Numeric ID: 18
Date Received: 24 JUN 2004
Idea From: Natalie
Written By: Natalie
Email To: natalie@lellebel.nl


     I looked through the peekhole but could see only white light coming
from outside and some black shadow moving somewhere in the middle. So
slowly I opened the frontdoor bracing myself for the impact of bright
light.

	"Hello Miss" Came a baritone voice from the frontporch. I stood
there squinting my eyes to filter out the light in an almost futile
attempt to make out who the stranger was addressing me. "Miss? Are
you alright?" *Right I am expected say something* so I nodded still
not trusting my voice. "Are you miss Sthepanie?" again only a nod
from me. "I am officer Johnson of the Police Department" Now that got
my attention "Could I please enter?". I opened the door to let him
and indeed the former black shadow was wearing a police uniform.

	I barely made my way to the couch before my knees gave way.
Towering above me the police officer opened his mounth "Your
boyfriend Jim and his father had a serious roadaccidant". "Oh God
NO!" I squeeked. "The father requested us to notify you and his wife.
Do you have any means of transport to get to the hospital?". "No" I
said, still sounding like my vocal cords had given up on me. "Then I
will take you there, so if you could get dressed?".

	*Oh god I am still only wearing that pink thing* and flushing
bright red I rushed to my own room. *Wait there is something wrong
here ... right no girlsclothing here*. I rushed towards 'our' room
and started rumaging through the pile of clothing. Miraculasly (or
was is meant that way?) I found a white pair of cotton trousers and a
green tanktop which sort of matched up, together with a pair white
sneakers. Sitting down I put on 'my' clothing and started walking
towards the bedroomdoor before I smaked myself hard on the head
*Think, Brad, Think! Makeup, jewelery, purse and don't forget a pair
of sunglasses*. Turning my tired ass around I started towards the
place where I had left the makeup and with a deep sigh I picked up
the foundation *Why me! Why now?*.

	"Miss, are you oke in there?" shouted the police officer. *Men why
are they always so impatient?* Brad grimaced "I am never going to say
that to a girl again" he muttered to himself. Smaking my freshly
coated lips and filling the purse with my wallet, lipstick and some
of my pills. After a last look in the mirror I opened the door and
said into the living room "I am coming just a moment" and grabbed my
sunglasses from his room.

	A couple of minutes later they were rushing away in the police car.
The tension was getting the better of me and I was dosing of inside
the warm car. " .... Miss, Miss! Wake up we're at the hospital" *Wha
... what, which idiot is waking me up, stop it leave me be*. But the
shaking wouldn't stop and eventually I opened my eyes to look into
the face of an police officer. "Oh god" I moaned as slowly it came
driftin back through the thick fog of my mind why there was a police
man shaking me and giving me a splitting headache in the proces.

	The police officer let the way to the front desk of the hospital
and addressed the woman behind it. He then turned back to me "Your
boyfriend and his father are one the 5th  floor, east wing in room
594. I am leaving now to return to my duties. I hope everything goes
well.". After that he walked of the the main entrance and sped out of
sight leaving me in a very confused state in the main hall of the
hospital.

	I replayed what he had said about the room and walked towards the
elevator. A loud ping announced the arrival of the elevator on the
ground floor. The doors opened and I stepped in, when I turned around
I saw a woman speeding towards the elevator "Please hold the elevator
for me". I pushed the 'Open' button until she was in. "Thank you Miss
for holding it open, that was very kind of you" she smiled towards me.

	While the elevator crept upwards I thougth about the last couple of
days being out in the open without the people 'spotting' me as a boy
but allways as the girl I was trying to impersonate. I though it was
a bit odd and I couldn't shake the feeling that it should have
bothered me but somehow I felt absolutely comfortable.

	The doors opened and a glance at the levelindicator confirmed that
I was on the 5th floor. I smiled a goodbye to the woman who had
accomponied me during my ride and we both stepped out. By this time
my blatter was giving out pressing signals of neglet and a new dosis
of my medication would be much appreciated by the rest of my body. I
walked towards the toilet and filled up my lungs before entering the
forbidden domain and rush to a stall and do the thing you should do
there. When washing me hands I looked at the pretty sight looking
back at me *No wonder people see a girl and not a boy*. I rummaged
through my bag for the pills "Why did I take so many stuff with me?".

	Walking through the east corridor I counted roomnumers 588, 590,
592 .... 594. I opened the door softly and heard machinery beeping at
a steady rithm. My hand came to my mounth in horror at the sight
beacuse there were those 2 men bound to several machine with wires. A
nurse who was sitting in a corner came to me "Miss may I ask why you
are here?". "I am a fr ... uhm ... the girlfriend of Jim, my name is
Stephanie". "Oke, we were expecting you. I will call the doctor to
let him know you are here". And with that she left the room to the
nurse station down the hall.

	I was still standing there in horror when a voice behind me
suprised me "Miss stephanie? I am sorry to startle you like this. My
name doctor Jenssen and I am the supervising the condition of your
boyfriend and his father". The whole situation, my illness, my
fatigue, the fact that he scared me got the better of me and out of
nothing I started to sob. "There ... there ... I know this must all
be a shock to you" the doctor placed a comforting arm around my
shoulder and guided me to a chair.

	After a couple of minutes the tears stopped flowing and the doctor
was able to explain what happened. "They were involved in a collision
on a big crossing. They both have multiple fractures and
headinjuries. We sedated them to keep them from moving to much.". I
nodded that I understood and the doctor asked if I needed anything.
My stomach decided that this was a good time to annouce that I was
hungry before this all happened. The doctor laughed "Maybe it would
be a wise decission to have something to eat in out cafeteria on the
second floor but may I suggest you freshen up first?". With a shock I
realised I must look like a racoon with my crying and rushed back to
the ladies.

	I appeared from the ladies having cleaned up the best way possible
in a toilet space and headed for the second floor. The cafeteria
offered a wide variaty of choice but most of the stuff made my
stomach switch just by looking at it. In the end it was just a salad
and a chicken sandwich. Again the thoughts emerged why the hell I was
doing this pretenting to be a girl. The fun was all over, this was no
longer a joke to keep daddy from knowing that his son gay, they were
both in a hospital bed. But here I was sitting and being all
comfortable about myself.

	Suddenly I realised *Steve*. I grapped my bag and rushed of to the
nearest public phone and called Steve. *Please be home!* then the
phone picked up "Steve it's Steph......" "Hi you reached the
voicemail of Steve please leave a message after the beep" *Darn!*
"BEEP" "Steve this is stephane, Jim and his Dad are in Saint Josepf
Hospital because they were in a car accident, please come over, room
594".

	With nothing else to do I returned to room 594 to sit by Jim and
his dad. Somewhere along time I must have dosed of because all of a
sudden I was wakened by a womans voice shouting "Oh my god! Look at
you both". I looked up and this 40 something woman was standing by
the door with her hands over her mounth. I got of my chair and walked
towards her. This motion drew her focus towards me with a face
changing from horror into question "Is that you Stephanie?". "Yes it
is me, you must be Jim's mother" and then we both hugged and Mrs.
MacDonald started to cry.

	After settling Mrs. MacDonald into a chair between her husband and
child I went looking for the nurse to inform her that she had arrived
and to have the doctor come over to explain the situation to her.
When I saw the doctor I decided to take a short walk over the floor
to give my legs a stretched after being cramped into the chair for
several hours. I was also getting thirsty again and starting looking
for something to drink. I finally spotted a coffee machine which
suited me just fine.

	The machine was making very dramatic noises while producing my
black thirst quencher. I crabbed my cup when a familiar voice behind
me said "That would be a good idea". Looking begind me I saw the lady
from the elevator smiling at me holding her own cup. "Why are you
still wandering this hospital" she asked while pressing the buttons
on the machine to start up another round of noises. "I am visiting my
boyfriend and his dad who are hospitalised here since today". "Ow I
am sorry about that, are they going to be fine?". While talking we
sat down on a couch near the coffeemachine and started some small
talk. This suited me just find just to get my mind of things.

	"May I ask how long you have been dressing as a girl?". The words
rang through my ears like somebody just fired a gun beside my head.
"But ... but .. how ... what ...? Oh nnnoooooo" and I digged my face
in my hands. "How did I know, well lets call it professional
intuition. By the way my name is Mary DeVries, I am a psychologist
here in the hospital and my specialisation is Gender Dysphoria."
*Gender dy ... whatta?* and must have show that same question on my
face.

	Mary smiled "Lets just start with you name" "My name is Stephanie,
no actually it's Brad" "Why don't I call you Stephanie since you are
obviously dressed like that now. Could you please tell me why you are
sitting beside me as Stephanie". Over the next half hour I started to
talk how it al had lead to this moment.

	"And how do you feel about the fact that you are now Stephanie?"
"Well to be honoust, pretty confusing. I know I should be fighting it
but instead I feel absolutely comfortable the way I am." A tear
started to track it's way down my face. "Why is it that I feel more a
home hits way?". "Well Stephanie that is one of the things I do
around here, I help people find those answers. I think it would be
wise to consider to come and see me to talk about this more. However
I do feel that you need to clear up other matters first". "Which
other matters Mary?" "You and Jim need to be honoust to his parents
because you can keep up this ly for long, especially with them both
in the hospital" I just nodded.

	Mary gave me her card and made me promiss to call her as soon as I
got things cleaned up a bit. Smiling I walked down the corridors
towards the room. When I approched the room I could here talking and
I quickened my pace. Mrs. MacDonald was sitting next to Jim who was
awake, his father was still sedated. Jim was smiling at me when I
came in and I gave him a gentle hugh and wispered in his ear "We got
to tell". He looked at me with terrified eyes mounthing the words
"No, no, no".

	"Yes, Jim we need to do this. It's no fair, not for your parents,
not for steve and not for me. This whole thing has awakened something
in me which I never knew existed." Both Jim and Mrs. MacDonald looked
at me in concern but both for different reasons. Jim look me deep in
the eyes and said "Oke then do it".

	"Now I like to know what is going on with you two". "I am so sorry
to have deceived you Mrs. MacDonald. First of all I am not the
girlfriend of Jim, I am his roommate Brad" The left eyebrow started
to rise to a higher level. "And second ... " and now I looked at Brad
who sighed and nodded " ... Jim doesn't have a girlfriend but a
boyfriend named Steve." The right eybrow of Mrs. MacDonald joined the
left one "Now is that so ...". "Yes it is Mrs. MacDonald" my eyes
shot to the room as Steve apparantly had heard my voicemail and had
decided this was the moment to join us.

	"Then I guess you must the boyfriend of my son" "Yes I am" and
walked to Mrs. MacDonald with his hand forward to give a handshake.
"Why now that's now the way we approuch family from where I come
from" and she stood up to give Steven a big hug. "And you" turning to
Jim "we are going to have one big talk as soon as your father wakes
up".

	I decided this was my queue to wish everybody a good day and to
return home. Outside I called a cab "Where to you want to you Miss"
"I think the mall nearby would do, since I believe I am in need of
some new clothing". And with a smile on my face the cab driver drove
towards the main road.