, kind of laughing, as I turned back around and started closing files and windows and turning off switches and so on. It took me about thirty seconds, but she waited the whole time without saying anything. As I turned around, I asked, "So, where are..." Then I noticed the rest of the Pack was there, staring at me. And grinning. "Oh, no!" I tried to slam the door shut, but Debbie held it open, and the rest of them swarmed me. *** 17:05 21 Feb "Okay, around this corner," Debbie ordered the Pack. "Oh, hi, Mister Tucker," she said to my dad as we passed the living room. I twisted around so I could try to signal him, but he was smiling at Debbie. My heart sank. I got so depressed at this betrayal that I stopped thrashing, which made carrying me a lot easier. But it was hopeless anyway. I did get to see Brian spill a coke on himself, though. "Thank you, Mister Tucker!" they all chorused. "Hi, ladies," he said. "Now remember to have him back by three, or you have to keep him," he joked. *Three?* I thought. *I get to stay out 'til three if I'm being kidnapped? You bastard!* "We will!" they all chorused, and he got up to open the front door for them. I cursed at him, but with the tape over my mouth you couldn't hear it. *** 17:07 21 Feb As we pulled away, I stopped struggling, figuring, what was the use? So they let me go, even pulled the tape loose, and I eased my way into a seat in the minivan. "Ready for girl's night out?" Jill asked, and they all laughed. I really hated it when Mike was right about stuff like this. *** 17:32 21 Feb "Where is this?" I asked as they hustled me out of the van and into this little shop that used to be a house. "You need a haircut," Pam said as Debbie went up to the blue haired receptionist. I mean, her hair was electric blue. "Now, stop fighting us!" I felt fear. If they tried to make _my_ hair that color, I was _leaving_. *** 17:35 21 Feb All of them were getting trims or whatever, except Kim. Debbie and Pam had explained to the guy who would be doing me, exactly what they wanted. I had no idea what they were talking about, but the guy told me that if I just brushed it back, no one would figure out that I had a girl's haircut. Which led to a lot of other things that he must've known too. *** 17:48 21 Jan Something finally clicked in my head. *There is a gay man cutting my hair,* I thought, as it all stood up on end. *And he's doing it so I can go around as a girl.* I looked at him in the mirror, and he was happily zipping away. *And he doesn't care?* The guy hummed to himself. *** 18:03 21 Jan "See?" said the guy as he showed me in the mirror. Yes, it did look like a guy's haircut when it was brushed back. Maybe this would get my parents off my neck about my hair. *** 18:26 21 Jan Shampooed, conditioned, brushed, cut, styled, and rinsed (but not, thank God, colored or permed), I was ready for the next step. Which involved bringing in several bags and all of us going to this room upstairs. "Ahhhh!" I said when I saw Jill, who was now platinum blonde. "Like it?" she asked. "It's.... it's really different. Ask me in a week, okay?" "_I_ think it looks cool," Debbie said, shooting me a dirty look. "It's not bad!" I protested. "I'm just not used to seeing her as a blonde, okay? Gimme a break!" I squinted at Jill. "Definitely changes your look," I tried. She gave me an uncertain look, but went to get dressed. *I guess I live,* I hoped. *** 18:40 21 Feb "It fits, really. It looks good," Pam assured me as I gaped at myself in the mirror. What they had me in tonight, was a little black dress that looked a lot like a one piece swimsuit, except with a skirt. And it had black lace from the neck side of the shoulder straps all the way up to the neck, like a Victorian blouse, and a separate black lace and gauze skirt. Stockings, a regular bra for once, thank God, garter belt, panties and a G string weren't visible. I hoped. Except the stockings. They'd also somehow stuck something in my hair that had black and white lace strips dangling off it. It made my hair look like it was put up instead of just short. And added white lace socks and black heels. I told them what they could do with the white lace gloves. They told me what I was _going_ to do with them, though, so I had them on until I could ditch them into my pocket. "What, am I the bait tonight?" "Nooooo, sweetheart," Debbie said as she swirled up. "We just want you to look good tonight." She patted me on the shoulder. "Get out of the way!" Sabrina groused, and we vacated the mirror. They were dressing in front of me again, and I wasn't doing anything again. Then again... I tried to catch another glimpse of what I looked like in the mirror, but the angle was wrong. "Think you can do your makeup tonight?" Pam asked as she stripped. Debbie interjected, "No, we're doing some serious party face tonight, so John's gonna do it. Come on, Val." She led me downstairs. "Wait, who's John?" *** 18:42 21 Feb John was the guy who had cut my hair. He was, I had surmised, gay. *Don't panic,* I told myself. "Well, hon," he swished at me, "you look GORGEOUS!" Peachy. He led me over to the makeup table. "Did you have something in mind for tonight?" "Me?" I asked. "Well, who else?" "Debbie, mostly." I sighed. "She's the one that handles all of this," I waved a gloved hand at the lace and lycra. "I'm just along for the ride." He gave me a look which said, I don't believe you. What came out of his mouth, though, was, "Well, in that case, I would guess that she wants you to look simply fabulous for your debut tonight. So what I-" "Debut?" *** 18:43 21 Feb "DEBBIE!" I pounded up the stairs. "WHAT THE HEh-" There was a absolute babe in front of me, dressed to slay and make you like it. Somehow I didn't want to scream about what was wrong in front of her. Until I recognized it was Jill. "Jesus Christ, Jill, you look beaut-" I suddenly remembered I had something to discuss with Debbie. "Bee-youtiful." She smiled happily. "'Scuse me a minute, though, I gotta talk to Debbie." *** 18:44 21 Feb "What is this about a debut?" "Who said that?" Debbie tried looking innocent, but I wasn't buying tonight. "John your little helper downstairs said that! Don't bullshit me," I warned her, "you have something planned, and I want to know what it is or I am taking off." _Man_ I hated it when Mike was right. She gave me a skeptical look. "Like that?" "I made my own arrangements for escape tonight, Debbie. In case you wondered, I _have_ been learning from these little escapades." Mike's parents would definitely be surprised if I showed up like this, but it might be preferable to whatever was going to happen. "Now tell me what the hell is going on?" She'd been building up steam the whole time I'd been talking, and she was about to blast me with it when Kathy and Kim and Sabrina came over and got in between us. Kathy said urgently, "Listen, it's not a big deal, we were just gonna go dancing tonight, okay? And we wanted to take you out, have some fun, 'cause you're the only guy we can take on something like this, okay?" I wished I could hear what Kim and Sab were telling Debbie. "So," Kathy went on, "we were just gonna go have dinner and then go dancing-" "Where?" "Dunno about dinner. Dancing at a place called Underground," she told me, talking fast. "Nobody from school ever goes there, but Jill likes it and got the rest of us to go. It's not a big deal, we're not setting you up for anything, we just wanted to have some fun tonight, and we thought you might like to go with us, okay?" She sighed, and rubbed her nose. I realized then that she was almost naked. "Well," I protested desperately, trying not to stare at her bare breasts, which were staring at me, "but, why can't I just come along? Like normal?" She shook her head. "If you went as Debbie's boyfriend, then we'd have to bring ours, and then it would be like a regular date, not like us going out as just friends, okay? It's a little different. Like, like when you and Mike and everybody play games, right? Just time to be yourself and have fun and not worry, right?" "But-" She moved in for the kill, I could sense it. "So, we all think you could be a friend of ours, we'd _like_ you to be our friend, and we wanted to take you along, as a friend, right? Just have fun. You had fun at Sabbie's house, right? Right?" I hated to nod yes. "Well, this is supposed to be like that, just friends going out, dancing, having a good time, and we wanted you to come along. And we can't do that if you're sucking face with Debbie all night. But, unlike most of the people we're dating," she rolled her eyes, "you're more like a _friend_ to the _rest_ of us, so we wanted you to come along as _our friend_, not Debbie's hotspot." "But-" It sounded weak, even to me. *** 18:47 21 Feb John was sitting, reading something as Kathy escorted me back downstairs. He looked up, and smiled. "Did we get everything worked out?" he asked innocently. "Yes!" Kathy told him. "Now," she turned to me, "you go sit and get beautiful, okay? I need to get ready." She sure did. I was glad, for her, that this section of the place didn't have windows. "Oh, hon," John said, and we turned to look at him. "I hope you're going out in more than _that_." He shuddered. "It's supposed to be _cold_ tonight!" Kathy looked dumb for a moment, then looked down, saw that she was still wearing nothing but panties, turned bright red, made an "Eeep!" noise, and turned and walked back upstairs like she had some dignity left. Quickly. I waited until she was out of sight before starting to laugh. I almost choked to death first, though. *** 18:53 21 Feb The girls were drifting downstairs, and settling around me. I guess I was more interesting than that month's issue of Vogue or something. I had to be, come to think of it. John had this sick idea that I wanted to know what he was doing, so he kept up a running commentary, and made me do half the work. The girls approved. Especially Debbie. *** 19:02 21 Feb John was directing me in how to do liquid eyeliner - and my dad said painting aircraft models would never come in handy, the idiot - when someone knocked at the front door. "Ooh, it's probably Lisa," Debbie said happily. John got up to answer the door. I would have gotten up too, but the glares nailed me to the seat. It was Lisa. "Hey ladies!" she waved. "Hi, Valerie!" At least Gary wasn't with her. For once. *** 19:12 21 Feb He was done, and he was faster than Debbie was. Of course, he did this all day, whereas Debbie was busy doing other things like plotting the next way to humiliate her boyfriend. There was a knock at the door. Debbie looked at her watch, then pushed me up and out of the chair. "Go answer it!" I looked at John - it _was_ his shop - and he shrugged. Debbie whispered something in his ear, though, and he grinned and nodded. Whoever it was knocked again. I sighed, and made my way to the door. I couldn't help but notice everyone following behind me. I unlocked the door and opened it, resolving that if it was John the pizza boy I would tell him _exactly_ what happened to guys that dated Debbie. It wasn't John, it was Amanda, the only member of the Pack besides Lisa that hadn't been there during the party. "Oh, uh, excuse me," she wiped hair out of her face, "I was looking for Debbie Carstairs? Is this the right place?" "Who?" I asked. Just to be mischevious. "Oh, um..." She was at a loss until Debbie whacked me in the back of the head, which made me say something rude, and then she flung the door open. "Hey, come on in!" Debbie said. "We're all ready except you, so didja get your stuff?" "Uh," she said. She looked as frightened as I usually felt. She pointed at me. "Is that- Are you-" The rest of the girls started to laugh. I smiled at her. "Hiya." Debbie said, "Amanda, meet Valerie. She'll be going out with us tonight." She just stared. *** 19:26 21 Feb We weren't all finished, it turned out, so Amanda wasn't the only one in front of the mirror. She kept looking at me, but Debbie and Jill had a small talk with her. I guess I was intimidating her or something. Haha. I dunno why - it wasn't like I was going to get all macho all of a sudden or anything. Not in this dress. "Val!" Sabrina complained. "What?" I turned back to face her. "What is your deal?" I shrugged. "She's the only one who I haven't seen in her underwear. Or worn her clothes." Sabrina saved Debbie a trip by smacking me herself. *** 19:31 21 Feb John had tossed us out, and he locked up as we trudged to the Suburban Teen Assault Vehicle. Lisa had brought her car, so she was gonna take Debbie and Jill, while the rest of us piled into the minivan. I ended up sitting next to Amanda, who almost had a heart attack when I bumped into her getting in. "Jeez, Amanda, chill out!" said Kathy. "She's okay." Amanda shook her head, avoiding looking at me. "It's just too weird - I mean, she, he, whatever..." I felt embarrassed. Weird as it sounds, she was the first person to bring it up. First girl, anyway. Pam said, "Look, just think of her as Valerie, Tuck's _much_ cooler sister. That'll make it easier." "Is that what I've been doing wrong?" I asked, which made most of them giggle. "She's cool," Kathy asserted. "Remember, she spent the whole night over with us at Sabrina's house, and her brother never showed up at all." She nudged me. "No computers to wake _him_ up." I frowned at her. "Hey..." But Kim was digging pictures out of an envelope and giggling. I had an idea what was in those photos. "Gimme those!" and I made a grab for them. Kathy disputed my attempt to claim them, and as she was unfairly both bigger and stronger, I lost. Oh, and she was meaner, too. "Take a gander at these," Kim said, passing them to Amanda and turning on the light. *** 19:35 21 Jan I got to see them, finally, after they'd been passed around to everyone who hadn't seen them yet. Luckily, Pam had already seen them, since she was driving. There was one of me, asleep on Travis' shoulder, at the ER waiting room. I looked like any other girl who'd passed out from nervous exhaustion. There was one of me asleep with Pam and Debbie and Sabrina, all in one bed. Pam looked like the odd one out, since she was the only one in that bed wearing a T shirt. They must've pulled the sheets back, since we were all exposed. It looked weird, seeing four girls curled up like we'd been, like a litter of puppies. There was one of me screaming in shock as I woke up with a pair of breasts attached to my chest. That one would have been funny, except I was still having nightmares like that. Somehow, there was one of Travis kissing me. What bugged me was, I couldn't tell where. Which said something for the number of times he'd kissed me. There was one of me and Jill and Kim, dressed for coffee Sunday morning. They'd gotten one of me in this really stupid pose as I was doing eyeliner at the party. I hadn't noticed that one being taken either. One of me, passed out on a floor. It took me a while to remember the floor tiles - it was the mall where Bobby had caught me, and Travis had beaten the hell out of him. Another one of me in Travis' arms, same mall, as he tried to wake me up. You could almost sell this one as a romance novel cover. One of me in some damned changing room, in my underwear. From the angle, she'd stood up in the next stall and snapped it from above. I mean, it was Debbie's underwear, but I was wearing it at the time. It must've been the day of the party, since I wasn't wearing the corset... _Another_ one of Travis kissing me. This one, I almost looked like I was enjoying it. Oh, God. "Oh, God," Amanda and I said at the same time. Then we looked at each other. "Hava leetle," giggled Sabrina as she passed us a thermos. I sniffed, not being stupid, and smelled something alcohol. "It's a screwdriver," she explained. "For attitude adjustment." She laughed. I politely handed it to Amanda first, who took a large gulp. I decided I could use about that much too. "Yeeugh," I complained after I swallowed. "If ya don't like it, give it back!" Sabrina told me, which I did, except Kim intercepted it first. Pam started grousing about having to drive, and therefore not being able to drink tonight. *Tuck, old bean,* I thought to myself, *you are in for another interesting night.* I could see the signs. *** 19:41 21 Feb Pam put something in the stereo to "start the party" as she said. The first song was Salt'N'Pepa doing "Push It." Everyone started singing along. I wouldn't have, except Sabrina poked me until I started to sing. My ribs hurt. *** 19:46 21 Feb "Bimp, bomp, bump," thudded the speakers. *Oh, no,* I thought when I saw Sabrina's grin. I'd confessed a secret shame to her about two in the morning, and now it was going to come back to haunt me. 'Cause I recognized the intro. "Come on, Val, sing with me, okay?" she pleaded over the intro. I sighed. This wasn't going to be easy, but then, they already had photos. "Okay, okay, just wind it back to the beginning." Pam did. "You first." I took a deep breath. Bimp, bomp, bump... "Come on girls," Sabrina squalled, "do you believe in love? 'Cause I got somethin' to say about it! And it goes something like this." She kept singing, so I wasn't alone as I jumped in. "Don't go for second best, bay bee," we chorused. "Put your lover to the test. You know you know you know you got to Make him express how he feels And only then you'll know your love is real." Sabrina tapped me and zipped her lip, so I stopped. *Yep, interesting,* I thought idly as Pam took the next line. "You don't need diamond rings," she sang. "Or eighteen carat gold," added Kim. She tapped Sabrina, who sang, "Fancy cars that go very fast," and she tapped me. "You know, they never last, oh no-o-o," I slapped Kathy's leg. I'd never thought you could sing this as a round, but it was going well. Except Amanda was giving me that look again. *** 19:54 21 Feb I hadn't known it was possible to peal out a minivan, but it was gonna be a weird night anyway. "You are an obsession You're my obsession Who do you want me to be To make you sleep with me..." *** 20:02 21 Feb We all piled out of the minivan into a parking lot I didn't recognize. Souper Salad said the sign. I giggled as I thought that. The screwdriver was beginning to turn, as it were. *** 20:04 21 Feb "What's up with you?" Debbie asked me quietly. I bent over to whisper in her ear, steadying myself on her shoulder. "Someone brought a thermos full of screwdrivers." It was hard enough walking in heels anyway, when my legs weren't slightly rubberized. She made a face at me. "How much did you have?" "Only one drink out of it, I swear." She shook her head, and grinned. "Val, you _are_ a cheap date!" "Hey!" I complained. "I'm not cheap! Besides, it was one BIG drink." She just rolled her eyes. *** 20:07 21 Feb I was gonna complain about rabbit food, but then realized that if the girls were gonna go dancing, they wouldn't want something too heavy. Besides, everyone except Pam had bitched about their weight already. I think it was a bonding ritual. So I had salad, and a baked potato. And a _lot_ of company. *** 20:14 21 Feb "Debbie," I whispered, "why does Amanda keep staring at me like that?" "I don't think she's used to you yet," she whispered back. "Don't worry about it. She's cool." *** 20:20 21 Feb Kim was demonstrating what she'd like to do to Mister Fuckhead Tim (apparently now his official title) on a baked potato when Debbie's pager went off. She pulled it out, checked the number, checked it again, and started to curse. The rest of us shut up, and Lisa asked, "Whatsup?" "That fuckhead Bill has fucked something up again," she complained. "Lemme out." We got up so she could go call him. Lisa sighed. "It's hell trying to rule the world, eh?" I announced. And everyone laughed _hard_ at that. I tried not to wonder who "Bill" was. And tried not to feel jealous. But then again, if she'd wanted a real macho man, she wouldn't have dressed me up in the first place, right? Or at least the second place. Besides, she'd called him a fuckhead, which she'd never called me. Debbie calling someone a fuckhead was kind of like your parents telling you that they'd found you on the side of the road and now they wish they hadn't stopped. Even "Valerie" was better. *** 20:23 21 Feb Lisa stopped in the middle of a story about the last guy to cheat on her, sighed, and got her purse and started pushing us out. I looked over the other way, and Debbie was walking back to the table, winding her finger in the air. "I gotta go deal with some business," Debbie announced when she got to the table. "Anybody got a pager?" Pam dug in her purse, and held one up. "'Kay, got your number, I'll call you when I'm done if it's after eleven, okay?" She bent down, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "You be good, okay?" I nodded, then said back, "Yeah, but you be careful, alright?" She nodded, and said her goodbyes to everyone else, and dropped a twenty on the table. Then her and Lisa left. I sighed. Her leaving took a lot of the fun out of things. "So what's your hell date?" Kim asked Amanda. *** 20:25 21 Feb I guessed that Amanda had done very well in bio, since the way she was dissecting Boyfriend Number Last in effigy showed a lot of practice and care. Boy, that would hurt, though. Especially when she pulled the skin gently off and salted what was underneath. Which, in this case happened to be another potato, but even so, it made me afraid. *** 20:27 21 Feb "I think it has something to do with their underwear," I postulated. They all stared at me. Nobody said anything. Finally, Kathy, being the bravest, asked, "What?" "Well, see," I couldn't look at them any more or I'd crack up, so I stared at my salad plate. "You take away their underwear, and they get real docile alluva sudden. No more macho!" There was about three seconds of dead, stunned, silence, and then Kathy whooped, which set everyone else off. Even Amanda. *** 20:31 21 Feb "I don't _think_ they're hard," Jill said. And pulled her dress and bra out far enough that she could see. "Nope, not hard." "Lemme see," I said, and she actually moved aside enough to let me see. Her nipples were soft and small. "Nope, not hard." "Bummer," she said sadly. "I _thought_ I thought he was a hunk." Sabrina asked, "What about Mike Brant?" Mike Brant was the kicker for the football team, and he played soccer, and somehow all the girls ran after him. Jill thought about it. "Hrmmm...." *** 20:34 21 Feb "What?" "I said, you just don't know how to handle guys," Kim told me again. "I don't _wanna_ know how to handle guys," I told her. "Not yet," I added in case anyone was listening. "What, are you gonna wait until _college_?" Jill asked. She rolled her eyes. "Come on, it's not hard. What with those brothers of yours, you'll have an advantage anyway." "Wha-" *Oh.* Those brothers. Brian, and Eugene, may he rest in peace tonight. "But-" "They're right." Kathy pointed her finger at me. "THINK about it, Valerie. We're gonna stick with you tonight, because it's your first time out, but you gotta know how to handle yourself." "But-" "And THEM!" Sabrina interrupted, giggling. *** 20:47 21 Feb "But why do I have to flirt in the first place?" "First off," Kathy said, ticking the points off her fingers, "they're gonna expect it. Second, it's the way it's played. Thirdly, it's the best way to get what you want out of the situation." "Fourthly," Pam added, "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar." Which set off a round of giggling. Sabrina said, a little more seriously, "And the whole point is, if you act funny, then they'll think you're strange, and you _don't_ want 'em trying to figure out how." She had a point. But why did it have to be _me_? *** 20:52 21 Feb And lo, the valiant band set forth to conquer the land. Their first conquest: the bathroom. "Jesus, Val, are you done yet?" Sabrina complained over the stall door. "Give me a minute," I huffed, adjusting things. "I'm wearing more underwear than you. It takes me longer to arrange things." Someone else came out of a stall and said, "Here," and I guess Sabrina took it. *** 20:54 21 Feb I'd just gotten my turn at the mirror when I heard a someone moan behind me. I turned around, and it was Julia. "Erk," I said, then, "Not again!" Her eyebrows had gone up into her hair. "So what's a nice like you doing in a girl place like this?" she asked me. It was pretty funny, when I thought about it. Before I could answer, Kim, coming out of a stall, said, "Oh, hey..." and then kind of trailed off as she saw me again. Like she'd just noticed the principal or something. "Uh, girl's night out?" I tried. Julia looked around, and saw the Pack staring back at her. I expected them to start growling at her. She shook her head. "I don't believe this. NO ONE would believe this." Then she turned back and gave me the twice over. "And did you get your hair styled today? You didn't look like that at school today." "Um." Then I thought, *Well, she likes me and Debbie, and she's already kept her mouth shut several times...* And she was wearing the earrings we had given her, right now. "Yeah. I'm sort of being recruited." I gave her a sick grin. "This is sort of the initiation." She slapped a hand over her mouth, but that didn't stop her warp-speed giggles. The Pack sort of relaxed as I handsigned to be cool. *** 20:56 21 Feb "Well, have a nice time tonight," Julia told me, then bent close. "You know, you'd better be careful, dressed up and out like that. You look way too... delectable, and the guys are gonna be all over you." "I got the lecture over dinner tonight," I told her. "Besides, like Jill said, I have an advantage. I know how guys think." And grinned a Debbie sort of grin. She gave me the most wonderful wide-eyed stare. *** 21:03 21 Feb Paying the bill was worse than my last math final. Well, the math was easy. Watching them try and figure out who owed who what was horrible. *** 21:06 21 Feb "God, I hate cold cars," Amanda complained. "At least you're wearing more than me!" I pointed out. She gave me that look again, and I kicked myself. "This'll warm you up," Sabrina said, and handed us the thermos again. Ever the gentleman, I let Amanda take the first gulp. My, that was going fast. I took about half of what was left, which wasn't much. As if she could hear me, Kim pulled out an identical thermos. "Seconds, anyone?" she asked dryly, and giggled some more. *** 21:12 21 Feb "Goin' down, Party time, My friends are gonna be there too, WAAaauuuu!" we all shrieked. This was _just_ the right song for tonight. I'd have to thank Z-Rock when I got to a phone. If I lived. *** 21:17 21 Feb "She's drivin' away With her tail lights on. And she's makin' her play. She can't go wrong. She never waits too long." We clapped in time to the music. A little weird, jamming to something that had been recorded right before I was even born, but it was cool. *** 21:22 21 Feb "Well, shit, my ears hurt," complained Pam as she turned the music down. "Well, what are we gonna doooooo?" whined Sabrina. "We need something to set the moooooood!" and she started to giggle. "Moooooood moooooooosic," Jill got out before she couldn't talk coherently any more. *** 21:23 21 Feb "Let's make Valerie practice!" Kim suggested. Practice "handling guys" is what she meant. It was immediately taken up as the best idea. Except for Amanda, of course. And me, but nobody cared what I thought. *** 21:27 21 Feb We pulled into a parking lot so that I could learn how I should act getting in and out of a car. I couldn't believe we were doing this. *** 21:28 21 Feb I pulled my purse into my lap and sat, watching Jill walk around the front of the van to open my door. When she did, I let her help me out. When she tried to kiss me, though, I pulled away, so she missed. "Good, great!" called Kathy. "That's how you do it!" *** 21:32 21 Feb The next lesson, how to tell a guy to get lost when you didn't want to be so polite any more, was cut short when we pulled into the Underground parking lot. I guessed that's where we were, because of all the teenagers wandering around the parking lot. "Erk!" I said, suddenly having a case of stage fright. "Hava somore!" Kim ordered, handing me the thermos again. I hada somore. What was kind of scary was, it didn't taste so nasty any more. *** "Bonus points if you can name all the titles and artists of the songs..." - ehayes TS Tip #13: Carry tampons - do not use them. 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