"Time to End It All" by Jay Parrish

Tuck is the copyright of Ellen Hayes, who owns the sole rights to the
characters herein. The author of this story cedes all rights to its
distribution, use, and publication to Hayes so that she may play with it
as she wishes.

My take on the dark side of Tuck 104. What if...?


"Time to End It All" by Jay Parrish


     Kathy found Mike with his head in his hands. Tears weren't falling,
but he looked to be crying, his face tensed and eyes red-rimmed. He
wasn't supposed to go walking alone, but since the police walked the
hallways, he ought to be safe enough.

     *Safe Enough,* she thought, glancing at the 15X30 of Tucker on an
easel, black ribbons tied in a decorative bow beneath the frame.

     Her other friends sat on the first three rows, staying close to
their 'buddies,' an arrangement to keep them from getting separated from
the pack. She thought, when Julia told her about Tuck, that things
wouldn't get worse. His attack, she believed, would be the lynchpin, the
point when the violence against her friends ended.

     But Tuck wasn't alone. There were three other pictures.

     Richard Branton, a freshman she'd never met, found in a bathroom in
the math wing, unconscious of a concussion, dead from never waking up.
Eleanor Withers, whose worse offense to the world was rejecting the
advances of a jock. Kelly Bergquist-

     *Oh God, Kelly!* Tears rose again, even when she felt emotionally
numb. *You took Tuck, God, why did you have to take Kelly, too? Wasn't
one enough? ISN'T NONE ENOUGH!?*

     "Mike," she said, and he snapped his head up. "Don't leave the
group."

     He may have been crying, but his eyes looked like his soul had
vacated. Mike said, when Mr. Tucker told them his son was gone, that
Tuck had a piece of his soul, too, he just didn't know it. Now, Mike
looked like an empty vessel in his best Sunday suit. "I'm not cold, so
I'm not worried too much," he said, indicating the bulge under his left
arm. She suspected that was violating the Gun-Free Zone policy, from the
shape of that bulge.

     "Kathy," he said in a toneless voice, "I think it's time to end it
all."

     He said it, the code phrase, the one he told them about that
horrible Saturday afternoon when everyone came to Tuck's house. The
afternoon when the only news was their friend's worsening condition. "If
the time comes, the signal will be 'It's time to end it all,'" he said
then.

     What he and George and Dan and Book described, Kathy tried to
forget about. She couldn't condone it, not THAT, but seeing the four
pictures, the four people who had been killed by McAllen, she could not
find it in herself to object anymore.

     "Yes, Mike," she agreed. "It's time to end it all. When do we
begin?"

     Before he could say anything more, Principal Dobson tapped the
microphone, silencing the gymnasium. He stood in the center of the
basketball court, flanked by the administrative staff and
representatives from the school board. Dobson proved the Pack's best
ally at school, helpful when many of the teachers weren't. Because of
whatever dirt Debbie had on him, none of the Pack or Mike's friends had
been harassed by the teachers or staff for anything, but that didn't
save Kelly.

     *It wouldn't've saved Tuck, either,* she thought. Her tears had
ended and her fingers were cold, along with her heart. She walked away
from Mike's seat on the first row and raised her camera, taking pictures
by rote, hoping they would turn out okay. Dobson was talking, the
student body was listening, but Kathy was far outside of these events,
an observer of sights only.

She found an angle that put the principal's face in line with the four
pictures and the three policemen guarding the doors into the gym lobby,
and thought that it would be good for them to remember. It was symbolic
of all McAllen became after Tuck.

     That was the way her friends thought of it now: Before, During, and
After Tuck.

     Before Tuck, school was school, a dull thing you did every day that
wasn't vacation. During Tuck, school was more interesting, as was life
in general. She met many more people, got to know some wonderful human
beings. After Tuck, school was a center of violence and hatred, of
stronger, bigger, more popular students opposing the weaker, smaller,
less popular. "Or you'll get it like that faggot Tucker" became the
threat, After Tuck. So many people were afraid of "getting it like
Tucker" or becoming "like Tucker," even though none of them knew him.

     *Or Valerie.*

     Near the end of his life, Kathy tried to not lose focus or else she
would call Tuck Valerie or Valerie Tuck. Sooner or later, especially
with his problems, Tuck might have become Valerie, permanently, but no
one would know now. Just like no one would know if Kelly would get her
first kiss.

     She took a picture of Shannon and Ashlee, guarded by a contingent
of cheerleaders and their jock boyfriends. The pair tried to look
mournful, but their expressions were more guilty. They were due in court
in a few days for their part, and would be off to prison for a few
months after, if the Tuckers' lawyer was as mean as he sounded. The
group Mike believed had attacked Tuck first sat on the top row in the
corner, careful to look anywhere but at Dobson. She took a picture of
them, too.

     Mike launched the backup plan when Tuck died, using all sorts of
illegal activities to produce taped phone conversations where those
fuckers indicted themselves. He delivered those tapes to the police
anonymously, to no effect. The police did not act against them, or the
cheerleaders, any more than they had before, and no arrests were made.
Two days before, Kyle Dawson returned from a third suspension for
breaking Mike's Little Brother's glasses. Dobson reportedly chewed the
bully out, all but accused him of killing Tuck, and suspended him for
three days over broken glasses, an offense that would've gotten him
maybe, MAYBE two Saturday detentions Before Tuck.

     After Tuck, Dobson dissolved the sports teams, upsetting parents,
the school board, everybody it seemed, and releasing one hundred angry
male athletes into the general population, with no outlet for their
rage. Some, the good ones, transferred to other schools in the city so
they could play, but too many stayed. If Dobson hadn't done what he did,
Kelly might still be alive, or so Debbie believed, and Kathy agreed.

     The backup plan failed and Bill Tucker refused to let Mike take any
further action. Mr. Tucker didn't want to risk interfering with
anything, especially when the cheerleaders weren't in jail yet. When
they told him about Kelly, he went white and Sarah Tucker went red.
Whatever happened when they "ended it all," Tuck's parents wouldn't
interfere.

     As Dobson's memorial speech ended, Kathy took a few pictures of the
four laminated photographs, careful to avoid reflections. Miz Walls, the
cheerleading coach, argued that Jody Martin should have a photo here,
too, but Dobson ordered her to leave his office or lose her job.
According Mike's and other's affidavits, Jody was one of the
cheerleaders who hit Tuck, who accelerated his death, and her committing
suicide did not absolve her of guilt, did not elevate her to the same
position as him or Richard or Eleanor or Kelly.

     Miz Walls was standing with the teachers along the wall opposite
the policemen, looking petulant. Kathy hated her anew.

     "For the rest of the day, classes are dismissed," Dobson stated,
and people began to file out of the gym. The police presence kept the
crowd orderly, the somber mood kept them quiet. Kathy waited with Pam
and Amanda for most of the people to leave.

     "It's time to end it all, Mike said," she mentioned, and the two
girls paled. Pam perpetuated in her horror, but Amanda nodded.

     "It is. I'm tired of this, of all of it. Does Debbie know?"

     Looking to where Mike still sat, she saw Debbie whispering to him,
a fierce gleam in her eyes. "She does now."

     Before she left, Kathy retrieved her notepad and walked over to
where Dobson spoke to Whatshername Raleigh from the school board. "Mr.
Dobson?" she said to get his attention. "I was wondering if I could get
you to repeat a few things. I wasn't using a tape recorder..."

     "Sure, just a moment," he said, following her a few steps from the
other adults.

     Kathy put her pen on the slim pad and pretended to write. "I
thought you should know, we- Tuck and Kelly's friends, we've had enough.
We're not doing this anymore. If you want to send the truant officers
after us, that's your prerogative, but we're not coming to school
anymore."

     "I'm sorry to hear that," he said, and didn't protest or threaten.
"If you need any materials for homeschooling, be sure to call?"

     "Sure. Uhm, and one more thing..." Kathy wondered if he should know
this, but Debbie assured her days ago that the things she knew about
their principal could end his career, and he would not cross her
lightly. "If you hear about any... accidents, just know that they were
deserved."

     "I know."

     She looked down at him and saw his anger, long suppressed or
redirected. Kathy supposed that, if she could place a pistol in his
hand, he would chase after a few people himself.

     "We liked you a lot better than Nickerson," she said, and hoped it
didn't sound hokey.

     "Me too, Kathy. How does it go? Be seeing you?"

     They saluted each other, forefinger and thumb circled over the
right eye, and Kathy exited McAllen for the last time.