Numeric ID: 6
Date Received: 09 APR 2000
Idea From: Constance Grant
Written By: Constance Grant
Email To: /dev/null


The floor was rolling again, but gently, so I figured I could handle it.
I thought it was Jim's dad, since everyone else had a key.  I held my
robe closed at the neck like mom used to, and opened the door.

The hallway was dark, so I just opened the door and retreated into the
living room swinging my hips a little, and saying, "Come in please"

When I turned around to face Jim's dad, I saw Jenny.  Yes, the Jenny.
In my living room, she was only the girl of my dreams - unfortunately,
only in my dreams.  She parried my advances like a fencing master.  She
never let me up to bat, or even spent five minutes with me.  I could see
GEEK ALERT in her eyes every time our eyes met.

So here I am standing in my own living room in a nightie, pink bathrobe
that I'm clutching like my mom, and standing in fuzzy slippers.  "Oh."
I said.

"Hi, I'm Jenny Cross, Professor Roberts asked me to drop Jim's term
paper off to him.  Is Jim here?"

"Oh."  My mind went into geek mode again and I was speechless, she had
that effect on me.  Maybe I could just take the paper from her and she
would leave, never knowing it was me.  I held out my hand to take the
paper and said across three octaves, "I'll take it, er, Jim isn't here,
but I'll give it to him.  Thanks for bringing it over."

Jenny started to hand me the paper, and I was just reaching to take it.
Her eyes opened wide, "Br, Brad?"

Why doesn't the floor ever open when you need it to, I even thought of
fainting - actually, I wasn't far from it.  Then Jenny started to laugh.
It didn't seem like a mean laugh, she seemed to be actually amused.  At
least I gave her a good laugh, I thought dourly.  Then I got mad, here
is a girl that wouldn't give me the time of day, coming into my living
room while I'm recovering from death, and laughing at me.

"Look, I guess not much in your life is funny, but I'm just getting over
mono, and if you don't want to catch it, you better just go."  I'm sure
it would have sounded great, manly and forceful - If it wasn't spread
over five octaves, and If I hadn't forgotten to hold my robe closed.
She fell into another fit of laughter.

After getting her breath, she pointed and said, "Did you take the pink
nightie cure?"  And then began laughing at her own joke.

"Look, I really had mono, and I still may be infectious.  You really
better go."  That sounded to me to be only over three octaves.  Of
course, it wasn't as long as my manifesto delivered moments earlier.

"You look a little rocky, sit down on the sofa.  I really don't want to
laugh at you, it's just that you just looked so funny standing there..."  

She chuckled a little as we sat down, I don't know why, but I kept my
knees together and sat primly on the edge of the cushion.  

She looked at me seriously, "You really look like shit, how long have
you had the mono?"

"About two weeks, I kinda lost track of time there."  Why wasn't she
going?

"Look, don't worry.  I had mono last year; I caught it from my roommate
while I was taking care of her.  I know how you feel, been there, done
that."

"Heck, that's how I got it, I took care of Jim while he had it."  She
looked at me funny, "Look, it's the truth, ask him."  Only two octaves
this time, but high two octaves.

"Are you and Jim tight?  I thought he and Steve were an item."

"They are, I think they love each other.  Jim and I are just friends and
share this apartment.  I like girls, not guys."

"So that's why you are dressed in a pink nighty and robe - oh, and fuzzy
slippers.  You have boobs too!  Are you taking hormones?  You want to be
one of us?"

I could see my rep going into the toilet, not a girl on campus would
date me now.  With the desperation of the dammed I said, "This is the
truth.  Jim's dad doesn't know he is gay - at least he isn't sure.  He
is of the old school, and kind of homophobic.  So, months ago, Jim made
up this girlfriend and has been telling his dad about her ever since.
He named her Stephanie, an inside joke because of Steve's name."

Jenny looked interested, at least she wasn't laughing.  So I continued,
"Two weeks ago, Jim's dad decides to visit him, and meet Stephanie.  You
see Jim told his dad that he was living with Stephanie.  Since I was so
sick he couldn't ask me to leave while his dad was here, and he didn't
want to have to explain a male roommate, so he decided that I could be
Stephanie.  Well I was just getting real sick with the mono at the time,
and Jim talked me into this masquerade.  Some of his friends knew how to
dress as girls, and they fixed my hair and stuff.  The boobs are held on
by my bra."  She giggled at that, but I went on, "Jim bought a bunch of
clothes and stuff, so it looked like a girl was living here with him.
Well it wasn't a short visit like Jim first thought, his dad is still
here, but I think he is leaving today.  Look Jenny, that's the absolute
truth."

"I believe you."

"You DO?"  Now that was stupid, but it just came out.

"Yeah, I know Jim had mono, that is why Roberts asked me to bring this
over.  I know you had mono, because you look and sound like shit.  And
nobody can make up a crazy story like that."

Just then the doorbell rung, Jenny smiled and said, "I'll get it for
you, just sit and rest."

"That has to be Jim's dad, I thought you were him."

"Did you expect him in a dress too?"

"God no!  The hallway was dark and my vision is still screwed up from
the mono.  I just assumed you were Jim's dad.  Don't forget, I'm
Stephanie."

Jenny was chuckling as she answered the door.

From the doorway I heard, "You must be Jim's dad, Stephanie told me how
handsome you were."

"Yes, why thank you little darl'n."

"Sure 'nough, Jim isn't here, but Steffie is on the couch.  Come right
on in."

He strode right over to me and planted a wet one on my forehead, "You're
look'n better today, how 're feel'n?"

He sat in a chair across from me and Jenny sat next to me.  "I'm feeling
better.  I'm not sure what time Jim will be back, actually I thought he
was taking you to the airport."

"He is parking, and will be up a few minutes.  I wanted to see you one
more time.  I can see you'all love each other, and I feel guilty going
home with Jim and leaving you here all alone.  I want you to come on up
to the ranch for a few weeks.  You will recover in the fresh air and
sunshine, and we'l fatten you up some." 

Oh Christ, how am I going to get out of this?  I can't live as Stephanie
for two weeks - or more.  Then I had pure inspiration, "I don't know
sir.  I've really got to ask my mother.  I don't think she would let me
visit a boy's house.  Er, she doesn't know I, er, stayed with Jim while
I was sick."  I even managed to blush.

With that Jim walked in, he looked surprised to see Jenny sitting on the
couch with me.  "Jim, I just axed her, but she doesn't think her mother
will let her."  Jim was standing behind his father shaking his head,
mouthing 'please.'  His father continued looking at me, "You call her
little darlin, if she says no, let me talk at her.  I'll convince her."

"I can't call now, she won't be home.  How about I call her later, and
call you at home with her answer.  After all you have a plane to catch."

"Don't you worry your little head over that, it's my damn jet plane, and
they will damn well wait for me!"

Oh shit, Oh shit.  My brain went dark.  The room was quiet for several
minutes.  Jim kept motioning to me, but I wasn't about to let hem get me
alone - I would be on the ranch in a skirt in nothing flat.

Then, like the voice of doom, Jenny cleared her throat and said, "I
might be able to go with you, and your mom knows that we are roommates.
If the two of us were to go, I don't see how she could object."

Traitor!  But my mind was moving now.  "Sir, Jenny's boyfriend would be
heartbroken if Jenny left - he came here just to visit her for a few
weeks today."

"Bring him along, we have enough rooms, he can stay in the guest room.
I'll open the back wing.  The girls will be safe and sound back there."

Jim looked like the cat that ate the mouse.  He winked at Jenny and me
saying, "Great idea!  I saw Steve down in the parking lot, I'll go down
and ask him."

Jim was out the door in a flash.  I looked at Jenny.  "Jenny, can you
help me in the bathroom?"

I got up unsteadily and managed to trip over the nighty.  Jenny took my
arm, and we went into the bathroom.

"Are you CRAZY?"

"Keep your voice down."  And with that, she kissed me.  Not a little
friendly girl-to-girl kiss, but a deep kiss that had drums pounding in
my ears.  When she pulled her head back, she looked flushed too.  "For a
sick guy, that's a darn nice kiss."

"Nggnh," I exclaimed eloquently, as I put my arms around her and kissed
her until I had nothing but spots in my eyes.

When we broke this time, she said, "Wow," but softly like she just
learned something.

"What were you thinking in there?"

"Don't you want to take a two week all expense paid vacation with me?"

"Sure, but I would have to dress as a girl the whole time.  I couldn't
do that."

"Sure you can, I'll even help."

"Why?"

"I've had several classes with you, you are the kind of smart quiet guy
that I really like."

"You hardly talked to me before, I thought you didn't think I was good
enough for you."

"That wasn't it, I have been cool to all boys since I had mono, I just
didn't want to be responsible for giving anyone the disease.  I wanted
to talk to you, and now we can.  That was the first kiss I had in a
year."

She started to say something, but I kissed her again.  "But I'll have to
act like a girl!"

"Yes, but I'll bet we can room together.  I've heard two girls can have
fun too, I'll bet my boy friend and yours will find ways to occupy
themselves."

I was sick, but not stupid.  She told me to check my makeup before we
went back in, but I wasn't wearing any.  Her eyes got even wider when I
told her that.

Steve went over to Jenny and kissed her an the cheek, "Isn't this plan
wonderful Jenny, we can be together and we can help Jim and Steffie
too."

"Come with me Jenny, I'll try my mother now, she may be home by now."

"Don't forget little darl'n, if you have a problem, just call me."

Both Jenny and I called home; Jenny's mom felt better, when Jenny told
her Steffie would be going with her.  I even spoke to her briefly.  In
grand Texas form, we were airborne in four hours. 

Until Jim's dad fell asleep with a stiff bourbon in his hand, I sat with
Jim on one of the three couches.  Steve and Jenny sat on another.  Then
we switched partners, after swiveling Jim's dad eyes forward.  I was
feeling lots better.

The end???