-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- Tuck O'Salad -*- Copyright 2013 by Ellen Hayes. Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when used for satirical purposes. This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and possibly sex. If you are legally not allowed to read materials containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading this. I am not responsible. Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish, state, and country. All rights reserved. See the bottom for distribution rights. Tuck O'Salad *** 13:27 22 Feb "Oh!" Rachel said when she came in, startling me off her bed. "Sorry!" "Oh, no, I just thought you'd be changed by now." "Oh... yeah," I said, looking at the bed like that would tell me something. "I, um... I just, kind of..." "Is something wrong?" I looked at her. "Yeah, kind of..." She guessed, "Nicole?" "Yeah. Well, n- Wel- It's a potential problem." I sighed, because I was kind of pissed at myself for being so fucking vain that I wanted someone to like the way I looked, or tell ME they liked the way I looked; I'd spent most of my life hating people who wanted that. Admittedly, because they deserved the hate, and even more because they tended to throw some hate at me first. Or at least the class of Pretty People had started it, way back when. Rachel sort of smiled at me, then came over and sat on her bed - which I'd been sitting on, which NOW I sort of realized I wasn't supposed to do, or at least I felt like I shouldn't have - and turned to face me and said, "Want to talk about it?" "Do you mind? 'Cause I've been sitting here thinking about it..." *Shouldn't have mentioned the 'sitting' part...* But she didn't complain about that. "Not really... And it'd be better than chemistry." "Chemistry?" *What could be better than chemistry? Well, nuclear weapon physics, I guess; but they don't teach classes in that. It's sort of self-study,* I realized. "Yeah, I had to take a science elective, and..." She shook her head. "Dude, if you want chemistry help, I can totally do that. I took it last year, got an A in it. So did Mike, so we could both help you. AP chemistry," I added. "Oh really? Oh wow... That'd be great!" "So... Oh, are you coming tonight? Oh, I have to go shopping- Well, not really, actually. I made lots and lots of chili." *** 13:49 22 Feb "So I don't even know-" Something electronic went off, which I eventually figured out was my cellphone. "Damnit. Hold on a second." I dug it out and answered, "Mushi-mushi?" "Tuck! Get your head out of Nicole's-" and Mike whistled to self- censor, "-and get back over here! You're supposed to be cooking!" "What? I've-" I checked my watch. It was almost two; cooking chili in the crockpot took at least six hours; I'd just fucked myself. "Oh hell. Look, you can do this," I said desperately, "just-" "What? ME?! I'm not gay!" My brain clattered for a couple of seconds until the chain caught up with the deraileur again. "That's BAKING you Chinese gook fag!" "'Chinese gook' is redundant 'n 'm not gay," he smirked because I'd seriously lost this exchange. "No, seriously, where are you and what are you doing?" "I got depressed- well, kind of, about... something. Which would take too long and too much cellphone billing to explain," I explained. "And I was talking to Rachel." "Why didn't you talk to your therapist about-" "I DID!" "Well?" I sighed. "It was... Oh, fuck it. Cellphone billing. Tell you later. Should I get something else for food and make it, or are six pots of chili gonna do it?" "It's eight, with my mom's. I'd say, get something else..." *Of COURSE you'd say something like that,* I realized, because it was MIKE. Mike said, "Big-assed salad, maybe..." That actually sounded good. "No," Mike said. "Get some shredded lettuce, and make it like taco filling. Kind of a taco salad, but no meat. Uh, lettuce, tomato, olives, cheese, maybe bean paste or pinto beans- Avocados?" I was starting to salivate. "Mike, you are a sick sick fuck, you know that?" "Oh, hey, coming from you that means a lot. Thanks. You done shrinking your head, or you- Where ARE you anyway? Rachel's?" "Yeah- Oh, she said she might need some help on chemistry?" I looked at Rachel and she was nodding at me. Well, us. "Oh ho," Mike chuckled. "Knew she was leading up to something with you. Oh, bacon." "What?" "Make bacon, for the salad or chili or both. Baked potatoes? But definitely bacon." My stomach was arguing about the the bacon. "Well, with her and chemistry, it'll do you good to get taken advantage of for something besides your mattress wrestling prowess." I laughed so hard I dropped the cellphone. *** 13:51 22 Feb "Actually, I could kind of stand to eat something," I said, "and then you could either help with cooking or get started on chemistry, or whatever." "Um... Oh, Terri asked if she could come, the next time you invited me?" "You are ALWAYS invited, Rachel!" *Duh!* She grinned a little. "Yeah, and she asked me last week, so..." I grinned back. "But she can bring some ingredients, since I'm not using HER closet." "Oh," she said as her face fell. "You probably need to change before you go, right?" "Oh..." I looked down. "Nah, let's go food shopping like this, an' then come back and change." "Why?" I just shrugged. "Been doing it that way for a while, and I sort of know the cashiers and stuff." "Ohhhh," she agreed as she nodded. "Plus, that's part of what I was talking about," I remembered. Or admitted. *** 14:22 22 Feb "And then you could get guys to come over," I finished as I bagged a fortune in avocados. "I probably ought to," Rachel agreed, "but have you seen what pots cost?" "No? Probably hideous," I realized, at least for good ones. "Damnit." I put one more avocado in a bag by itself so I could eat it at Rachel's. That had been too good an idea. "Yeah, and then everything else, like utensils... We're sort of working on it, but then, what do I do if Teri or Dave move out?" "Sort of like a divorce, I imagine." "Yeah..." She shook her head. I suggested, "Well, maybe hit up the grandparents or other relatives? I mean, everyone had to cook fifty years ago, so they might have a lot more stored away than they're using. Oh, and garage sales," I added. "Yeah, but who has time to go?" I shook my head. "God knows. I sure don't..." It was kind of sad, that I was so busy getting prepared for a life on my own, that I didn't have time to prepare for a life on my own, as it were. *** 14:31 22 Feb "Oh hey," Rachel said, and I looked up and it was some older guy. "How's it going?" "Not bad," the guy said. "You shopping for Sunday supper?" Well, it wasn't a hard guess, since we had a cart full of food and about nothing else like toilet paper. His cart was mostly empty, but seemed like a more normal mix. "Yeah, we were gonna- Oh! Will, this is Valerie, a friend of mine; Val, this is Will, from my Argumentation and Persuasion class." We said hi to each other, as I wondered if that class could possibly be what it sounded like. Rachel continued, "Anyway, Valerie's got this thing going where she cooks once a week and has her friends over." "That sounds good," he said. "Yeah, unfortunately my parents kind of keep it restricted; there's only so many people I can have over," I lied. It was remarkable that I didn't get hit by lightning, considering the magnitude. "Plus we're kind of late." "Oh. Still living with your parents?" "She is, I'm not," Rachel said before I could think how to answer that. "You?" "Nah, still living in the dorm. It was just easier, y'know?" *** 14:49 22 Feb "Oh, how about I get it," Rachel suggested as we finally got to the register, "or part of it, and that counts for Terri's ingredients?" "Oh, that'd work," I agreed. "Plus, if Mike or Jill did what they were supposed to, she might could take some home for tomorrow." "Oooh, that would be good." "Oh, and get a crockpot; you need at least one." "Where?" *** 16:23 22 Feb "So, I mean... I don't know," I sighed. "Later, I think," Mike said. "It's too soon to tell her now." "She's already noticing things... Oh, and Kelly came up, and she seemed to be cool with the idea- I mean, not especially like she wanted to do it herself, but that it was okay that there were other girls that did. Kelly said she was asking reasonable questions... was that yesterday? I think it was," I assured myself. *** 18:29 22 Feb "Oh, hey Terri," I said, as she came in with Rachel. She gave me a little wave and a half-smile, as she looked around. *** 18:40 22 Feb "Tuck?" I turned around, and it was Nicole, and Ms. Nicole so to speak. "Oh hey!" I said, smiling. "Luckily, this time I'm not covered in sweat. Um... Miz Petersen, do I- I mean, am I supposed to introduce you to my parents now?" "That's... usual, I think," she agreed, looking a bit boggled. I'd hoped she wouldn't want to, but it was pretty inevitable, I guess. *They're in... the dining room, hogging seats, most likely.* I went from kitchen to dining room, and that's where they were. That's where EVERYONE was, it seemed. I tried to fire a missile whistle to get everyone's attention, but it didn't work. Mom noticed what I was attempting, though, and did it for me. People screamed, like they often did. "Ah! This is Nicole's mom, Miz Petersen," I announced blindly, because I couldn't quite hear myself. And I did it loudly because Mom had probably blown some eardrums. "Be polite!" I turned to Ms. Petersen, who luckily didn't have blood coming out of her ears though she did look a bit stunned, and then pointed, "Bill Tucker, Sarah Tucker." Ms. Petersen nodded and went towards them, and I figured that was all I needed to do. Anything else would just embarrass and/or enrage me anyway. *** 18:51 22 Feb "Hiya darlin'," Kathy drawled from above me, before she picked me up from behind and swung me around. "Kathy! Damnit! This is undignified!" I had to pull my legs and my apron in before someone got whacked in the face, or worse; I had a vision of catching a bowl with a foot or something and flipping the contents all over the ceiling and walls. "You? Dignified?" Amanda got out before getting the giggles. *Not like this I'm not,* I fumed, but Kathy eventually set me down. Only to grab me, rotate me, DIP me, and then kiss the hell out of me. When she finally pulled me back up, I was breathless. "Why do you always do this to me?" "'Cause you look so cute when you splutter like that," she smiled, from way up; she was somehow taller than usual tonight. Then I remembered Ms. Petersen. "Oh man... Nicole's MOM is here!" And there she was, giving me the Eye, as Nicole looked rather perturbed herself. "Ooops," Kathy grimaced. "YEAH 'oops'!" I huffed, but it was too late. I yanked my arms from around Kathy's neck, where they had ended up somehow, and said, "Miz Petersen, this is Kathy Collins; she's a BIG friend of mine." I figured she deserved the size crack, just this once. "Ow!" It was worth the bruise, I told myself. *** 18:53 22 Feb "Why are you wearing heels?" I asked Kathy. She had on a pair of fairly high heeled gray pumps, which sort of went with her black jeans, and sort of didn't. And sort of looked familiar, though they weren't really distinctively styled. And, of course, out of everyone in the house, she was the one that LEAST needed to be taller. "Oh, you know that sale last weekend? I just got 'em, and..." I thought they looked familiar; I'd bought a pair myself. She shrugged. "This is like the first time I thought I could wear 'em." "Here?" "Well you always dress so nice for Sunday dinner," she smarted off. I was wearing scrubs, as I often did for Sundays, because I could sweat in 'em and then boil 'em. Plus sneaks, plus the apron they'd gotten me, way way back... "When did you get this apron?" I wondered aloud. "Oh," Pam said, "that time your parents went camping and you had that big party here." She turned to Ms. Petersen and smiled. "Since he was cooking, and we had to get... something?" She looked at me like I would remember. "I've no idea." "Like a, a clothing rod or someth-" "Oh, towel rack. When I broke it with my head," I remembered. When Valerie Faciszewski had had her first period. "Anyway," she said as she turned back to Ms. Petersen and I blushed like hell, "we saw it at the store we went to, and we just HAD to get it for him. It's actually a decent apron, except for all the frilly stuff." "Plus they complain if I don't wear it," I added. I'd tried bleaching the hell out of it, but it was a 'decent' apron and had survived, and it had lost all its stains too. I'd given up trying to kill it at that point; I was afraid it would get resentful and start fighting back. Plus, the girls complained if I didn't wear it. "Well, we had it embroidered," she said back to me. "Show her!" I sighed, and pulled it up so Ms. Petersen could read the KISS THE COOK! they'd actually paid money to have done, months later. "That explains why she kissed you," Ms. Petersen said. "No," I shook my head, "she's just evil." "Kathy's not evil." "Yes she is." "No I'm not!" Kathy said as she came back in. "You're just saying that 'cause I'm taller than you. Hi Miz Petersen," she smiled. Ms. Petersen looked her up and down. "She's taller than you!" Nicole gasped at her mom. And Kathy was quite a bit taller than Ms. Petersen, even without the heels. Well, maybe not 'quite a bit' taller; the heels made it a LOT worse, though. Kathy almost squealed back at Nicole, "Oh you're such a CUTE little girl!" at Nicole, who didn't know whether to have a giggle fit or a hissy fit. "C'mon c'mon, keep it moving," George bitched. *** 20:11 22 Feb "Chemistry," Mike reminded me. "Oh right," I agreed, as Rachel nodded, looking hopeful. "No sweat." "They've got white boards in the basement," Mike reminded her. *** 20:34 22 Feb I did not especially want to go out with the two smokers, but they were my guests, as it were; even more so than the usual horde of freeloaders. So I got my coat and went out back with them. It seemed especially cold, but that was probably because I was sleepy-full and it was warm in the house. As Nicole lit a cigarette and then held the lighter for her mom, I was wondering if maybe I should send a pie home with them, or if- "Hey, wait," I realized. "What?" Nicole plumed. I shook my head, and looked again. There was Nicole, indulging in a drug that was illegal for her to possess or use at her age, as well as being considered nearly as evil as crack. And there was her mom. Doing the same thing. Right in front of each other. Ms. Petersen plumed, then asked, "Something wrong?" "Ahhhhh. No?" Then Mom came out, and I ALMOST grabbed Nicole's hand and tried to get over the fence with her. Mom looked at Nicole, looked at Nicole's mom, looked at Nicole, and then looked at ME, like I'd had something to do with this. "Thank you so very much for inviting us," Ms. Petersen said. "And, Miz Tucker, you have a lovely home." "Oh, thank you," Mom said. She turned, but I could still feel the glare on me. *** 20:39 22 Feb "She said she'd snap our necks if we started." "No I did not," Mom countered. "I said I'd break both your arms if you did it inside the house." *Oh, right; and you'd beat us to a bloody pulp if we started.* She then turned to Ms. Petersen and explained, "That's the rule for my family, anyway." "I did the same thing, back-" "What?" I accidentally said. "I mean, I could smell it in your house." "Not really," Nicole said. *No, really, I could,* I thought, but shut up for once. "So you both..." Mom shook her head. "WHY in gods' name are you letting your daughter smoke?" Mom said, kicking the elephant on the porch that had been sitting outside with us. "At her age?" "You smoked; when did you start? Did anything like threats work on YOU?" Ms. Petersen shot back, as I wondered how Ms. Petersen had known. Maybe they could sense each other, like demons. "They didn't on me. I got whipped, more than once, and I just hated my dad for doing it." "She just caught me that time," Nicole said, almost proudly but not entirely, "and it was like, 'you oughta stop, but if you don't, here's the rules. And stop stealing 'em from me!'" "Also," Ms. Petersen added, "I didn't want her to be shoplifting or anything like that to get them." "Not like you could, nowadays," Mom said. "Or dating boys that could buy 'em for her." Mom actually winced at that. "Oooh, no." "Mom!" I protested, because that was sick. "When you're older," she shot instantly. I opened my mouth to protest, then reconsidered; did I actually want to hear this EVER? About my MOM? *** 20:45 22 Feb "Well, I mean, it's the same thing with sex, kinda," Nicole insisted quietly; we'd moved sort of away from the moms, but not that far. Not as far as I wanted, anyway. "She just made me get on birth control, when I was twelve, so I wouldn't get pregnant, and then said, 'Well, don't be dumb with it.'" I almost opened my mouth, but then the 'twelve' caught up with me, because she was fifteen at the youngest right now. Which made it three years she'd been on birth control, without having intercourse. "Oh." If she hadn't lied. "You were really a..." and I whispered, "...virgin, until last weekend?" She nodded. "I just... I mean, I COULD have, sort of, but..." Then she smiled, which made me warm. "I'm really glad I waited. For you." I had to hug her, even if she was kind of stinky with poison gas. *** 20:58 22 Feb I was glad I'd been able to convince Mike to get Jill to put the fourth set of chili on, because I could send some home with Nicole and her mom, which couldn't possibly be a bad idea. Except, of course, putting it like THAT was just begging the universe to give me a demonstration of botulism or something. *** 22:51 22 Feb "Yeah, it's actually helping," Rachel summarized, as she nodded. "A lot of chemistry is just basic concepts," Mike said, apparently still in lecture mode. "You get those, the rest is comparatively easy." She gave him a look which was remarkably similar to those looks I'd gotten from other girls who had been told something similar. It was not a pleasant look. *** 23:17 22 Feb "Oh, jeez," I complained, as I realized why one ear had felt more swollen than the other. It was infected, was why. I was pretty sure I shouldn't remove the stud, but that made it VERY hard to squeeze all the pus out and then clean it. Well, this was why they'd invented shower heads on hoses. *** 02:13 23 Feb "I am so fucking sick of this," I sighed, as I waited for the nausea to ebb enough so I could have some ginger. I was getting seriously addicted to the stuff. Or its effects. At least my infected ear didn't hurt that much any more. *** 05:14 23 Feb It did now; and I had to squeeze out another blob of pus from it, and then go hose off my head in the bathroom before the remaining traces led to another infection. The thought of Debbie doing this so close to my brain gave me the shivers again. And nausea. I was really getting tired of nausea. *** 06:55 23 Feb "Man, I wish it would get warm again," Jill complained as we swung into a parking spot. "I wanna ride my bike!" *Without turning into a hockey puck,* I didn't add because I didn't need to. "Hey, guess who's waiting for youuuuuu," she smirked. "Nicole, I hope." There were LOTS of people I didn't hope, as it were. "Yep," Jill said, which made me feel not-worse, since it wasn't who I hoped it wasn't, which like I said was a lot of people. *** 06:57 23 Feb "I could do this all day," I sighed into Nicole's hair. "We'd freeze," she mentioned into my ear, the not-infected one. "I am SO tempted to skip..." Dash home, evade Dad, get into my room and/or shower, screw, sleep, screw, fix food, eat, sleep, screw... "Me too," she agreed. "Oh, hey, did you want to go see Titanic again?" she asked as she pulled loose. "Oh, sure; can't get enough of that movie," I said deadpan, which made her laugh. "No, really, did you?" She smirked and added, "MOM said if I went to see it again, I could stay out later, sometime this week..." "Well, if you want to," I agreed. *** 07:02 23 Feb "You never had a date's parents meet your parents before, though, did you?" Kim asked me. "Wh- Oh, no, I guess not," I realized. "Oh, shit." "Big step," she assured me. "Oh god. I'm STILL not sure if we're actually DATING or not." "WHAT?!" *** 08:15 23 Feb "I mean, seriously, we gotta talk," I told Nicole. "Not like you have to decide anything in particular, but I just... I mean... I just need to put a NAME on what we're doing, and then find the boundaries." Nicole looked at me skeptically and encouraged, "Liiiike..." "PDAs. PDAs in school. How much calling is too much. Do we see other people? What's the limit there? Um..." I shook my head. "One of the things the, uh, the girls have mentioned, is something they called 'scripts', like-" "Oh, haha, like we're in a television show or something?" No one would dare show my life on television. For one thing, most of my female friends weren't thin enough for television; they were too healthy. Nicole was healthy. Well, her weight was. "Not really, but... I mean..." I sighed. "This is really complicated. Are you gonna be home tonight?" "Yeah?" "I think we need to have," I sighed, "a Big Talk." She made a face which told me she was looking forward to this about as much as I was. "Yeah, I know," I said. "But, I mean, if we get it clear NOW, maybe neither of us'll end up crying for a week solid LATER." I really really hoped I could avoid that. Her face wiggled to indicate that yes, she'd prefer not to end up crying for a week, but did I really think that was possible? "If you're thinking party for a month and I'm thinking marriage forever, then yeah," I pointed out. "But I'm NOT thinking that and neither are YOU, right?" "I don't THINK so, but- I mean, maybe we'll just spend a lot of time nodding at each other tonight, but we ought to make SURE we're on the same page." "Same page of the script?" "Yeah..." I was having a wild idea, or a burst of inspiratons, that someone ought to actually write this stuff out, so you could refer to it, like an RFC; so you could say 'relationship type 21' and everyone would know what you were talking about, and where the boundaries were. Except, that was too useful a concept to actually work in real life. *** 11:31 23 Feb "Yeah, but there'd be so many exceptions to it it'd be useless," Mike said. "And what would you call what YOU'RE doing?" Sabrina asked. I said, "We're gonna have a talk tonight to figure that out." Sabrina yelped, "What?" Then she actually squealed and hugged me. And Mike was giving me a thumbsup and grinning. I wondered what the hell was going on. "What the hell are you doing?" Nicole complained from somewhere that wasn't Sabrina. "You're gonna talk!" Sabrina crowed as she let go of me and, no lie, hugged Nicole. "How'd you get him to do it?" "What?" I was glad someone else was confused. *** 11:36 23 Feb "Because, you idiot freak of melanin deficiency, how many fuckups have YOU caused by not TALKING about this stuff?" "What about you?" I protested. Mike claimed, "I know exactly what Jill and I are doing." "Oh yeah? What?" I demanded. "We're pretending we're dating until one of us finds someone else we don't know as well and we'd like to try them." That made no sense. After a few moments, though, it made less than no sense. "WHAT?!?" He actually stopped and turned to face me. "Okay, look; we COULD talk about it here, but I'd rather not, with the fish and everything. Call you later at work?" I sighed, but that was probably for the best. Plus I had homework to do... I ALWAYS had homework to do. Though, today, I also had chili, and some extra cornbread, and best of all, a long-handled spoon. *** 15:40 23 Feb "Yesss!" Ms. Parker had gotten ginger like I'd asked her to, which meant I could make up some over here as well. *** 16:29 23 Feb Ricky's eyes got big as the ginger bored into his tongue. "Told you," I smirked. "You have to eat this all the TIME?" he gasped in shock, or pain. "You know how I look tired and upset sometimes lately? That's why." "Oh man," he said, and then the little rat hugged me. *** 16:38 23 Feb "Yeah," Mike drawled, "s'cuz'm such a Chinese stud." "Pull the other one, it's got bells on," I quoted from somewhere. He laughed a bit, then said normally, "Yeah... No, I think she just... I mean, like she said on V-day; she was lonely, I was there, and she trusted me. Trusts me." "Okay, but that was then-" "Yeah, but... Same thing, I think. I'm LIKE a date, except I'm a lot cheaper and there's not much point in impressing each other. I mean we do, but it's utter BS." "Like your nine inch d-" *Not in front of children,* I remembered before I said something. He laughed. "Yeah, like that. We're not taking it seriously. So, like, if she says how she's got guys clawing at the front door trying to get in-" "Observably not true," I put in. "Yeah. Or I mention my multi-million dollar trust fund, or something." "Okay..." "So are you ACTUALLY going to TALK to Nicole tonight?" I sighed. "Assuming nothing else goes wrong. Please stand by for lightning strike." *** 18:22 23 Feb Miz Parker asked, "Oh, could you sit late Friday night? David has a work party, and we both have to go." "What," I teased, "you don't want to take Ricky to a party with a bunch of stockbrokers? And you know Stella would charm the money out of 'em." Stella burbled something in appreciation of being mentioned, or maybe at the thought of money. Miz Parker smiled in appreciation of my wit. "I don't think so, unfortunately." "Sure, I can work," I agreed, though I had a pang. But Nicole could come over Saturday night. *** 20:39 23 Feb I had not yet been hit by lightning, and time was running out. "Hi," I said to Ms. Petersen when she opened the door. *Too late!* She arched her eyebrows at me. "I- We, Nicole and I, were going to talk tonight to define, or try to," I had to admit, "our relationship. Whatever it is." "Oh. That's actually a good idea," she agreed. "I've been getting smarter, I hope," I said. "May I come-" "Oh! Oh, sorry," she apologized as she shook her head and stepped back and opened the door. "Wasn't thinking there for a minute." "School, babysitting, cooking, duhhhhh," I sort of agreed as I put my arms out in front of me like a zombie. "Are you sure you want to have a relationship talk if you're that, um." "I have no time until the weekend, and that's too long." Plus, if I went back on having The Talk now, I'd get so much shit... "Tuck!" said Nicole, before she said, "Oh." "It's not that bad!" I claimed as I belatedly put my arms back down. She rolled her eyes, which made her mom chuckle. "Anyway," her mom said, "would you mind leaving your door open, please?" She turned to me and said, "I... don't feel comfortable with the two of you..." She didn't say the words, but I heard 'having sex' anyway. "... alone, in my HOUSE," she emphasized. "But we're NOT in trouble for doing it- ANYTHING, at HIS house, RIGHT?" Nicole emphasized. Ms. Petersen nodded, looking kind of tired. Then she pointed a finger at her head and indicated her sanity was not at an acceptable level. "Oh good," I said when I realized that I wasn't in trouble. Then I realized what it sounded like I said, and I thought frantically for a fraction of a second, but I must not have been as bogged as I thought because I came up with, "So I'm not totally outclassed after MY day." *** 20:42 23 Feb It did smell like cigarettes in here, quite a lot, but I'd been fortified with extra ginger, so I didn't barf. Or even really want to, except 'want' implied it was conscious lately, which it hadn't been. Also I'd had some of dinner this time, which might be helping. "Did you eat?" I asked her. "Oh, yeah; we're saving the chili for tomorrow, though; I hope that's okay." "Oh, yeah, sure. I fixed something else for dinner tonight at the- the babysitting place," I altered out of reflex. "Meatloaf again." "Meatloaf AGAIN?" she whined. "YOU have not had MY meatloaf," I told her. She raised her eyebrows and smirked, "Not yet. Oh wait, I did- well, your mom's recipe. Is that the same?" I nodded. "So I did. It was gooood," she assured me. Pause. "Come here, slut," I told her as I bounced up and towards her and caught her and hugged her. She protested faintly, "Don't call me 'slut' in front of my mom," as she hugged me back. Then she giggled, and said, "I guess that's like the first rule, right?" "Yeah," I said when I let go, which took a while. Pam was right; I was clingy. "That was basically the idea, I mean about talking tonight. I mean, I know it sounds scary... but I didn't do it too many times, before, and got..." She nodded. "Yeah, I guess. Mom was pretty happy with it, I guess. Said she was proud of me for being adult about it." "But we should do it anyway," I teased. "Hahaha," she chuckled politely. "So..." Pause. Nicole said, "Um," and bit her lip. Pause. *This is not going well so far...* "Okay," I tried. "Maybe... I should say what I want, I mean like totally optimistically, ideally, and then we can kind of modify that downwards?" "Wh- Oh, okay, yeah," she nodded. And looked at me expectantly. I took a breath. "Okay... Um. Okay, first, I'd rather have the affection than the sex, really- Oh, wait, I was supposed..." She'd gone all bug-eyed. "Okay, I'm lame," I told her. "But," she said. "Do you... I mean..." "I DO want the sex," I assured her. "I guess I was prioritizing too early." "Ummm. Yeah." "Okay." "Ideal, right?" she reminded me. "Right. Okay." I took a quick breath and jumped, so to speak. "Sex, cuddles, PDAs, you are friends with me at school, and we can hug and stuff, maybe kissing but not too far, at SCHOOL 'cause, y'know-" "Right. No sex at school." "Right. Um... I can call about as much as I have been. I'd like SOME time for myself, but I do a lot of that in the mornings. Maybe see you, like a date-like thing once or maybe twice a week? It really sucks I work so much and so late, but I kind of... Well, I do, anyway," I said. "What about gifts?" "Wh- Oh. Well, I like presents," I admitted, and she giggled. "Um, have I... too much?" "Well, no, but I don't know what to get you, or..." "Well, like, that scarf? If you didn't like it, you could give it back." "And then you could give it to the next girl in line," she teased, and punched me lightly in the arm. "Ow," I acknowledged. "Oh, more serious hitting? Than that? Don't do that." "No. No abuse or anything." "No... although, it's more like, if you start like really punching or kicking me or whatever, I'm gonna do it back, and I... don't always play nice." I played fair, if I was 'practicing' with friends or family; but experience had shown that what I thought was restrained and had rules, others often thought was serious, pissed-off, possibly leading to criminal charges. My family and friends just played hard. "Oookay." "What you just did was okay, but I mean, if you really punch me, I might punch you back... or grab you and throw you, or-" "Like judo and stuff?" "Kind of, yeah, except not as wussy as judo. Ju-jitsu, if you know the difference." She didn't. "Let's not get into that. Um... What about you?" "Welllll," she said as she looked away and grabbed her knee with both hands, pulling it up on her bed. "Okay, so... we stay friends if we stop with the sex and stuff." "Yeah," I agreed. "Oh good," she sighed. "Um. What if some guy asks me out? I mean like if I want to go out with him?" "Um... Okay, you don't break a date- or whatever we call it - without like calling and asking first. Oh, this goes BOTH ways, okay? I mean, everything I said, you get, and vice versa. Just 'cause you're a girl doesn't mean you get special treatment compared to me." She teased, "Awww, why not?" "'Cause mine," I hefted where my breasts would've been visible if I hadn't been wearing my armor, "are bigger than yours-" "They are NOT!" she shrieked happily. "You LIAR!" Then her face got all conspiratorial. "Oh, hey, can-" I interrupted, "No, and especially not here, not with the door open." Because I knew what she was thinking; she wanted to put one of her bras on me. "Oh right," she said, apparently having forgotten the door rule. "No, bad idea." "Right." "Okay, so, like, you have ALL those girls that like hug and kiss you and stuff, so, like-" "I can't make 'em do it to you," I grinned. "No! Dork!" She fake-punched me on the shoulder again. "I mean, if I had a guy do that, you'd be okay with it, right?" "Um..." I closed my eyes to think about it. "Actually, I'd be a little hurt, but you're allowed to do it anyway. I'll just tough it out," I grinned. "Seriously?" "Yeah. Does it hurt your feelings when they do it to me?" She opened her mouth and stopped, then said, "Well, yeah, a little I guess... I mean, they kind of look like they're dating you, like that Kathy last night?" "Yeah, I know. So if someone did that to you, I'd feel kind of-" "Like a LITTLE hurt?" she emphasized. "Yeah. But I don't really- Plus, the chances of me actually getting any of them to STOP is like zero," I realized. "So, we just suck it up." "I kind of wish I had friends like that," she said. "Well, now you do," I said back, and grabbed her hand and squeezed it a little. "Awww," she said, and hugged me again. *** 21:31 23 Feb We'd gotten things really settled, I thought, and after that, we'd been sort of unsettled, except in a totally different way; and so I'd escorted Nicole out for the I-guess-it's-inevitable-with-her cigarette, and then we came back in - I couldn't smell the house nearly as much when we did - and cuddled for a while in her room. Well, with a little necking. Until I got to the point where I was actually thinking about asking her mom if we could shut the door, and wondering if I had any condoms in my pack, at which point I had to say, "Nicole, I think I'd better go." "Ohhhh, no," she whined. "Or," and I had to lean close, which got me kissed again, which did not help my resolve at ALL, "I'm gonna have to fuck you again." She twitched at that. "Ohhh," she growled, and then pulled me close without doing anything else for a while. "Yeah, damnit, I REALLY want to right now..." "And not in your mom's house," I agreed. "Damnit. Why can't-" "Don't," I warned her. "It's enough she's letting you come over, knowing what we're doing. Don't fuck it up by pushing her too hard." "Nnnnnnnnnnnn!!!" she whined in frustration before pushing me away. "I hate you! Both!" "I know," I sighed. "And we never did see Titanic tonight." She laughed. "Okay... Wanna go see it Wednesday?" I was about to say yes when I thought of something, and said instead, "Only if you dress nice for me." "What?" "Just once." Then I laughed. "Just to make sure you CAN!" "Ahhh!" she shrieked in protest. "You DORK!" *** 21:46 23 Feb "Oh, er," I said when Ms. Petersen appeared in the doorway. "Uh, Nicole? It's your mom?" "What? Oh here, this is the one-" "Don't-" I called, but it was too late, she'd already come out of her closet with no top on. Holding one in front of her didn't count. What was worse, she wasn't wearing a bottom either, and while I thought she was holding one of those, it was way higher than where it should've been. "Aghh!Mom!" she spazzed as she tried to do something, I don't know what, and ended up flashing her mom. Maybe; I closed my eyes when she came out. "What are you DOING?!" was otherwise a reasonable question, but I wished like hell Ms. Petersen wasn't asking it. "He didn't think I could dress up!" "I was TEASING her," I insisted. "SHE's the one that decided she had to show me." "Liar! You MADE me change clo-" "Oh that is such bullshit!" burst out of my mouth, partially driven by the fear that Ms. Petersen would believe it. "Seriously-" "Stop," Ms. Petersen commanded, and I did. And flinched, because I still had my eyes shut and was afraid that there was going to be a hand- "You can open your eyes; she's hiding in the closet." I did, as Nicole complained, "I'm putting something on!" Ms. Petersen looked rather amused. Which was good, I guess; way WAY better than if her eyes were glowing red, f'rinstance, or turning Crinos. Nicole's head poked around the door and she said, sullenly, "We WEREN'T doing anything." "I know." "Then what do you WANT?" I winced, because this was about the point my mom would've started lecturing me. "I was going to mention that it's getting kind of late, and maybe Tucker should think about heading home?" she said, starting to get steamed. But it stopped there, which was a great relief. "Wh-?" I checked my watch. "Oh, yeah. I mean, my curfew's later, but, I guess- Hey, does her curfew apply if she's home?" Ms. Petersen just looked at me. "Or is that one of those stupid questions?" She nodded at me. Firmly. "Plus she needs to sleep." "Sleep is good," I was forced to admit. "Mom, can we go out Wednesday and see a movie? Since he doesn't get off until late..." "What time do you get off?" Ms. Petersen asked me. "Uh, well," I calculated, "about eight or so, and then I have to come over here." I couldn't bill for the changing time I spent at Rachel's, but it was best to add it in for discussion purposes. "AND you go to school?" she confirmed. "And I have chores at home, and then I occasionally want to do something social," I nodded and sighed. This was probably why my life felt so hard. "He's in training to be a single mom," Nicole felt it necessary to say. And then she started giggling. I sighed at her, "You are such a big help." *** 23:11 23 Feb *My poor abused ears,* I thought as I tried to squeeze pus out of the infected hole again. *** 03:13 24 Feb Of course, if I could stop sleeping entirely, I'd have a lot more time to do things. Though that had likely occurred to a lot of people before, at least after the invention of cheap lighting, and it hadn't worked yet. Still, I could do some synth practice, and stretch, and do some other exercise-y things, and some chores, and make lunches, and even some homework if I had to. So it was almost worth getting my intestines pulled out regularly. Well, no, it wasn't, actually. *** 06:10 24 Feb "You really need to switch around to dating Tuesday-Thursday- Saturday," Pam claimed in my voicemail, "so we can do dance Monday- Wednesday-Friday. You need to do it at least three days a week to get any good. Or would you rather do it Tuesday-Thursday-Saturday? Except my parents STILL won't let me drive yet," she snarled, "so I can't get there Saturdays. Anyway, let me know, okay? Bye!" "Twenty one oh nine, twenty three February," said my system, and recited the phone number from Caller ID. "What, you're out with her AGAIN?" Kathy complained. "Are you gonna be home tomor- Tuesday night? We'll call, bye," #click#. "Jesus, Kath, kiss my ass," I complained. "I don't keep track of YOU when YOU'RE dating!" Which made me wonder if I should. I could certainly do a better job of it than any of them could, if I could invest the surveillance equipment. Then again, there were legal issues about privacy, some of them would attempt to kick my ass if they found out, it would cost money for the equipment, and most importantly, I was pretty sure Mike wouldn't go for it. *** 06:37 24 Feb As we came out, I noticed, "Oh, shit, it's snowing again." "Great," Jill groaned. "I'll never get to ride my bike again!" "Oh, you will," I assured her, because global warming ought to put a stop to this snow bullshit. *** 06:56 24 Feb "Thursday?" Nicole confirmed. "It'd be better, yeah," I mentioned. "I guess..." Nicole asked, "So what do you do with her?" "Oh man," Jill inserted herself, "it's pretty interesting. Hey Tuck, I was wondering, do you want to try running in the mornings? Before school? 'Cause I was wondering, about you and maybe Mike? If you wanted to?" "Oh god," I sighed. That was too many questions. "I mean, I don't have enough time as it is." "Just half an hour. And it'd keep your weight down," she said, like that was supposed to be a benefit. "Seriously it would," Nicole added, and giggled. "Wha- Maybe YOU should! I'm still trying to GAIN weight, remember?" I wondered if I'd ever see the high side of fifty-four kilos again. The recurring nausea wasn't helping. Nicole asked, "What, seriously?" Jill nodded looking sour, and Kim looked even less happy about it. "It's NOT my FAULT!" I insisted. *** 11:52 24 Feb "I guess I have to kill him," I said. "Well?" "Try to shift to Crinos instantly," because that gave me lots of advantages, "and- No, wait! Spend a turn working on Luna's Armor..." I paged through my character dossier until I found the rules for it. "Spend one Gnosis, roll Stamina plus Survival - that's, uh..." I had to look back for Survival, "four dice - and target six. Each success adds one to Stamina for soaking damage. I think I'll spend a Willpower for an extra success too. And while I'm doing it, I'll look like I'm cowed or afraid of him. Like Acting." "Roll 'em," Mike indicated, and I rolled ten, five, one, and five. "One success, and my Charmed Existence merit wipes the one. And, Self-Confident gives me back the Willpower. Two successes." I wasn't sure it had been worth the Gnosis point, but that was the point of rolling dice; you couldn't be sure until you did it. If you wanted to be sure, you should be doing creative writing, not gaming. "So roll to see if you act wimpy," Mike insisted. "Manipulation plus Subterfuge." "What's the target?" "Oh, gee, I don't know," Mike grinned. "Asshole." I rolled five dice, and got one, four, one, eight, and ten. Mike observed, "Not real good, though." "It counts for something!" I hoped. "Charmed Existence wipes one of the ones, and the other cancels the eight, leaving the ten!" I just hoped I didn't need more than one success. "Okay, so, he doesn't believe you, but he's not real sure what you're doing, so he just smirks at you," the corporate bastard, "and that's that turn. Next?" "Shift instantly to Crinos, spending a Willpower for an automatic success..." I loved my Self-Confidence merit. "You gonna use a Rage point?" "Nope." I might need them in the fight... since, with Mike, you could never assume ANYTHING was what it seemed. "Roll, uh-" "Stamina plus Primal Urge, difficulty seven to go from human to Crinos." George inserted. Well, he'd know; he'd been doing that a lot. I rolled four dice, getting six-four-three-ten, which was enough to get over the Glabro hump, as it were, and then to Crinos, and gave me my Willpower back - I LOVED my Self-Confidence merit - and then I was nine feet tall with teeth and claws and I was going to skull-fuck this asshole- "Meanwhile, two tentacles come out from under the desk," Mike said, "and wrap around your ankles." "Uh oh," George grinned. "Never trust ANYONE wearing a tie," I sighed. *** 12:13 24 Feb It had been a bitch of a fight, but I'd managed to wipe out the - surprise! - Wyrm-enhanced manager and his office staff, including the cutie secretary who had not been so cute after I'd had to hit her with a desk and thus disrupted her human seeming. "So I pull out the spray paint, and put up some- Oh, no, wait, I shift back to Glabro first." My Fair Glabro merit meant I looked more like a football player than a horror movie villain. JUST in case someone came in. "Then I spraypaint Christian extremist stuff all over the walls." We'd been dealing with - among other nastiness - Pentex- sponsored and -enhanced pseudo-Baptists, or hyper-Baptists, since last year; it was only fair to return the favors. "Especially the anti- abortion stuff; I want to make it look like pro-lifers killed them." "Oh, Tuck, that's not very nice," Mike fake-chided me, as snickers arose from the others. Many of whom had been trying to kill me, playing temporarily as Antagonists. "Yeah, well, I'm a werewolf, what can I say?" "Rrrar!" was the general answer to my stupid rhetorical question. *** 12:16 24 Feb Kim's new character - her old one had been relegated to semi-NPC status, since she was awfully fragile compared to the rest of us werewolves and vampires - was a Black Fury Metis with a GM-special shapechange-for-disguise merit who'd been acting as a very nasty serial killer, taking women's forms and infiltrating male bastions of power, or acting as a prostitute, to get to her victims. Then she'd eat them. I didn't know about anyone else, but I was now permanently wary of actual prostitutes, if I ever encountered one in real life, because it WAS too easy to kill people that way. And there was no way I'd actually employ one. Which might've been Kim's 'clever plan'. But she (her character, anyway) could act 'normal', and dress normal, and so we had a duplicate secretary in the outer office, as the rest of us ransacked the files for information. Mike dinged the play bell and announced, "Good enough for today. I'll write up what you've gotten and give it to you next time." "Oh man," I sighed as I stretched. *** 16:35 24 Feb "Oh, man, do I love doing laundry," I lied to myself. But at least it got done, if I did it. Clean panties were not to be sneezed at. *** 19:57 24 Feb "'Cause, man, she's so hot," Mike leered, though at me which I thought was unfair. "Besides, if I start doing the dance stuff, maybe I can keep up with Kathy." "Oh, you've got aerobics with her, right?" Pam confirmed. "Yeah, this is pretty aerobic. Or it can be." "Dude," Mike grinned as he rubbed his hands. "Oh, hey," he said to me, "did Jill mention running in the mornings?" "Did she mention it'll be around six A.M.?" I questioned. Mike nodded. "Yeah. I mean, YOU'RE already up; I just don't know if I want to do it." "Rrrrrrr!" Pam growled. "I don't have a fucking car!" Then she noticed my dad. "Uh." "Too late," Dad called at her without looking up. Which made Sabrina look back at us, wondering what was going on. "Why don't we go outside," I suggested. *** 21:02 24 Feb "We ought to just all move in together," Sabrina said. "Then we wouldn't have to waste time traveling." "Oh yeah," Mike panted. "Great idea. Do I get to move in too?" "Someone's gotta take care of Val," she grinned. "Fuck," gasp, "you!" Besides, it wasn't working; everything hurt. Especially my breasts. Mike snapped at me, "Ask Nicole-" "OH!" all three of them shouted at once as they remembered Nicole. *Oh fuck...* Well, at least I HAD talked to her. *** 21:43 24 Feb "Uh oh. TIME!" Sabrina said as she noticed the time. "Uh, can I use your phone?" "Sure," I said, pointing at the wimp phone. "Pam?" "Yeah I'd better," she sighed. "Dude, we really should move in together," Jill nodded in agreement. "And make Tuck cook!" all four of them said at once, like I knew was going to happen. I complained, "You just like seeing me in that stupid apron." "You look so sexy in it," Mike said deadpan, which made Pam giggle and Jill make vomiting motions. "Shh!" Sabrina insisted. *** 23:01 24 Feb Well, at least my ear wasn't infected any more, that I could tell. *** 03:13 25 Feb Maybe because all the pus had gone into my dreams and infected THEM. They had been really gross tonight, anyway. I wondered if it was too early for some ginger, or whether I should wait an hour after vomiting before trying a dose. *** 06:02 25 Feb "Oh, sure, why not?" I said, stupidly. "I mean, the worst that'll happen is I croak, and you have to drag my body back home." "Nah, I'll steal your car and drive back to where I left you. Oh, and I get a day off school 'cause of the trauma," Jill claimed. "So do you want to go or not?" "Coming, coming," I sighed, and got my breath mask so I could breathe hard in the cold air without having an asthma attack. *** 06:05 25 Feb "Because I'm going to get really hot," I told Jill as I shut my car door, "and I don't want to get sweaty. It's better to be cold than wet, in this weather. Are we going?" I smarted off to her before I started to run, away from my car down the driveway and out into the street. Because it WAS cold as hell, and the only way I was going to get warm was to get moving. Well, or go back inside. "Bitch," she commented when she caught up. *** 06:29 25 Feb I didn't know how far we'd run, doing laps on our street-block, but it was enough, not entirely surprisingly, to make me both hypoxic and barf. Which naturally triggered enough asthma that I had to use my inhalers, except I had to wait until I was sure I wasn't going to vomit before I could, which extra time did not make the asthma better. This was undoubtedly why people who exercised a lot were thin; they effectively went bulemic and didn't digest the food they ate. Assuming they didn't die, of course, which probably happened a lot. Jill looked really upset, though. I ended up using my inhalers, one at a time, with one hand, and squeezing her hand to reassure her with the other hand. Which seemed a little unfair; I was the one vomiting and all, so why was _I_ reassuring HER? Shouldn't SHE be reassuring ME? Except, if I croaked, I would sort of be exempt from punishment from Mom and Dad, whereas she definitely would not be. *** 06:57 25 Feb "So, y'know, when I can't be with you," Nicole said. I looked at the stupid plush stuffed pig, and the card strung around its neck that said, "I love you every day we have endorfens," and almost started to cry. "That is seriously fucking sick," Jill said in admiration. Nicole added, "An' I got a pig 'cause if you keep feeding me like that, I'm gonna end up round like a beach ball." *** "Men, and pigs, are hard on women who sacrifice their virtue, especially for love." -- Mattis Tannhouser Distribution: No part of this work may be distributed as an original work by another person or group. Permission is given to redistribute this by electronic means, as long as the entirety of the work (from the BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE header to the END PGP SIGNATURE footer) is distributed, and credit is given to the original author, me. And no fee may be charged. Archiving is permitted provided no fee is charged for access. All rights reserved. + @>--,--'----- Ellen Hayes o===[-------- __ vicki .sig + -=[1990]=- \/ virus 14.1 + http://www.barkingduck.net/ehayes PGP key: EFC9 5D55 (1996) + -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: 2.6.2 iQCVAwUBUZD8pHYDebnvyV1VAQF8awP+K/E10mYOzbIa6U+lhNSJYjt4g4Nccy5L 1wl2EtUjagUNaYhsT5xKBft7VMk+WQx2YCTNOaJaWdxjzc5Vxi5AFL2P/UbflYzp yICZbUY8c4mGeNwiWubbVVtg6gTm2eqT6CjOS3AWU1dY/Fyx6A5+gRjDFzrYUK1k bPyccNOXnkk= =yzVM -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----