18 Feb 2003. Tuck, Facing the Real Thing Copyright 2002 by Caylin Greer & Ellen Hayes This is a work of fiction. The characters therein are taken from Ellen Hayes' "Saga of Tuck." Anyway, go read that first (http://www.barkingduck.net/ehayes), or you'll have no clue of what is really going on. Then read Tuck the Real Thing found in the fan fic section. This episode takes place in the summer of '99, two years after Travis and Valerie had their talk about him knowing about her secret and both of them becoming an item for real. [addendum requested by author - this story is a sequel to Valerie Emmanuelle's "Tuck The Real Thing" ] Disclaiming stuff: The characters used and the format of the story are Ellen's creation. This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and possibly sex. If you are legally not allowed to read materials containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading this. I am not responsible. Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish, state, and country. All rights reserved Tuck, Facing the Real Thing *** 03:16 15 Jul There was no light on in Dad's study, but there was a small light on in the living room. This was not a good sign. Sounded as if someone were reading a book. This late, in the living room, would only be Mom or Susan; but Susan was still away at school, so my guess was that I had just gotten into big trouble. Oh well, it had been worth it. Mmmmmmmm. *** 03:17 15 Jul It was Mom--or someone who looked just like her. She was sitting on the couch, wrapped in an afghan and reading a hardcover book. Setting next to her on the side table was a bottle of wine and glasses. The way the glasses looked, I would say she hadn't had very much. Darn, wine would have mellowed her. *** 03:18 15 Jul Leaning in from the hall to the living room just a bit, I quietly said "Hi." Mom looked up. "I'm sorry, I know I'm late. I was out and got carried away--." "You finished school," Mom interupted "you don't have a curfew any longer." "..." "!" I could have stayed the night! I didn't say aloud. I hoped. *** 03:20 15 Jul "Come here and sit" Mom said, holding up one side of the afghan. It appeared an invitation, not an instruction. I set my pack down and walked over. Settled in. Mom lowered her arm onto my shoulders encouraging the afghan to enclose us like one big coat. I don't know what was being set up to happen, but with my luck it couldn't be good. *** 03:21 15 Jul "The girls--" "No" Mom cut me off. "I don't want any lies tonight, please." "Wha--" my instinctual reaction ever ready to increase any trouble I may be in. "No" Mom cut me off again "If you say 'Someone May...', before something happens it isn't a lie. If you say you did when you know you didn't, it's not a misdirection, it's a lie." I looked at the toes of my shoes and decided I had better shut up. I didn't know exactly what trouble I was in but I was not in a hurry to make it worse. Not if I had a choice. Then again, I'd never had THIS treatment before so could I make it any worse? *** 03:24 15 Jul "Let me peek" Mom said. She pulled the strap of the tank forward and tipped her head to get a view of the material of my bra. "Um-Hmm" Mom used her foot to hook one of my legs and lift it up high enough to clearly see my ankle. The white hose shown brightly even in the dim lamp light. "Umm-Hmm" She had that look again. The one she had had all day. Maybe I could just curl up and slide into a coma? Where is this going to go--and how soon before I heard that I'm truely grounded until I reached retirement? Mom's right arm, still around my shoulders, reached down and pulled the bottom of the tank top up to my navel; then her left hand rolled the top of my jeans down an inch or two. The white lace garter belt was clearly visible and identifiable. "Oh! Nice choice" said Mom. "I hope you didn't greet him in the jeans and tank." Nope, coma won't work. I'd have to come back from that eventually. Could I just die now? *** 03:25 15 Jul "Well, _I_ would think something nicer would be a good strategy, but if you really know where you stand you could always just not have anything on but the underwear." "Lingerie" I sounded defeated, even to myself. "Excuse me?" "Lingerie, Sab would have a fit if I let you called this set underwear" Though it may make all the difference if I called it underwear when trying to get Jill to wear it. I'll have to try that. "I wore a nice dress, it's in my pack." Silence returned. Brooding silence. *** 03:29 15 Jul "So, was it Mike?" Mom pressed. "Mike?" I was confused. Mom stretched the word adding a 'Duh' inflection. "Tonight" Tonight. Her look. Like she knew. She knew I was going to... With Mike? "What?!? No! Mikes my BROTHER." "Ok, well maybe to you, but not genetically" replied Mom. She sounded WAY to calm for talking about such incest. "Besides," I said "he and Kim are an item" ...and they still have enough to workout between them without stirring me into the mix. *** 03:33 15 Jul "Do I know him?" asked Mom "I guess I should know better than to assume by now. Is it a him?" I looked at her sharply. "why do you..." That was dumb. "What do..." Nope, wrong question. I decided that my mouth wasn't helping and for once managed to convince it to lay off. I continued to look at my mother while the passage of horrible thoughts, I was sure was leaving evidence in my facial expressions which would almost certainly by published in most national magazine's upcoming issues. I had actually been feeling much less humiliated lately so I guess I was overdue. *** 03:35 15 Jul "Let's pretend," Mom said slowly and gently "that we both believe we are two emotionally stable adults, just for tonight." Great! Now I had to wonder which of us was to be imagining and which was supposed to be.... Too many qualifiers. Leave that one alone! That way be madness. She just wants you to be nice. Be nice! *** 03:39 15 Jul "I just...." Mom hesitated. "I didn't really get to be close to Susan about her loves. She pulled back into herself about it after...." yeah. Carlos, the bastard. "And," she continued "even as adaptable as you have shown yourself to be, you don't really have years of experience as a woman, so I'll always worry more for you." This just picked right back up from the hug and looks this afternoon. Where to go? How much to say? As inviting as this was, she was still a parental unit and wouldn't that make this a trick to obtain a confession? *** 03:41 15 Jul Mom handed me one of the wine glasses. It was about half full. I immediately scanned all the dry areas for residual powder. nothing. No residue floated on the surface. Nothing in the dimple where the stem met the bowl. She had either passed me the wrong glass or had been meticulous about stirring in the poison. Then again, either way, one of us wouldn't be here in the morning, so maybe it would turn out alright after all. I started sipping, wondering how much this particular poison was supposed to hurt. *** 03:44 15 Jul "Him?" coaxed Mom pause I relented. "Him." *** 03:45 15 Jul "Do I know... Him?" Mom asked "One of..." "no" I said softly. I felt more defeated. *** 03:46 15 Jul "Well, you should bring him around. Maybe for dinner Sunday." "aw... Mom!" "Euge-- Valerie" Mom said sternly "You know how we feel about whom our children see. And you know why. Only too well." *And I am now just as likely as Susan to run into....* "No mater how old you are, You still live in MY house," Mom intoned. "some rules don't stop when you graduate." "Brian will--" "Only till you give 'him' a good long kiss" Mom supplied. "Yeah." I grinned. "Oh, that shock will only delay the ridicule, but it may be enough." Then again, if I started to kiss Travis, I may simply not stop. *** 03:49 15 Jul "So, Him?" Mom prodded. "May I get a name?" "You don't have one of your own that you like?" I automatically challenged. *** 03:53 15 Jul Mom had waited a bit. Probably counting. Probably in prime numbers which she really would have hated. The last quip really could not have helped the situation. Maybe a button could be surgically installed which I would have to press before my mouth could dump whatever happened to pass through the buffer at any point in time. *** 03:56 15 Jul "Could I please get HIS name, or would you prefer I call him 'HE' and 'HIM' when I manage to get HIM transported here for interrogation?" mom smiled sweetly. *** 03:59 15 Jul "Travis" I finally responded when I could move my mouth, breathe, and felt I could successfully stop profanity in a remotely simultaneous fashion. *** 04:00 15 Jul "I know you want us to be careful, I am careful," I Said "Travis has been through at least as much screening as anyone else any of your offspring has ever seen." No matter how _I_ felt about it. "The pack grilled him and Mike checked him and even Susan checked him out. She said she wanted second dibs actually...." "Susan checked him? Susan hasn't been back here long enough since..." Mom paused in thought. "Susan went to New York last summer, when did she check him out?!?" Uh oh. "Two years ago" I offered quietly. I tensed preparing for the explosion. *SHE's the one who wanted honesty* *** 04:02 15 Jul "... Two?" asked Mom, way to quiet. "Years?" asked Mom " Sssa? yearzzz?" *Shit.* "When you first found out about...your medical...Problems?" asked Mom startled. "A little after. Tonight was our two-year anniversary. Sort of" Mom's mouth sort of 'O'ed then she brought her other arm around. I closed my eyes preferring not to see the punch coming. Nothing yet, she must prefer strangulation for this offence. I felt mom's arms surround me, but at shoulder level as if she were only going to hug me. *** 04:04 15 Jul A hug was all it seemed to be, so I was finding myself completely out of my element. I opened one eye and risked a glance at Mom. She looked a bit teary. What did I do THIS time? *You mean other than lie to her and not include her in your life for two years?* *** 04:06 15 Jul I wasn't dead yet--but was still trapped in the hug. I risked opening both eyes and looked at mom. "Auhhhh...." I asked. "You have an anniversary with someone who loves you and I haven't been able to meet him yet?" Mom sniffled in explanation. "Well. I didn't think things would go well, introducing you at the time," I explained before I could manage to shut up. "I had some problems then and had done some dumb things already." "Wait a minute," said Mom "Two years! Did he meet you as.... Did you....Just when did you start being Valerie?" Still holding me, Mom pulled back and focused on me activating 'evil eye' mode. I was beginning to appreciate how deceptively simple an afghan could be when used as restraining netting. "When did I first meet her, or when did I start to become her?" I asked Searching around in my brain, hoping to find a clue leading to some miracle or the possibly that this was one of the good old nightmare I used to always have before fixing this problem and becoming Valerie all the time. *** 04:11 15 Jul "So Debbie--introduced you, sort of precognizant" said Mom. "Then there was the first diagnosis... You babysat that year. What did do, run somewhere and change before meeting Travis, or did he know and you changed after you...got together?" "Nooo, Yess, No.... Ahch." "Travis knew, he found out before we...started dating." For real at least. "But he knew, sort of only intellectually. He's never met Tuck, Eugene. He only knows Val" "So you had to change between sitting and... dating." Mom persisted. "No." I said cautiously "I always sat as Val." "You WORKED as Valerie? Two years ago?!? I mean, how convincing could you. I mean you had to have been convincing, you WORKED as.... I missed ALL this for THIS long?" Mom seemed to sag where she sat. Great, I had probably just made my mother cry. Again. How am I supposed to ever feel any self worth when every time something starts to go good I do something stupid like this? *** 04:13 15 Jul "Who went to school that year?" asked Mom. "Wha? _I_ did, No...Eugene went to school. Then I'd run over to... a friends and change, go to work, and Travis would often pick me up right from work." She still seemed to like Rachel, no need to screw up THAT friendship too. "Oh, baby" Mom sighed and hugged me again "I'm missing out on as much of your life as I did on Susan's. I'm failing as a mother." What? "Mom, you are not failing. You are the best Mom I've ever had." "Ever!" I insisted. "Eug...Valerie! Oh, I can't even keep my children's names straight" "That part is MY doing, you can't have credit for that one. Try harder." I said. I learned long ago to only take credit for my own mistakes. Sure I did. Any time now. *** 04:18 15 Jul "Brian, get back to bed!" Mom spoke loudly, not quite a shout. I sat in shock for a minute as the silence was broken only by light foot steps going up the stairs. I was so wrapped up I hadn't even heard the little weasel. This state is not supportive of continued survival. *At least he can't blackmail me with anything he heard tonight.* *** 04:19 15 Jul "I'm learning more than I thought I would about YOU, but I want you to tell me about Travis" said Mom. "He's just a guy" I mumbled. "No, he's not" said Mom softly. "No. He's not" I agreed. I hugging myself tightly and could feel the blush rising. I couldn't help feeling awkward. Tell my mother about my boyfriend? "Ok, I don't know how you will see him, but to me he is... wonderful." I finally said. "He likes ME. He Picked me. He Chased after ME. And after all this CRAP I went through and put people through the last few years, he STILL wants to be with ME." I risked a look at Mom and saw her eyes shining as she listened, so I decided to go on for now. "I mean, when I'm with him or even think of him, I feel so... I'm...." I faltered, then sighed I closed my eyes and hugged myself some more. *** 04:22 15 Jul "I don't know the words, but just being with him feels so good. He makes the world right." "He makes the sun--shine" said Mom, but she was looking at her knees and hugging herself as well. I pictured being with Travis and felt the day brighten, felt the warmth he brought. "Yeah," I Sighed, a tear sliding down my cheek. Don't start. Don't start. Don't you start. You'll be blubbering all night if you start now. *** 04:25 15 Jul "What about HIM, what's HE like?" asked Mom. "Oh? Umm. He's normal? Sort of." I Said, a bit lost "I mean, he looks like a Jock, but he likes to read. And likes classical music. Umm. He's still a boy scout." "He looks like a Jock and acts like a Boy Scout? What are YOU trying to compensate for?" asked Mom with a giggle "No. Well...he looks like a Jock, but he doesn't act like...." What do over age sprouts act like? *** 04:26 15 Jul "He IS a Boy Scout, as in he is still a member, a practicing member" --remembering his member, monster member...practicing with his monster member. Get off this track, Mom reads minds RE-member? "Um. Not afraid to show loyalty for his friends. He's polite. Old fashioned polite I think" They will either love him or think he is a figment of my imagination. "I can't bring him here for dinner" I moaned burying my face in my hands "I'll just want to climb up him and suck on his face all night." Amongst other things best left un-membered. Mentioned. "After two years you still feel like that and don't have a ring yet?" "MOM!" A ring! Owned?!? By him? His... Mmmmmmm. Maybe I could get one made up. for his nose? How about lower? "Well, I mean..." Mom started, but she looked like she was fighting awfully hard to not smile. I just whimpered for a while, but in doing so was rewarded with another hug. I was really wondering if this much voluntary humiliation to get so many hugs and gentle adult conversation from a parental unit might be worth pursuing. *** 04:28 15 Jul "I have to meet this guy, you think he is some kind of prince." said Mom. "I don't..." Do I? Well, yea! I guess he is. My Prince Charming. MINE! Hands off! Get your own! I looked over and Mom was shining and smiling again. I gulped some more of the wine. It didn't help. *** 04:33 15 Jul "I'm guessing after a two--year relationship that you didn't have to settle for just a fling with someone for your first." commented Mom, shocking the hell out of me "I always felt that your first was important." I just looked at her for a bit not wanting to risk an accidental historical overview of my entire sexual lifetime. "I know" She seemed to offer in comfort "At least I would think, there are other things you have done, and you were with Debbie, and you had dated before you ever...met Valerie. But tonight you did something you never could before." The evil eye kicked in again. "You did...tonight?" How did I dare tell my MOTHER? No lies, she said. Do I say nothing? Won't that just stab her in the heart? "Yeah" I sighed. I let myself drift back to earlier, but just a little. If this talk went way wrong, as my history shows that it should any second now, I didn't want to taint my wonderful memories of tonight. "Thank you." She said. "for sharing." Oh, God! What am I getting into now? "Just this time." she added "we are not going to put up a scoreboard or anything." *Thank you!* "I just wanted.... You're grown up now, and I hardly know you. I know, to you, so little has really changed, but to some of us--to me--I have still lost Eugene, as though he had died. He is gone and I now have you, but as much as you are the same person, you are Valerie, you are very different from him and I want to be close to my children... even if you are all grown up." "I want to know about you and be a good Mom for you." *** 04:41 15 Jul I don't know why I was feeling so much closer to her. Why do I feel I should trust her more or tell her more just because we sat here and quietly cried for so long? It finally dawned on me that perhaps there wasn't poison in the wine, but truth serum. *** 04:46 15 Jul "Don't you have to work at the shop this morning?" Mom asked. I nodded, That's ok. Since when did _I_ need to sleep? "Shouldn't you get some sleep so you don't cut someone's ear off?" "I'll just tell 'em it's all the rage and that we won't charge them for the modifications" I was grinning now. I'd have to be careful as I must be getting silly. "Come on" she said, unwinding herself. "Let's get some sleep." "Sunday!" She reminded sternly. Hmm. She WOULD find a way to kidnap him. Also wouldn't it be better for me if I could KEEP her on my side? "I'll ask him." I promised feeling a bit defeated again. Who's cooking?" I suspected I already knew the answer. "You are" She grinned. *Thought so.* *This is NOT going back to every week.* "You still want an appointment today, after such a rocky morning and no sleep?" I asked. I really did not want to screw up my mother's hair. again. Not right _now_. "Better that you mess up on me than someone who would sue you" she commented, reading my mind again. Sure everyone, come on in, I never have been big on privacy. "Like you could collect on a settlement anyway" at least my mouth was getting back to normal. "Oh, I could. I could always just raise your rent." She smiled as she let the way up stairs. "Wha?" Nope! Don't ask such stupid questions. If you are dumb enough to ask that one She WILL start charging you rent. *** 04:53 15 Jul So will I dream of Travis and love tonight, or will Mom be dissecting me? Pressing my heart in a keepsake book? No mater how much I worked at understanding my life, it just seems to get weirder. Maybe I should just stay up? I thought, falling across my bed and losing consciousness.